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[SueRoe]

My father has Alzheimers and has lost all control of his bowels. His accidents are frequent and dreadful for all concerned as he struggles to clean himself, his clothes and the carpet. My mother is in very poor health herself and is exhausted. He has pads to use but these don't "contain" the mess. Has anyone got any experience of the "all-in-one, pull-up" incontinence pants for someone in a similar pickle? Any other advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks.

[CLKD]

What support do your parents accept?  Have a look at the Alzheimers Web-site and send an e-mail?  Is there a Continence Nurse attached to your GP Surgery, maybe someone professional will be able to give advice - which they may not accept from you?  Messy all round …….. what type of bath do they have, maybe a walk-in shower would be more appropriate?

Social Services will do an assessment of needs if your parents are accepting? 

Losing control may be a functional issue i.e. the spincter may have lost 'grip'?  Is his GP aware of this? 

Let us know how you get on!

[countrybumpkin]

His GP can arrange for him to have regular deliveries of adult nappies as such. There is a continence nurse attached to each surgery usually district nurse who is specially trained.  If he already has been assessed and has pads prescribed then he can be reassessed for full nappies.
My mother in law had to have these when her dementia progressed and they were just like babies disposable nappies but big and they changed her just like you would a baby but they can also be put on standing as well.
If you want to try some first then they are available over the internet for a price.
It does sound as if he maybe needs much more support than they currently have. I have found that the " authorities" will always let you cope unless you shout the loudest so maybe they need to have it made clear your mother cannot continue to look after him now he is this bad. All very sad for al concerned.

[Taz2]

Hi Freda - there might be some tips here about managing this delicate problem https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php'documentID=136 

Taz x 

[CLKD]

Thanks Countrybumpkin ……. we need to shout B4 issues arise!

[CLKD]

Let us know how you get on!

[babyjane]

when my late grandmother could not return to her own home after a fall the social services expected my mother and father to take her in and care for her.  My mother had health issues of her own and my father had heart problems but they still expected it.  I took mother to her doctors where she explained the situation and her doctor wrote a letter to the social services stating that my mother could not care for an incontinent 90 year old geriatric with dementia as well as a poorly husband and that it could kill her to have to do so.  The social services accepted the doctor's recommendation and my grandmother was given a place in a geriatric home on discharge from hospital and no more was said about my mother doing any more than buying vests and pants and nightwear for her mother in law.

[CLKD]

It really is but if you take your Mum to one side and ask how much help she thinks she and your Dad might need say, in the next 2-3 months, it will give her time to think that she is making the decision.  We remain their children so suggestions from us are often dismissed! 

Give your Surgery a ring and ask to speak with the Continence Nurse for advice?  That way you will know what is available in your parents' area and how to proceed.  OFten a Professional offering suggestions is 'heard' better ;-).

Let us know how you get on!

[CLKD]

Could you get the extra pads etc. delivered, sit back and wait?  One can lead a horse to water!  Hopefully you are not the one clearing and cleaning up!!! 

Ask them what they would suggest to friends in a similar situation?

[CLKD]

My Mum won't discuss the future unless we are having a really good time and then she says "this probably isn't the right time but I think we should talk about" - it was funerals on Good Friday