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[Sarai]

Well I'm gutted, I had gone 27 weeks period free, then boobs started hurting again, so I blamed having swapped makes of Starflower Oil. Well at 31 weeks had a dreadful shock one night when a relative died suddenly, next morning a period, and a period from hell. I am so bloody annoyed.
So now nearly 2 weeks later it is acting like it could start again, like bloody discharge, sorry TMI. My mood is all over the place, literally.
I'm 54 and had enough now, sorry I know others will say I've most likely got many more miserable years.
I really do not want to do HRT but I really want to be happy.
Trying mindfulness, relaxation, pretty candles, flowers, healthy diet, walks when we can, adult colouring. Damn it i just want to be happy.

[babyjane]

so sorry to hear about your relative sarai, and your discomfort.  Looking back I do not consider I have had too bad a time of it and I never went down the HRT route, but when I was your age I would say that was around the most difficult time. I am now 59 and things are settling and although my oestrogen levels are probably low (never had blood test) I don't think the levels are fluctuating as much so I am feeling more stable.
If someone had said to me at 54 that things would start to improve in about 5 years I would probably have screamed at them, but just wanted to tell you that I think the menopause is a finite thing, we just have to find our own best coping strategies for the duration, whatever it is that helps us.  Good luck.

[Dancinggirl]

Sarai - why are you so determined not to try HRT?  Life is short and going through the next few years hoping that symptoms will get better and/or subside is not perhaps the best way forward.  At least if you gave HRT a try you would know whether life could be better. If however you were feeling ok during the time your periods had stopped, then having had this big gap you may be close to post meno and maybe things will settle quickly for you once your periods actually cease - but this is an unknown.  In my experience, expecting things to be all better once you are out the other side and not having periods is unrealistic.
DG x

[Sarai]

babyjane, yes I think I will scream at you, I cant wait until 59. Lol.
Flippin heck this is a damn nightmare, I don't have my mum and have no siblings so cant even share familial stories and have no idea what happened with my mother as she never talked about such things and died at 65.

[Sarai]

Dancinggirl - yes I know I am unrealistic. The 31 week period free was lovely, no sweats of any sort, no period aches to speak of, no sore boobs until last 4 weeks. Still had mood swings, but I am still immersed in the damage done to me last year with anxiety, surgery and the vitamin D overdose, as it left me with tinnitus and hyperacusis which has drastically changed my life.
I don't want HRT as I am contraindicated due to my blood disorder and know I am only allowed low dose oestrogen. But I felt as I was doing pretty well I would not need it. I am scared of taking stuff now, don't want to rock the boat I'm presently in.
I spend so much time in my head whittling over stuff, it all goes around in circles.
I'm stupid I know I just dream if it was all over my body and my tinnitus would settle. I look forward to bed every day for some respite from my stupid brain. and frankly I'm glad life's short as I don't want to live another 30 odd years like I am now.

[babyjane]

You don't have to take HRT, it is your body and your choice. I chose not to, others chose to and found it helped them.

whatever you choose to do there are no right and wrongs, only what is right for you.

I wish you all the best 

[Dancinggirl]

Sarai - you are absolutely right - I had forgotten what a tough time you've had in recent times and I do understand that HRT would be a risk for you. If you felt OK during your gap then there is hope that once your periods do stop you will find some equilibrium.  Be kind to yourself.  DG xxxxxxx