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[newbeginnings]

Had such a set back today with agonising depression and anxiety. I've been on the hrt for 5 weeks and was beginning to feel better as I haven't had such abad episode since I've started on it. I had all the feelings back of despair and thinking my life is over. I have chronic fatigue and fibro and I've been in a lot of pain in my neck lower back and right hip. We were going to see the Danish girl tonight when he got home but I've had to say were not going.

[Lizab]

I'm so sorry. I am in my 3rd week of hrt, and I am having a down day too. My days seem to alternate between anxious/wired and depressed/sluggish.  It's still early for both of us. Hopefully one day soon we'll have more regular feel good days.

[newbeginnings]

Thank you. This forum is great in its just so helpful to say how I feel

[Lizab]

You're right. And you know what's more? It helps other women to read how you're feeling. Sometimes I feel like I'm complaining too much, but if I hadn't run across other girls' postings in this forum, I would feel so crazy and alone in this stuff. Please keep us posted!

[newbeginnings]

That is so true. I have been so helped by reading other posts.
Just feel like a useless blob. All I've done is walk the dogs twice today and a bit of washing up. So much I want to do round the house plus some creative stuff, but cant bring myself to do it. i'm practicing trying to accept and let time pass as a technique I learnt. To force myself to be positive, I have to admit that the terrible mood did pass off a bit quicker than it woud have done a few months ago.
I also got through today without taking a lorazepam tablet. When I'm down like this it seems impossible to climb out of it but I'm learning fraction of an inch at a time. Its sooooo hard.

[Briony]

Just wanted to say to you both, you're not alone. I bet there are many, many people reading your posts and totally identifying with what you say. I know that's little consolation when you feel so rubbish and 'stop the world, I want to get off', but I hope it helps a bit!

Both of you are in the very early days of your hrt journeys. I'd say that three months is the minimum before you start to feel better, and even then you will have the odd blip. I'd really expected to feel like 'old me' within days and then got really down when I felt nothing was happening ("aghh - what if I am like this forever more?!! What if it's not my hormones?!!"). One thing that does help a little is to remember that it's not you, it's the hormones. (Again, easier said than done when you're drowning in anxiety and feeling like you want a paper bag over your head!).

Really hope you feel better soon xx

[Cwtch]

I completely sympathise. I'm 45 and I've been on HRT Estelle Duet for 10 months. My hot flushes stopped immediately when I started taking HRT but the anxiety & jitters took longer to settle. I kept a record of my emotional swings on my calendar and it seemed to happen monthly varying in duration up to 10 days. I have never suffered from PMT but I think it was extreme PMT symptoms. Anxiety was worse at night and morning and usually eased through the day. I found having a snack, trying mindfulness and meditation exercises, reading self help books on anxiety, forcing myself to rest, talking to friends and doing exercise or anything to distract anxious thoughts have helped. 10 months on the jitters are occurring much less, I am feeling much better and have just switched to Estelle conti so no monthly bleeds.  Hang in there as things will improve and make the most of the times when you are feeling more settled.

[CLKD]

I have had crippling anxiety recently …….. and background 2-day so I know a little of how you feel.

Have a  - my worry is that the depression that affected me in the 1990s will return (long story short) >sigh<

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

I'm another victim of bad day blues and reading this forum has helped as always.

Wishing you all a better day tomorrow. Take care everyone.

K.

[Dorothy]

Hugs to those having bad days.  You are so right though that it helps to read that others are having bad times.  Some people try to encourage me by telling me how they breezed through the change with a couple of minor hot flushes and no worse, but that's the last thing I need to hear, as it makes me think 'what am I doing wrong?'  One of the best things about this forum is knowing you are not the only one going through it.

[coldethyl]

Hope you feel a bit better tomorrow. I've had a good few days - not perfect by any means but liveable with , but I know it can all change so easily these days. My only menopausal friends seem to be sailing through with no issues so it is good to come on here and realise that you are not alone with the crippling anxiety or feeling like you are 49 going on 94. Xx

[Justjules]

Hi. My bad day is today! Have tried not to post for a couple of days for fear of becoming a 'serial moaner'!!  Got to go and stay at my daughters tonight which is only about 5 mins from my house to look after the grandchildren so that's making me extra anxious even though I have done it loads of times but not in this state.  Went to a new hypnotherapist today which was okay but met a friend for coffee but didn't feel great, chest aching and anxious, couldn't wait to leave, called at daughter's but same anxious mess there so made my excuses and left so I could dash home.  I have started the Sertraline but literally talking half a tablet so as to try to avoid side affects. Have one Valium left so panicking as I know can't have anymore.  Terrified now that this is going to make me not want to go out for fear of getting the chest pain and anxiety so feeling very down and anxious. The hypno guy said to try and go for a walk every day but couldn't face it at the moment.  Just want to sit on the sofa in one spot and not move...have done no housework and this is my day I don't work so try to do it all today.  Not sure if it is the ADs doing this or just my stupid brain or obviously my heart.....maybe this isn't anything to do with meno at all but I go on the No More Panic site and it makes me worse.  At least there are some ladies on here that are rationale most of the time and I need to vent.

Jules x

[coldethyl]

Do you think JJ that having further tests would help you? I wouldn't normally suggest this but if you think that you would believe the results and move on then it might be worth pursuing that avenue. I suspect that it wouldn't and that you'd find something else to worry about or you'd think that they'd missed something but only you know how you feel.
You can't sit on the sofa for the rest of your life- all the inactivity and worrying you are doing are just feeding the chest pain... I know mine is worse today because I have my first Cbt session later and am doing all the what ifs- what if it isn't anxiety, what if she can't help and so on. The only thing that is distracting me a bit are the other health things I worry about which tells me it is my head and not my body that is the trouble.
Hopefully the sertraline will kick in soon - it might be worth going back to your GP and explaining that you feel you need some low dose Valium just at the minute to help you through the start up of the anti depressants. I have a few in my bag and just knowing I can if I have to means I haven't bothered these last few weeks. The danger is using them as an escape rather than dealing with the issues that you so clearly need to be working on. Is there a reason you aren't on HRT as hormonal anxiety doesn't always respond to anxiety medication alone.

[Justjules]

That's what the hypno guy said but then I get myself in a state thinking about the tests and the what ifs. He thinks it's all psychosomatic but then he is a psycho nurse and not medical. I think I need to go back to Drs but really don't want to. Hoping that the ADs will kick in and calm me down.  Dr said I am well past meno to be causing any probs.....6 years? Age 59. I just have never had the proper meno conversation I suppose to know whether it's just anxiety or both really.

Thanks. X

[Justjules]

Coldethyl, sorry forgot to say, hope all goes well with the CBT. Would be interested in hearing if it helped.