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[Justjules]

Everybody seems quiet on here at the moment....maybe everybody is just fed up of moaning about how we're feeling and are just trying to cope.  Well I'm going to have a moan if you don't mind as I'm getting more and more fed up now. Week 3 of Citalopram and apart from no crying, feel no different anxiety wise. Still waking with racing heart at 5:00am but did stop for a few days and I though great, but no, it's back again. Managed the half days at work in the afternoon but I am so shaky and anxious this morning I'm dreading trying to go back to work full days next week. How the hell I am going to be able to leave the house by 8:00am, goodness knows. I really can't get signed off again. I have just had breakfast, tried to put some washing in and emptied the drier and I'm shaking like mad and then feel as if my heart is all over the place. Came off the BBs to go onto Citalopram but everybody keeps saying that it won't be withdrawals from those as the dose was so low. I am seriously thinking now that there is something medically wrong and that this can't all just be anxiety.....I have been diagnosed with. Dry low vitamin D and given the mega dose tablets but on top of how I feel I am just too scared to take them. It's ridiculous. I e gone into a panic also because our nearest a&e has just been closed and the nearest is now 25 mins away at least so that is how my mind works! Just taken half a Valium but only have one left  last time I took one, all this shaking stopped so in a way that did confirm that it could just be anxiety. It this is ,asking too long now. I just want a few months sabbatical to get myself well but no chance. Hubby is about to lose his job I think but of course, he won't talk about it so that's extra pressure for me to stay in work.

Well that's off my chest in writing at least ladies....thanks.

[kpatton56]

Hi JJ
What you are experiencing is horrible but it is also classic anxiety. Have you been offered cbt? It really helps. I realise it is difficult so please don't think I am over simplifying your situation but the bottom line is that anxiety symptoms won't harm you and won't lead to anything worse. It is helpful to tell yourself that and then focus on what you need to do and do it. This requires a lot of discipline and takes time to become practised in. Baby steps JJ! You will beat it!!! 😀

[Bettyboo]

Hi JJ

Couldn't just read and run, I am still here, checking into forum everyday and just reading others posts makes me feel less 'mad'. I had a stop-start thing with e-cit a few weeks ago and was encouraged to try again by some of the replies to my problem. I'm now on day 9 and feeling much better. Brain is not whirring with HA as much and even managed dog walk without thinking I would need toilet. I Split the dose and started at 5mg, have now got it up to 10mg, split am and pm. I'm still taking my BBs - 40mg propranolol am and that does stop the palpitations. Can you take both again? I did think it was the combination that gave me side effects but someone on here found me the research that showed it was only high dose BBs that interfered with e-cit.

You've got a lot on your plate at the moment, esp with OH's job problems. Subconsciously this will be having an effect on you too. Have you tried meditation or listening to soothing music? I've had a lot of success with the Headspace app for 10 min meditating, you can do the first ten days free, or there is some good music on You Tube which I find very calming. Take care.

Hugs 

[Justjules]

Thanks ladies.

KCB, my more rationale side, when it appears briefly, tells me yes, it's all anxiety but just get frustrated because dr's know you're anxious so always put everything down to that. I have had full bloods done and all okay but have been like this since January now and have had bad anxiety over the years but this seems all so different.

BB, yes, sometimes I just 'lurk' for a few days and makes me feel better to know you're not the only one suffering.  I don't think there are any BBs I can take with Cit but when I was in Cit for many years I was also on a BB so I think that's the difference this time....that's what probably controlled the shaking and rapid heart rate.  I do do meditation most days and yes, have the Headspace app....I am honestly trying everything. Had CBT but too basic on NHS so pay for a private NLP therapist who is wonderful but costs me a fortune! She keeps me sane once a week!  I know these things time time to pass and I feel I need more time than just re-entering the real world and just get on with day to day work and life. I even have a cleaner fortnightly now as I have zilch enthusiasm for my housework, socialising, clothes or anything.  Just not me at all.

[Noodle]

Morning JJ

I have no personal experience but The Man was put on Citralopam a few years ago for depression.

 The first few weeks were a roller coaster of side effects for him.  The one that sticks in my mind is when he got 'stuck' in the garden.  He was sat in a chair on the decking and found he couldn't move, neither could be shout to me to go and help him.  He persevered and the side effects died down, the benefits then started to kick in and they proved to be really effective for him.

I'm not saying this to scare you, but to give you courage to carry on with the Citralopam for a while longer as if your symptoms are due to it, they may well pass.

He's been my inspiration for gritting my teeth when I started HRT in January and carrying on through a raft of side effects, which sure enough, died down over 4 weeks..

Good luck.

[SadLynda]

Hi JJ, guess I was lucky the Setraline worked for me - but I was the same as you before it.  One thing that jumped out at the there was the vit D thing, have you thought about trying the spray like Babyjane is on? I have that on my wishlist to try in the future, might make you feel better than more pills?

From what I have read here many of us have experienced anxiety for the first time, and treatment seems to be a very much individual thing, maybe you do need to give it a bit longer? I started in December and was 'okay' after that, but when my dose was increased last month improved a lot.  I hope you find something that will help you soon.

[Justjules]

Noodle thanks. I know Citalopram is really good. Just being impatient probably and had such a rough ride after being put on Sertraline initially back in January and suffered horrendous side affects, my body doesn't know whether it's coming or going at the moment. It makes you so weary.

[Justjules]

Hi JJ, guess I was lucky the Setraline worked for me - but I was the same as you before it.  One thing that jumped out at the there was the vit D thing, have you thought about trying the spray like Babyjane is on? I have that on my wishlist to try in the future, might make you feel better than more pills?

From what I have read here many of us have experienced anxiety for the first time, and treatment seems to be a very much individual thing, maybe you do need to give it a bit longer? I started in December and was 'okay' after that, but when my dose was increased last month improved a lot.  I hope you find something that will help you soon.

Yes, SL, wondered whether to try that first so might order some as she has pm'd me the details.  Don't want to Dr to be cross with me if I haven't taken the prescription as I obviously need it and am fretting about the consequences of it being low and not doing as I'm told!

[Kate50]

Keep saying this but no one picks up on it.  Homeopathic Aconite I had palpitations laSt night as my oestrogen off since taking utrogestan and if I didn't take this I would be on all sorts. I have a homeopath so I take a 10M remedy it works!  Getting on a plane tonight!

[Justjules]

Kate, I know you do, and I was using a homeopath for a while as you know but remedies are individual anyway surely? She gave me arsenicum the last time I saw her but I must admit, I was bad with withdrawals at the time and very low and stupidly didn't take it.

Where are you off to tonight 

[Kate50]

Remedies can be individual but not always.  This has been brilliant for me it's not one I would normally take and not in that strength but it does the job.  It wasn't what my homeopath recommended that didnt work but been using them such  a long time I thought it might work. My homeopath is always up for trying something different.  We are traveling to Manchester airport over night and flying to Barcelona for a week for hubby 50th.
I just don't like to see people suffer when they don't have to.   

[Justjules]

That's useful to bear in mind though Kate. Thanks. Have a lovely holiday!

SJ, I spoke to my therapist today, who is pretty clued up on these things as well but she said I obviously need such a big dose because my levels are very low so it would take too long doing it that way to make any difference and that I just need to take it and it shouldn't be a problem.

[CLKD]

Nothing is 'just' or 'only' anything    there is ALWAYS a reason for how we feel. 

How is your diet?  Low blood sugar can cause anxiety surges particularly first thing in the morning, something to do with cortisol levels?  If you get up for a bathroom visit in the night, then eat a biscuit or a Dextrose tablet B4 your go back to sleep.  BBs are designed to stop the anxiety surges but if they over-take me, I have an emergency tablet to take.  Maybe your GP could prescribe something for 5 mornings ………. anxiety can take over and be soul destroying.

I have taken Propranolol with all the anti-depressants prescribed since 2002.  Your GP should be able to prescribe an emergency medication and Katiecurrantbun - "anxiety symptoms won't harm you and won't lead to anything worse …… " - I have at times been suicidal due to continuing anxiety …… without the emergency meds I wouldn't be here.

[Taz2]

Did you find out how low your level is Jj?

I too have the morning dreads. I'm ok to get to work as long as I am up at least two hours before I need to leave the house. I'm much better if I am on my own too - I hate having people around me when I feel anxious. I've been given Citalopram to try but as it is likely to cause diarrhoea and nausea for a couple of weeks I find it really difficult to start them as these are the two things which cause me to be anxious in the "what if" kind of way. Daft but true!!

Taz x

[CLKD]

I have suffered nausea Taz but never 'the runs'  . 

Some ADs have had side effects within 24 hours that some would have tolerated, but due to my phobia it was impossible for me.  I always began new medications over-night …….. rather than trying to deal with stuff and any side-effects!  Not daft Taz ……… worrying about what might happen can start the gut reaction immediately for me  .  Prozac - supposedly without side effects  - caused me to feel that I was walking on 7" heels (remember Elton John in Tommy?) and my feet felt like jelly.  After 3 days I had to stop them because I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of bed as my legs would not have supported me. Add to that rages 

 It took ages but eventually my GP found something that works.