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[babyjane]

Hello friends, I have come back to the forum with apologies to Honeybun who advised me to rest my account instead of deleting it, but I was never very good at taking advice.

I was in a bad place and everything seemed negative and I wanted to run away and hide.  I didn't feel good at all so I went to ground and didn't communicate with anyone, not even my husband and children properly. My son and daughter expressed love and concern and to cut a long story short I went to speak to the doctor and am being treated for anxiety and depression.  I didn't even know I was depressed till I began to improve, but I knew I suffered with anxiety and it had become a problem over the last year.

The last 4 weeks on treatment have not been easy due to side effects but I persevered and am starting to function again and feel a bit better.  Whilst my account was closed I visited and read some posts which helped me adjust to the medication - I have Citalopram and Propranolol in small doses and I am starting to feel on more even keel.

This problem is not caused just by menopause as I am post menopause and getting over the worst of it.  It is something that has been in me for a lifetime but the menopause and a stressful event last year tipped it over the edge until it became a real physical problem for me.  The medication is not a cure I realise that, but it is helping me to function and I have also been referred for CBT in 4 - 6 weeks.

Well that's me, warts and all and no longer trying to be something I am not.  Thank you to the admin for having me back and I look forward to catching up with you all again.

Jane x

[CLKD]

   so pleased that the break has helped!  Make sure that you visit your GP regularly and be honest in how you are feeling.  I take Propranolo and an AD which helps.

Are you getting support regarding the botheration in your Life?  If you can there is Private Lives for sharing or you can send me a PM.

I also found journalling helped: vent, vent, vent - out of my head and away 

[Hurdity]

Welcome back babyjane.

So sorry to hear about your depression and that this has been lifelong but glad you are feeling better.

I think many people at some point in their lives try to be something that they're not but usually this recedes with age - and that definitely makes for being more at peace with oneself! 

Hurdity x

[Dancinggirl]

My thoughts are with babyjane - having struggled with bad bouts of depression myself I can understand your struggle but as the saying goes "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"  CBT really helped me and I now practice Mindful Meditation which can be beneficial. You are doing all the right things so I believe you will have a positive outcome.  DG xxx

[babyjane]

thank you very much for replying so quickly.  Your support and positive encouragement are very welcome but I don't want to dwell on things too much.  Emma has very kindly restored all my old posts so I am now off to see what has been happening in my absence :-)

 

[Milamam]

Welcome back, babyjane! You were missed, I am happy you've decided to come back.
I am on a small dose Citalopram since the start of meno, and I think it is a wonderful drug. Works for me very well. I intend to stay on it (10mg daily) until perimeno is over.

I hope you will continue to improve in a the coming weeks!

Milanam

[Joyce]

Hi-de-hi bj.

Glad you are feeling better again.

[Claireylou]

Welcome back babyjane, you were missed 

[babyjane]

thank you Milamam, you are very kind.  I am on 5mg (half a tablet) at the moment but can increase to 10 if I need to.  the side effects were a bit pants but they are settling down a little now and I will see how I go. It does make me constipated though which is not good news for my IBS and haemorrhoids.

I do find I need the low dose propranolol for the anxiety though, the Citalopram on its own was not sufficient and the anxiety increased when I first started taking it.

Thanks also cubagirl and Claireylou.  thanks everyone xxxxx  (can't get smileys to work)

[honeybun]

Welcome back BJ.

Nice to have you with us again.


Honeybun
X

[CLKD]

Constipation can be eased with various 'additions' i.e. drink 'enough', add fruits/veg to your diet gradually; I found that Actimel several times a day (3+ pots) helped soften my stools and the bowel felt less full.

I was taking 80mg at night initially 

[Milamam]

BJ, Citalopram 5 mg is a very low dose, so you shouldn't be worried. Even if you have to go up to 10 mg, it is still a low dose. When peri meno started, I was initially put on 10mg, then in a month incearse to 20mg as these was no effect on my anxiety. Didn't know at the time I also needed hormones! A year later I was stared on HRT  and this summer gradually went down to 10 mg again. Intend to stay as is now  for a while ( if ain't broken don't brake it ...😊).

What does Citalopram do for me : I do sleep better , and have not had a full blown flush yet (I hope I won't). It makes me less reactive to different emotions ( was OVERreactive before), and helps me stay generaly calm and composed despite stress, if I can put it that way. It is not a sedative drug, so it may increase your anxiety initially before your body adjusts to the new serotonin  levels. Serotonin affects the gut in a big way as well, that is why you may suffer with constipation or vice versa (I didn't see any adverse effect). I am sure these inconveniences will pass soon. Just try and persevere for a bit longer to see the full effects.


Hope all this is helpful! There are so many experienced women here who will also give you good advice, I sm sure!

Milamam

[babyjane]

Milamam thank you very much.  I did increase to 10mg after 2 weeks as suggested by my doctor but the side effects were too much so I went back to 5mg and things have levelled out a bit again.  I am super sensitive to drugs (and alcohol) and usually have to take half the recommended lowest dose to begin with until my body gets the message.  I find that my mind is over reacting less and I am losing the 'what if' syndrome that plagued me, so even if 5mg is low it is doing something and along with the low dose Propranolol I am feeling better.  I prefer to start really low then I can work up.  I don't want more in my system than I actually need.

Regarding your advice CLKD, thank you very much but all those things are a part of my normal life anyway as constipation was a big thing for me when my thyroid stopped working.  Lactulose helps and an occasional senna tablet.  The benefits I am starting to see are worth it if I can keep it under control.

[CLKD]

That's good - little steps  .

[Kathleen]

Hello babyjane.

Good to have you with us again. It sounds as if you are dong all the right things and can therefore expect the right result!

Wishing you well and hope to speak again soon.

K.