Welcome bracken
Yes, I completely recognise what you describe. I was only just 43 when I started with inexplicable anxiety, extreme mood swings, deep depression which came and went with the moon, tearfulness and sometimes overwhelming feelings of panic. Then all my symptoms would disappear overnight for several days, if not a couple of weeks. I once went a whole 5 weeks totally symptom free and foolishly assumed I was cured, until it all swooped back just as bad as before.
I thought I was having a breakdown. I spent 7 months on ADs but they did little for me. This was because I desperately needed hormones not ADs.
I experimented with HRT, but although it helped a bit it just wasn't powerful enough. At our age we usually need far heavier doses of hormones than fellow lady sufferers in their 50s and 60s.
With the wonderful advice and support from the ladies on here, especially Briony, I swapped to taking the combined Pill 6 weeks ago and it seems to be working much better for me. I still have a few down days, but I can cope with them better and overall my mood is more positive and I feel stronger emotionally.
It might be worth seeking out a specialist? My consultant told me she was very concerned at the level of women in their 40s taking ADs for anxiety/depression when really they need hormone therapy.