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[Janice68]

Hi all,
Just asking does anyone suffer worse anxiety after seeing their doctor I used to think my doc was okay but being on this meno journey with all my  symptoms. Its a lack of  understanding and being belittled that does me in. I don't feel I can go back to her now!! Its made me feel worse!!  janx

[Ciscola]

I know exactly how you feel. You're limited to 10 minutes max & you have to explain everything & get them to actually do something to help you.
Last time I went, I felt like I had gained more knowledge just from research on here, than my Doctor actually had. All he did was look it up in a book. I'm surprised he didn't Google it, lol.
Then he tried to prescribe something that wasn't even relevant to my age etc. It was a really hard slog & so stressful. I already had anxiety, which was doubled because I knew how it would be, to just try to get some help.
I've finally managed to get some new HRT now. So fingers crossed it works for me.

Funny though, I thought I was being hard done by to have to do to a male doctors. But it sounds like your female doctor was hard work too.
Keep trying. You deserve the treatment that will help with your awful symptoms & in the meantime use this site as I have to gain support & knowledge.
It's great.

[vickypk]

Hi Janice68
I feel the same when I go to my GP .   I have had a lot of anxiety over the past 3 years and went to my GP a few times with it. Since I have been on HRT  I have been better, but when I went to my GP for a check up a couple of weeks ago, I hadn't been for months, she still said about the anxiety, even though I never mentioned it.  Then I started feeling anxious during the consultation. 
Hope you are okay

[CLKD]

Which is why I take a list with me to work through with my GP 

[vickypk]

You are right CLKD I will definitely do a list next time, as I didn't  get to say hardly anything and will need to go back, I feel put off now though.

[CLKD]

Of course.  But we don't know what kind of day the GP had faced …… if I don't get the answer I want I take my list back a couple of weeks later and say 'I don't think that I was listening last time, can you remind me '  .  Usually my GP is OK.  Or I go to the Practice Nurse with my list and she will decided if I need to see the GP.  It's about building a relationship.  However, if we are feeling vulnerable it is often difficult to put forward what we require.  Plus knowing that we have the apparent 10 min slot although I've never felt rushed.  I've paid my dues after all  .

[Bettyboo]

I've been thinking about your post Janice and agree. In fact, I realise that in a way I sort of 'blame' the doctors for my HA developing. I have seen at least 9 different doctors incl gyny in last 3-4 years and NOT One of them has ever mentioned meno. If I have brought it up myself as a possible cause I've got a shrug. I'm 51 why didn't I think of it, or is it really my job to self-diagnose? (insert swearing here), now I have found this forum I can see that virtually all the symptoms point to meno. Yet, when I first went to Dr with random pains, panic attacks and low mood I was told that there was no such thing as pains that move around to different place or random pains in the middle of your leg, I must be imagining it, the joint pains were nothing/ had no cause, etc. None of them ever asked me what my cycle was doing, never even raised the possibility of peri/ meno. The best I got was a suggestion that it could be fibromyalgia, no tests, nothing.

Of course, as  result I just kept worrying and worrying, because I still had the pains and the depression, and it developed into HA. I'm sure that if someone had suggested it was meno or my age then I would just have accepted it and been OK. Now I am stuck in a vicious circle of worry.

[babyjane]

with regards to the 10 minute appointments, if I need to talk at length with my GP, my male or my female GP, I book a double appointment.  They don't mind at all as if I then don't need the whole 20 minutes it allows them some time to catch up if they are over running 

Both my male and my female GP have done their best to listen and to help me and sometimes I drop in a note with a question and always get a phone call in response either from the GP or the practice pharmacist.  this saves the NHS the £45 for a consultation if all I need to do is ask a question.

The doctor/patient relationship is just that, a relationship.  It takes time to build up and works both ways.  I know there are some pointless GPs out there, our practice has one, but we just avoid him.

I have also found in the past that a newly qualified young GP is often streets ahead of the old die hards, much more thorough as they are still adding to their knowledge and expertise.  In fact it was a GP registrar who diagnosed my son with appendicitis on the point of rupture when he was 16, because he asked one of his colleagues for a second opinion and then sent my son to hospital. 

[coldethyl]

I've been thinking about your post Janice and agree. In fact, I realise that in a way I sort of 'blame' the doctors for my HA developing. I have seen at least 9 different doctors incl gyny in last 3-4 years and NOT One of them has ever mentioned meno. If I have brought it up myself as a possible cause I've got a shrug. I'm 51 why didn't I think of it, or is it really my job to self-diagnose? (insert swearing here), now I have found this forum I can see that virtually all the symptoms point to meno. Yet, when I first went to Dr with random pains, panic attacks and low mood I was told that there was no such thing as pains that move around to different place or random pains in the middle of your leg, I must be imagining it, the joint pains were nothing/ had no cause, etc. None of them ever asked me what my cycle was doing, never even raised the possibility of peri/ meno. The best I got was a suggestion that it could be fibromyalgia, no tests, nothing.

Of course, as  result I just kept worrying and worrying, because I still had the pains and the depression, and it developed into HA. I'm sure that if someone had suggested it was meno or my age then I would just have accepted it and been OK. Now I am stuck in a vicious circle of worry.

Your post really resonates with me. My HA started years before the meno when I did develop fibromyalgia but the only GP at my practice who believed in it as a diagnosis retired and I was left with the anxiety label which has stuck ever since and which now seems their answer to whatever I turn up with. Sometimes I feel like screaming that I may be anxious but that's largely because you dismiss my symptoms as anxiety without any further tests and that's one hell of assumption to make that anxious people never get cancer, heart disease etc. It's only because I saw a new to me doctor that I had blood tests and found out I was diabetic before too much damage done. I have started recently with ectopic heart beats again which I had years ago and occasionally since at period time - been told it's meno by three doctors, one that I'm neurotic and a nurse told me she has them and I'll need to learn to cope. None of them suggested any further treatment so you're left feeling anxious and unable to approach anyone for support. I'm starting to think that I'm better off not going to them as they are next to useless. I think it's partially that time and budget constraints mean that the profession is haemorrhaging those that wanted to be GPs because they liked interacting with people , leaving those that are happier at end of phone consultation. 

[babyjane]

my gut feeling reading your post coldethyl is that it is time to find yourself a new doctors.  there are good ones out there, we have one and I am sure it is not the only one.  You are being let down as was shown by your diabetes diagnosis and you deserve better.

[Bettyboo]

Babyjane - you did well to change your GP, sometimes it's not that easy depending on your location, perhaps rural there is not the choice of GP surgeries, and difficult to know if you are going from frying pan into fire.

I am both lucky and unlucky to live in France at the moment. I accept it was (partly) my choice to do so and I must deal with consequences. Our two lady GPs are lovely but like UK the profession is losing GPs and three surgeries in surrounding villages have closed in five years so they have taken more people onto their books. Often now you get a student medic or a locum. There's no appointment system either - its like uk in the 1970s, but now you can end up waiting for three hours, even if you get there at 8. Even though they speak English and I speak French I do wonder if something is lost in translation. Referrals are quick though.

Coldethyl - I too had ectopic beats in about 2007 causing palpitations which went away. Then when the meno/ whatever it is started in 2012 palpitations again, but I was labelled as anxious and with dangerous high blood pressure caused by being anxious. I don't know if I would still have the ectopic beats still as I take propranolol. It might seem mad but I can't remember whether I was given the propranolol for the anxiety or for high blood pressure, and I've tried to come off them twice but not been able to.

I've never been sure of the fibro diagnosis. I do have the pressure points but I don't fit the tiredness pattern. The trouble is I can't remember what normal feels like any more.

[coldethyl]

Bettyboo, I take propranolol for palpitations. My BP was perfect without them and low on them till recently .. Now I get spikes because I am anxious and suspect I'll have to raise dose. My GP wasn't concerned but the nurse at a and e wasn't too happy with it, even though dr there said it was just up a bit. Will see what dr decides tomorrow.

[Janice68]

Thank you for all your replies!

I totally relate Bettyboo, when I say this and that oh no it cant be the meno!! Ive suffered soo long with my anxiety I felt I like I was not  being listened too which makes it worse and then worrying about my health, but what does concern me that they will miss something but blame the meno vicious circle eh!!

I know I have a lot of symptoms my partner says its all over her head and shes one for saving money!! And looks in a book!!!
This journey is hard enough my gynae is male and older and patient thank god, other wise I would of given up. It is such  a hard journey  and very exhausting I just don't need belittling people in my life anymore. I will see a different doc now and move on. ALSO say good luck to her when the menopause hits her!!

I used to think it was me but no more I now no there are like minded people and I am not alone!!       Thank you all!!  janx

[Bettyboo]

Good luck at the Docs tomorrow Coldethyl.

Hi Janice - I agree, just finding this site and realising that I'm not alone has helped a lot. Usually when I have a new symptom I can find someone (or more) on here who also has it. But I'm getting really fed up with it now, and fed up with myself. My OH is not sympathetic, he is of the 'take an ibufrofen and get on with it' mentality. I'm becoming agoraphobic now and that is really worrying me.

Good luck everyone.

BB

[Janice68]

Hi Bettyboo,  God I can relate I'm so fed up with it too! They just give you a pill and leave you go to get on with and it gets worse. Try not to take out on yourself. I'm good at that
Myself too! But learning to be kinder to myself now and to take little steps to help me on this meno journey!  I have to say I do feel isolated is that what you mean Bettyboo?  Jan