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[orchid]

I'm sure all my menopause symptoms are returning! This morning I've had such adrenalin surges, got pain in my temple and already low with depression. I've been with my daughter and granddaughter to toddlers singalong, which was ok, but there are so many grandmothers there that are childminders. They don't look like they have a care in the world and looking after their grandchildren full time. I feel so inadequate!! My daughter is expecting another baby in three weeks and I need to be there for her, but feel like I can't cope! Does anyone else feel like this? I'm only three weeks into my old antidepressant and I am a lot better than I was, but so sick of life and the downs I'm 57 now, had the hrt off now two years. This all started when I was 41....will I ever enjoy life again.

[CLKD]

Think about why you stopped the HRT?

Stop considering that others are doing 'better' than you are.  Aren't we all known for being able to put on an act when out and about?  Unless you ask how they are coping  and maybe, whilst other Grannys are in company, that burst of adrenaline helps them get through the morning.  You don't know how they are once the get home!

Stop comparing    This is about YOU! not how others are. 

[coldethyl]

I'm not sure what the answer is other than trying to not beat yourself up about feeling unwell. It's easy to think that everyone else is coping well but reality is probably that all those other women have bad days too. I know before coming on here I felt that I was just failing at menopause like I'd failed at getting pregnant easily, sailing through periods without a twinge etc.. But many women struggle and there is no shame in it. Maybe you need to tweak your antidepressants a bit to help you through this. Or see about some psychological support such as mindfulness or CBT just to help you cope better with the bad days.
And have a hug .. A real one is great for releasing oxytocin which is the happiness chemical but have a virtual one too xxx

[Hurdity]

Hi orchid - sorry to hear you are feeling rough - I don't have grandchildren yet but I certainly couldn't imagine looking after them full-time and I am on HRT!!!

Any reason why you gave up HRT and went onto ADs? Maybe time to reconsider - but in any case it sounds like you need to take it easy and only do what you feel comfortable doing - and definitely save your energies for when your daughter has her new baby!

Hurdity x

[orchid]

Thanks ladies for your comments! I am currently waiting for some more in depth cbt. It's really difficult to know if my symptoms are hormonal now I am post menopause. Everything seemed settled, then with stress of moving house, trying to change my AD over past 6 months I've been to hell and back.

[orchid]

Hurdity...I was recommended by the GP to come off hrt because of migraine and family history of breast cancer. I must admit that's what pulled me up from the brink when I saw prof Stud about 5 years ago. I did try it again around October time when I was rock bottom, but it didn't lift me much and I had a lot of cramp which was probably from the fibroid I have. Mind you I only used it for about a week which no doubt wasn't long enough for it to kick in. I'm not good with progesterones either.

[coldethyl]

I think just moving house in itself is stress enough to set you off. Never mind the rest of life's stresses. Hope the CBT helps. I did find it useful many years ago and am seeing someone now to help with my hormonal anxiety.

[orchid]

Coldethyl...I think my anxiety is hormonal and not through irrational thoughts. Do you mind me asking your age? Are you postmenopause too? X

[Mary G]

orchid, I'm sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time.  I can't advise you on the suitability of HRT for people who have breast cancer in the family but I would be interested to hear what Professor Studd had to say about it when you saw him.  I hope you don't mind me asking.

Regarding migraines, did you have migraines before the menopause and if so, was it just before a period?  If so, this would indicate that they are brought on by a lack of oestrogen.  Other women seem to get them by having too much oestrogen but it depends at what part of the cycle the migraine strikes. 

The fact that you don't get on with progesterone might indicate that you have the same problem as me and that is the migraines are triggered by synthetic progestins - this is the only trigger for me, nothing else. 

What type of HRT were you taking?

[GypsyRoseLee]

So sorry to hear you're struggling orchid. I know exactly how the jittery anxiety feels, it's like a poisonous knot inside isn't it?

Can I ask how did you feel once you started on Prof Studd's HRT regime 5 years ago? Did it really help?

I believe there is a difference between hormonal anxiety/low mood and conventional anxiety/low mood. So you might find that conventional ADs might not help that much, and what you really need is hormones again.

Back when I first started with peri, and suffered with hormonal anxiety and low mood I spent 7 months on Amitriptyline. But the anxiety/low mood/jitteriness still resurfaced regularly, so the AD wasn't curing me.

[GypsyRoseLee]

I also wanted to add that originally I think I was keeping my peri symptoms and low mood under control. But then we suddenly had serious house issues and I think that worry and stress tipped me over the edge. Suddenly I stopped being able to deal with my symptoms, and that scared me and that's when the anxiety arrived.

So I am not remotely surprised that your house mood has made you emotionally vulnerable again.

[Kathleen]

Hello orchid.

I know how you feel as I've been so jittery and on edge recently. 

 I agree with the other ladies regarding the different things you can try but your comments about other women rang bells with me. I also wonder why everyone else seems to be coping much better than I am but maybe they are struggling but we don't see it?
Back in the summer me and my husband  unexpectedly heard from old friends who happened to be in our part of the country and we were invited out to dinner at short notice. Well of course I panicked and decided that if I was too nervous I wouldn't go. On the day itself I actually felt calm, went along and had a great time. Whilst I was enjoying myself in the restaurant I wondered if other women were looking at me and thinking I was sailing through the menopause without a care in the world not realising that I was just having a good day.

One of the reasons I value this site is because here  we can  let our guard down and know that our concerns will be met with understanding and sound advice.

All I can add is that I hope you feel better soon and sending hugs.

K.

[orchid]

Thank you all for your replies!
I cannot remember now what prof Studd said about my family history of breast cancer...I'm presuming he didn't think it was such an issue as my mother was postmenopause. The Oestrogel was really good for me and I don't think my headaches were any the worse. They weren't at that time migraine with aura, which I very rarely get these days. In fact my headaches had settled all together from June last year to just recently. In my peri days it was menstrual migraine (not before my period)

[Mary G]

Thanks for telling us that orchid.  It doesn't sound as though Professor Studd was worried about your family history of breast cancer otherwise he would not have prescribed the gel.

If your migraines were no worse while you were using the gel, it might be worth having another try with it.  When you say menstrual migraines (not before my period) I assume you mean migraines while you were actually having a period.  I think that still means that the trigger is low oestrogen but others may know more.

My migraines only started when I was in peri menopause and they consist of migraine aura, (disturbed vision) without headache.  The only cause is use of synthetic progestins and to a lesser extent, Utrogestan and I didn't have them before my hormone levels started dropping.  Even taking the pill for years didn't bring them on and that is stuffed full of progestins.  Once I stopped producing enough of my own hormones, the synthetic progestins in the Mirena coil (which I had at the time) overrode my natural hormones which affected the brain receptors hence the migraines.  I never get them if I don't take artificial progesterone. 

Hope that helps.

[CLKD]

Any improvement this evening?