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[GypsyRoseLee]

I did really, really well in my first month of Gederal. Felt great. But within 2 days of my withdrawal break all the depression and anxiety was back. Nasty stuff. So I quickly re started the Gederal. That was 12 days and my symptoms are still here and feel like they're getting worse.

I only feel better during the late evening. Last night was the worst yet. I felt okayish from about 10pm, and felt sleepy. I took my Pill at bedtime and within 30 mins I felt so anxious again, heart racing, felt really panicky. Only got a couple of hours sleep.

Have been awake since before 6am feeling dreadful, and broke down in tears to DH earlier. I haven't felt this awful for a long time.

I don't know what to do? I feel scared to take another Gederal. I still have lots of 50mg Estradot patches. I don't know whether to stop Gederal and wear 2 x patches or a patch and a half, until I see my consultant in 3 weeks?

Or go to my GP tmrw and beg for ADs?

I am lost as to where to turn? Please help me decide.

[dazned]

  

I know how awful that feeling is, felt I like that Feb time,as for helping you decide can't help much only you know what you feel like and what your body responds to.
In Feb I was so desperate with anxiety,palpitations etc I chose to take an AD alongside my hrt which worked for me,now I'm about to stop hrt. We are all different so you must choose what you think will help you . Hope you get settled soon.

[Joyce]

GRL if it were me I'd speak to GP, appointment or phone call. Not good to feel like that. The worse you feel the more the anxiety. 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you both. I need those kind words today.

Dazned, can I ask how long you'd had hormonal anxiety for and did it come and go like mine? What AD did you decide to take?

[Chi chi]

Oh no  Can't you call your consultant? You can't carry on like that for another 3 weeks.
I'm just thinking out loud here, and I know I'm prob guilty of this but do you think maybe when you had the break and you felt bad you focused on it maybe a little too much and made things worse? I do the same, every little thought or pain it dizzy spell I think oh no here we go again 
I would send you a massive hug but my smilies aren't working properly x

[GypsyRoseLee]

I don't think so Chi Chi, because once or twice I have had a few hours of feeling like I'm getting back to normal and I've relaxed and thought 'Oh good, I'm getting better again like I always do' but then it's petered out and I sink back down.again.

The only reason I can think of is that I am reacting to the progesterone, and it's making me feel like this. But I don't understand why it didn't affect me this way in the first month?

[Chi chi]

Maybe a build up of it? It's still so much of a mystery to me too, I would def try and speak to your consultant before making any rash decisions x

[GypsyRoseLee]

I agree, I think it's probably a build up of progesterone. I can't speak to my consultant, I am not a private patient of her's. I just go to the clinic she has at a NHS hospital locally.

[Chi chi]

I've been topping up my Qlaira with 1 pump of Oestrogel a day, at our appointment she did say use 2 pumps, I don't know if that would be an option for you? Maybe that's why I'm not as bad as I was on Yaz as I wasn't using any extra Oestrogel?? Maybe the extra oestrogen is offsetting the progesterone? Again I'm just guessing.
What about emailing Dr Currie on here for her advice?

[Kathleen]

Hello GypsyRoseLee.

Sorry to hear that you are struggling again. I have no answers for you but I hope your forthcoming appointments can throw some light on what is going on.

Wishing you well and sending hugs.

K.

[Hurdity]

I am sorry I can't help you GypsyRoseLee as I don't know anything about the contraceptive pill - except that you are swapping the fluctuations of peri-menopause for very high doses of synthetic progestogens - so as you say - it could be building up - and when you have the break you will be getting a drop - in oestrogen and progestogen before increasing again so if you are especially sensitive to changes in hormone levels, then perhaps this is what's happening?

I can't remember what your dose was when you were on oestrogen and utrogestan and whether you can tolerate utrogestan? Were your periods still fairly regular? Has anyone suggested only taking oestrogen and progesterone for 2 weeks out of four, or taking a higher dose during the two week dip? The problem with this I imagine would be working out where your peak oestrogen was as your cycle gets weaker - and then you would want to take oestrogen all the time. This is probably not possible but was wondering how you could even out your hormones, still get a bleed and perhaps not react to the progestogen - or a higher dose of oestrogen all the time and take utrogestan all the time ( if you can tolerate it)? Oh dear thinking aloud again and probably sounding confusing!!

Yes maybe an e-mail consultation with Dr Currie might be the way to go?

Hurdity x 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you.

I tried to email Dr Currie earlier but the service is closed for a month, until Dec 2nd.

I can only think I am reacting to the high progesterone.

Hurdity, I was originally on 25mg with 200mg Utro on days 15-28, which did very little then increased to 50mg Estradot which made me feel a bit better but I think the patch needed to be stronger. I was okay with the Utro days. My periods were very light but pretty regular.

I am 99% decided not to take anymore Gederal. And I'm wondering whether to experiment with applying a 75mg patch to see how that makes me feel.over the next few days, then at least I would know that I can't tolerate the high progesterone in the BCP.

I think.I need the high oestrogen but I think the high progesterone is negating the benefits of it.

[Briony]

So sorry to read this, especially since your first month looked so promising.

I've not posted much lately as I've been feeling rough (think it is possibly a bug as lots of colleagues have nasty viruses presently). I'd intended to say more about my conversation with my GP re Marvelon and also what colleagues who take it said when I explained how I was feeling on Friday.

Nearly everyone else - all younger - started this with 'well behaved' hormones, yet still took a couple of months to settle down . One said she was on it for six months and felt dreadful (emotionally) but now fifteen years on, she'd be lost without it. She never once considered stopping - which astonished me.  It made me realise that we are already starting from a vulnerable point, so are almost anticipating side effects. We have that 'here we go again' feeling that others just don't know. Does that make sense?

I do think, much though we wanted more estrogen, the massive increase in dose has been a little too much too soon for us. I know Marvelon has the same amount as Microgynon, but it's so much more estrogenic that it would make sense that - temporarily - we are struggling with the sudden increase and then withdrawl before yet another high dose. I wonder how we'd have been with Mercilon instead?

My doctor did say that she thinks, as we get to the stage we are at, isn't not the menopause per se that's causing problems but our bodies' reactions to any changes in levels, a bit like hyper PMS.  She said that's why a Mirena plus patch is potentially the best choice (though I still couldn't be convinced as I'm too squeamish!).

Given that you already know your symptoms are cyclical, I'd only consider  ADs to supplement whatever hormonal treatment you decide to use.  Otherwise, you're treating the symptoms rather than the cause?   Studd's website has some interesting info on hormonal depression. If you can, hang in there til you see your consultant (easier said than done .... you kept up the Marvelon longer than I've managed!) as otherwise, you won't know if how you feel  is a side effect of the new AD , symptoms of your hormone issues or a new side effect of what he/she may prescribe?

Switching to the patches makes sense, rather than going cold turkey. Do you have any Utro?

[Briony]

I've been topping up my Qlaira with 1 pump of Oestrogel a day, at our appointment she did say use 2 pumps, I don't know if that would be an option for you? Maybe that's why I'm not as bad as I was on Yaz as I wasn't using any extra Oestrogel?? Maybe the extra oestrogen is offsetting the progesterone? Again I'm just guessing.
What about emailing Dr Currie on here for her advice?

My guess is that, even with topping up with gel, you're still having a fair bit less estrogen with Qlaira than you were with Yaz. The reason for this is that yaz has a synthetic estrogen. I read somewhere, dose for dose, synthetic estrogen (like in Yaz) is 3-4 times stronger than the more  natural estrogen  in Qlaira.

I'm really surprised by how weird I've felt with so much more estrogen. I think it shows how much my body has got used to minimal levels (41 pmol when last measured). A real shock to my system. First time I've really felt 'I'm scared and I hate this'.  Qlaira, on the other hand, hardly affected me. There was never a 'help' moment like there was with Marvelon.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Briony. How are you getting on with a few days of high patches and Utro?

What you say makes a lot of sense. I think I would be okay tolerating the higher oestrogen level, but I think I just can't hack the high progesterone. I wonder if this caused my skin rash too?

I have decided to not risk taking anymore Gederal. Instead I am now wearing 75mg patch. I don't have any Utro but I can go and get some from my GP. But I think I should experiment to see how I feel on a 75mg patch for the next 3 weeks until I see my consultant.

At least then I can tell her how I have felt on just a higher patch. I .starting to feel slighter better and less anxious now. But don't know if that's because it's been nearly 24 hours since I took Gederal, and therefore nearly 24 hours since I had any progesterone? I wonder if this is the reason I have felt better later in the evening these last few days because it's been a while since having any progesterone?

I think it will be telling how I feel over the next few days on just oestrogen and no progesterone. As you say, I was scared to just go cold turkey and not have any hormones until I see my consultant in 3 weeks.