Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[ariadne]

He's back. It turns out his mate suspected it wasn't everything my son had wanted and had decided he would rent it on his own if necessary. He'd been worrying about telling my son in case my son had hoped they would still rent somewhere else together.

So they have agreed that my son can try out staying there for 6 months to see if it suits.

Sigh.......  glad that hurdles been jumped! Few more to go yet though I suspect 😁

Ariadne xx

[Ju Ju]

Ariadne, while this has been a worry, what is wonderful is that your son is able to talk to you.

Both my children are now in their thirties. What I have learnt to do is to relax and trust them to negotiate their way through life. They use me as a sounding board, not a fixer. Sometimes I have fresh insights to put in the mix, sometimes not, but one piece of advice I always give is if you really don't know what to do and it's not life and death, then do nothing. Go and do something else and leave it. Try not to chase the worry. The situation will either resolve itself without your input or the answer will come to you. Don't stress. The situation for your son has clarified. He has choices now. His friendship is intact and he can do what feels right to him. If his choice does not work out, it's all part of life's experience.

[CLKD]

Bet your son never thought that his Mate would be having trouble putting his feelings into words 

This is a learning curve that they can build upon: i.e. honesty and openness!

[Pennyfarthing]

He's back. It turns out his mate suspected it wasn't everything my son had wanted and had decided he would rent it on his own if necessary. He'd been worrying about telling my son in case my son had hoped they would still rent somewhere else together.

So they have agreed that my son can try out staying there for 6 months to see if it suits.

Sigh.......  glad that hurdles been jumped! Few more to go yet though I suspect 😁

Ariadne xx

Did his mate check that the Landlord is doing everything properly? 

[ariadne]

Ju Ju - all very good advice, thank you. He's not much of a talker but I could see how miserable he was so I did encourage the chat - left to his own devices he would probably not have talked to me about it. I tried very hard not to tell him what to do, just present the options as I saw them.  I'm glad he and his friend were able to talk to each other about it - bodes well for the sharing. Like all of us - if something upsets our kids, it upsets us as well and I was much happier when he came home with a more cheerful face    What I did try to get across that was the worrying about it is the worst thing and that it's always best to just tackle the thing whatever it may be, as you feel so much better once you take some action.

PF - I share your concern but I doubt my son's friend will be seeing this as a proper rental seeing that the home-owner is his Dad's partner.  I have mentioned all this to my son and I know that if he does decide to continue after the 6 months, he will want it doing properly because that's how he is - likes everything just so and legal.

[Dorothy]

Glad things have worked out so well.  Here's hoping your son manages to find the right place, whether with his friend or elsewhere.