Most of you know I had great effects from the Accupuncture. However, we can no longer afford it

This week has been awful. Today I have spent in tears (again) most of the day and have the most awful headache that I am on day 3 of now. My mood is appauling, everything is taken to heart and dwelt upon for days, everyone hates me, my self esteem is rock bottom and the mere mention of Christmas is enough to send me into a total rage.
Already have my appointment made for next Wednesday which was just for VA - but now I am thinking the time just might have come for AD's. DH says it is not the answer and will just make me numb, I said I want to be numb I dont want to feel this anymore. Before anyone says it, if I am offered HRT (this time) I will rip her arm off and have that too.
I took Fluxotine for PND and a few years after that, but had no experience of anything else. Do they all come with massive side effects? I need to hear some great success stories please.