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[Briony]

I'd never do that, especially if someone has gone to so much bother. At 50 I thought I was going to London & we went to Paris!

I think, when you're a very anxious person,  the anxiety overrides any form of logic. The fear of change, combined with loss of control, can dominate all other emotions.  That's why, on the surface, my reaction to certain surprises may have seemed ungrateful, but the truth was more complex. I know that those who genuinely care for me know me well enough not to put me in a 'surprise' situation as they understand how I'd react and that (with a few exceptions) know  it won't bring me pleasure.

I don't know if that makes any sense? It's hard to explain!  I never used to be like this. It's happened at same time as peri. My partner has learnt that the best way forward with me is 'slow surprises' where I'm given plenty of warning and an element of choice!

[Diamonds and pearls 53]

I can't handle surprises either, I need to know exactly what's planned, well in advance. And am petrified of flying too...even thinking about it makes me feel ill! Has anyone done the 'Flying without Fear' course offered by Virgin? I've thought about it many times but because it involves a short flight at the end haven't been brave enough to try!

[CLKD]

Briony - exactly, well put!

I don't drink  and have never smoked so can't ease worries about being shut in with others …… can't go on trains, into coaches, busy shopping centres (though that isn't as difficult as years ago) - haven't been to The Chelsea Flower Show or Kew Gardens because getting there is a problem 

Would anyone else be OK with John Travolta in a small private plane? 

[littleminnie]

Couldn't you go in your camper and stay nearby CKLD? The journey wouldn't be too long.

[limpy]

The very first time I went flying it was in a four seater Cessna.
This was from a small airport near Birmingham which had a grass strip for a runway.
Went with he who became the current Mr Limpy, the pilot was his chum who'd just got his pilots licence
Trust me, after that big commercial planes are a doddle. 

[ellie]

When my son got his Private pilots licence he took me on a flight , and knowing I was scared of flying he said 'Don't worry Mum I can land this plane in a field if the engine fails '  .....so rarther than enjoying the experience , all I did was look for fields  . 
   We were discussing why I was so afraid of flying, and I said it's more the fear of crashing and the fact that most airline pilots  don't tell us what is going on during the flight for example when there is bad turbulence  or when the plane has to circle for a long time before landing 
   Well he is now an airline captain and talks to the passengers a lot if needs be......telling them exactly what is going on and reassuring  nervous passengers. He said he sometimes mentions me and my fear of flying.....
   Do you ladies think this would be helpful to you.......just that bit of reassurance ? 

[limpy]

Ellie - I think that bit of reassurance would be really helpful especially during turbulence or waiting to land.

[CLKD]

It's the being shut in that I can't handle 

[Joyce]

Which airline ellie. That's the kind of pilot I want on my flights!

My hubby gained his private pilot's licence many years ago. However, it became rather expensive to keep up the flying. He did take the kid's up once. They were excited, I was sick with fear!!! When I protested, I got "Don't you trust me to look after our kids?" Well yes, but.......... I never went up with him.

[Briony]

Bizarrely, my partner is a commercial pilot too. Isn't that odd that so many of us don't enjoy flying yet have close family who do it for a living? He always communicates as much as he is permitted in flight and encourages others to do so too (as he is a trainer). However, this doesn't help my own  fear of being enclosed in a small box with a load of strangers (especially as the nature of our tickets means we often cant sit together).  I'm not actually sure what I think is going to happen to me/the person next door to me - but the whole time I clock-watch and hold my breath!  I'm usually pretty relaxed about him being in the air on a day to day basis (as long as I am not on the plane!) but since the Paris attacks, I've become more anxious again. Has anyone else felt that way? 

[CLKD]

Yep.  If DH is late getting anywhere or arriving home  ….. I've always been the same.

[Dulciana]

I love flying and looking down on big, fluffy white clouds, teeny-tiny little boats on the sea, or countries that you fly over.  I'm actually more of a coward on boats, as I have inherited my gran's fear of water and I don't like swimming (although I can).  Mind you, I must be honest and say that I was glad we'd flown to France and got back before all that happened.....................

[ellie]

Cubagirl he works for Thomas Cook  and loves his job... But I prefer a nice cruise, at least I can swim 
 

[Joyce]

Don't think I could do a cruise, hubby certainly won't. Too much water. 

[littleminnie]

Ellie if your could give us your sons schedule we could book our holidays accordingly.