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[Jinja]

Hi, just wondered how many of you are not following the same pattern of menopause as your mother's, as in age of menopause. I am in the usual struggle of trying to convince my GP that I'm peri. Keep getting the you're too young as my mums last period was at 51, I'm 44 and I think I've been having peri symptoms for the last couple of years.
Jinja

[Ju Ju]

Too simplistic to just look at the mothers hormonal development. My mum started her periods early and her periods stopped early. She was told it wasn't possible as she wasn't 50! What's changed there? I started my periods very late, but my periods stopped in my early 50s. A pattern may be inherited from other female members of your family, like the size of your boobs! Mums were hardly there, while mine are quite big like my grandmothers. Plus other factors come into play that effect your pattern, for example, emotional development and environmental factors.

[Taz2]

That's the problem Jinja - it's so confusing as to peri and meno and post meno!  Your mum was menopausal at 51 but she would have gone through peri meno before then so you could still be the same as your mum by the time you get to 51. 

Peri lasts for quite a few years and can begin in your early forties - some women get symptoms from their late thirties - so you are not too young. Why not print off this page from Saga to show your doc? http://www.saga.co.uk/magazine/health-wellbeing/conditions/menopause/perimenopause-symptoms-and-treatments

Taz x

[walking the dog]

I started peri at44 I'm now 50 still peri I have had every symptom possible physical and mental. My mother had no symptoms at all but at age 54 one very heavy period and that was it ! 

[Dancinggirl]

I am one of 3 daughters.  My mother had POF - she fortunately had her 4 children in her 20s.  I had my 2 children only just in time as my POF started in my mid 30s and had HRT from the age of 37 - I was lucky in having a good GP who understood and recommended HRT, I think she had originally been a Ob/gynae before going into general medicine. I think I went post meno around 42-43.
My other 2 sisters had their meno in their late 40s to early 50s.  My grandmother also had an early menopause. There must be an hereditary element but of course it must depend on genes from both parents.  I also got horrible period pains each month, the same as my mother, whereas my sisters didn't.  DG x

[claude66]

I didn't follow in relative's footsteps but I am convinced that's because I had quite a few cycles of IVF which messed things up.

My mum and her sisters both started menopause symptoms around 55. My sister is 52 and currently has no issues. I, however, started at 47

[CLKD]

Mum aged 89 can't remember, my sister tells me that she's 'been through all that', she's a lot younger  .

Keeping a diary of mood/food/symptoms is the best way of charting any variations.  If your GP even suggests that you are 'too young' ask what she/he is basing that info. on!!!!

[Halfpint]

I wonder if they actually called it peri menopause in my Mum's era? I remember when the Dr prescribed her HRT and told her it was the menopause she actually said 'I thought I had been through all that'!  I do remember her symptoms started around the age I am now and I'm in peri and one of my sisters also started around this age. I have heard other people say it's hereditary and that you tend to go through it same age as your mother did so in my case, it's following the same pattern.

[Jinja]

Thanks for all your replies seems we don't all follow our family paths. I did start my periods at the same age as my mum but they were certainly different very painful right from the beginning. And my mum went through menopause with a couple of erractic periods and that was it no symptoms, I'm certainly not doing that. At the minute I'm waiting for an ultrasound as gp wants to rule everything else out.
Feeling a bit fed up today as period has just started on day 18of my cycle, just hate not knowing when it'll turn up the last 6 months has varied between 18 to 45 days!

[Dana]

Don't forget that we also get our genes from our paternal side too. So your patterns could be influenced by your father's female relatives, or we could be influenced by someone's experience 3 generations back. Basically it's too hard to predict what any of us will experience based solely on close family.

My mother and I were absolutely nothing alike, in any respect, but my father said I was a lot like his mother, whom I never met and Dad rarely talked about. So my whole life could be mimicing a woman's I know nothing about.

[Babsm67]

That's interesting that you have said that, Dana, as it appears DD has followed her dad's side of the family and that I may possibly be doing likewise.  Mum, DD & I all started our periods at different ages (I was late in comparison).  Mum always had problems (different to DD's) & had a partial hysterectomy in her forties.  Her peri symptoms started at 47.  Periods were normal for me until peri started kicking in at 46 (now 49). My late maternal grandmother sailed through meno & never had gynae difficulties.
DD has been plagued with heavy, painful, irregular periods from the start & recently found out she has PCOS & endometriosis.   It turns out that all the females on my husband's side had the same problems.   Like you, my father doesn't talk about his mother so I have no idea what happened as she died when I was a baby.

[linz57]

Me and mum both entered menopause at roughly the same age but that's where the similarities end. She had awful bleeding, non stop for six months then that was it, no other symptoms. I on the other hand had no problems with bleeding, one or two months I was erratic and then menstruation stopped.
However, since being post menopausal I seem to suffer a new problem every month and feel like my body is doing its damndest to drag me down both physically and emotionally

[babyjane]

I have no idea about my mother's menopause as she had a hysterectomy aged 38 when I was three.  Strangely I also had a hysterectomy aged 38 so I guess I took after my mother there but beyond that there is no way of knowing how things might have been.

[coldethyl]

Mum and I both hit the transition in our late 40s- she had terrible anxiety and bleeding but no flashes. I've had the anxiety but not so much trouble with periods and I've had the sweats and flashing in abundance.

[Halfpint]

That is interesting Dana as my daughter is taking after her Grandmother (my mother in law) with very heavy, painful periods that last around a week whereas I have always had very light periods that only last a few days and rarely caused me pain (that is until peri when they have become heavier and more painful!). She also took after her Grandmother as to how early she started her periods whereas I was 15.