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[Mandz]

I just feel like leaving .....disappearing into obscurity when I feel like this!

It kind of makes me wonder if some women ( not all) that you hear of go missing due to feeling like this ....

I love my family dearly, and my friends but it's just the overwhelming sadness xxx

[Mandz]

I don't know if I want company or not, and only certain people, .....

🙏🏻 I hope tomorrow is better xx

[Mandz]

Thank u sparkle ....I know you've said in past that you don't sleep well, but I hope you have a restful night xx

[babyjane]

I am good on a one to one basis but if I have to deal with more than one person at a time I strugle.  I am missing a family wedding due to these difficulties 

[Dyan]

Thinking about you Mandz.
How was your day today?    X

[Mandz]

Babyjane: I am so sorry to hear that, is there no way you could attend? Xx

Thank you dyan, be an up and down kind of day.... Went to see my counsellor today, it was a hard session, I just couldn't put my words together what I wanted to say, everything was a struggle ..

[Mandz]

Well it's morning again, and I'm suppose to be going out for lunch with my old boss, she's lovely,I will go, but it's just getting my sorry ass up, I actually feel as if my body aches, I don't feel tearful today, just tired n achey.....

I "really" need/want to be fine 

[Justjules]

Mandz, just seen this...I felt like that a couple of days ago. Take a couple of paracetamol and a diazepam later just before If you have some .... I did this, went and actually got through it. It will do you good and you will feel like you have achieved something. Sit down before you go, do some deep breathing for a few minutes and tell yourself you can do it and you will.  xxx

[babyjane]

Babyjane: I am so sorry to hear that, is there no way you could attend? Xx

thank you Mandz, I think not. I get anxious just thinking about it as it would be a long journey, 2 days overnight stay, many people and a boisterous evening do. I realise my limitations and have had a good talk with the family and the relative whose wedding it is and they have been understanding and supportive. If I could just be beamed up and plonked down then beamed back home again afterwards maybe, but I doubt I would manage the journey without some sort of crisis at the moment which would then cause a downward spiral for the rest of it for everyone else.

[CLKD]

Make sure that lots of photos are taken babyjane!  You will be with them in Spirit  and now that you have put your foot down with firm hand and said 'no' you'll feel much better about it.  I couldn't go into my late F in L's funeral ……. it wasn't worth the hassle.

Learning to realise our limitations is important.

[Mandz]

Hi all,
Went to lunch, ordered a sandwich and couldn't face it: took it home and had it just now!

When she dropped me off the tears came, didn't want her to leave me, pathetic, just wanted her to scoop me up and make everything ok!

Anyway was ok once I got indoors, this journey is a hard one xxx

[coldethyl]

Hi all,
Went to lunch, ordered a sandwich and couldn't face it: took it home and had it just now!

When she dropped me off the tears came, didn't want her to leave me, pathetic, just wanted her to scoop me up and make everything ok!

Anyway was ok once I got indoors, this journey is a hard one xxx

You went. Some days that is more than good enough. I know all about the tears and just wanting someone to take this all away. I had a cry on my mum at weekend but she's not great at dealing with emotion so it wasn't very satisfying. Hang in there.x

[Mandz]

My mum doesn't understand this either, both her n my sister have never suffered this, and as far as I am aware my mums family haven't either!

Most of my friends are pretty level .....some have had emotional issues but not to the extent that I've had.......

Sending u a cyber hug coldethyl xx

[CLKD]

You went!  PHEW! that's that done with.  Onwards …………

[Mandz]

Yes CLKD, if I didn't go out I'd have felt awful for not going it's a vicious circle

Damned if you do.....damned if you don't

I was just saying to someone else....there's support groups etc for people with addictions or illnesses .....but women's " problems" seems to be invisible, and we spend money with therapists counsellors etc to get help for our bodies and minds.....(gawd help those that can't afford it).... Even going online for answers I've found that it's constant: pay for answers....: pay for calming stuff etc etc