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[Bo Snow]

I've started to wonder where I left the old me, I know it's somewhere, just forgotten where I left it...

I went back to see the practice nurse on Tuesday, had never seen her before so was dreading the usual condescending lecture about how it's a natural process blah blah blah... surprisingly she was lovely and so understanding. I'd come off Tibolone (after18 months due to bad side effects). Came off it too soon and now have all my old symptoms only worse. She's prescribed Citalopram rather than more hrt and i'll give anything a go to be honest.

I was off work for three days went back today - lasted an hour until my ultra understanding manager asked me how I was and what my symptoms were like, I then promptly burst into tears... (he knows what my symptoms are like now) and he told me to go home again. I've NEVER been like this before. Within an hour I can swing between about six different moods. I don't yell at my family (thankfully) and my husband is brilliant but I just feel totally lost. I can't start the anti d's for a while cos i'm going away and if there are side effects it's better for me to be close to home.
Feel i'm clinging to a small bit of wood in a very big sea...please rescue me!!!   

[SadLynda]

   If you find her can you see if she has 'me' with her too?

I only went to see my practice nurse this week and have to wait for all my blood tests first before being prescribed anything.  Today is a bleak one for me too.

Wonder if this weather is affecting us all, in my area storms are forecast (and that is just the weather), I just asked DH if he had a 'funny head' too or was it me? but he has it too so it is the weather.

You are deffo not alone with these feelings, and I wish I could rescue you x

[Dancinggirl]

Hi Bo Snow - I've been seeing a gynae privately as I'm 59 and the GPs are not keen to let me stay on HRT.
You don't say how old you are but if you are still in your early-mid 50s HRT would be your best option.  Tibolone can be good for many women but there are many different HRTs to try and it's usually about trial and error till you find something that suits you.  Having said this the gynae I'm seeing did say that if I don't find an HRT I like that he recommends Citalopram as a good SRRI to try to relieve meno symptoms.  The problem again is that it can be a bit of trial and error till you find an SRRI/AD that reduces the meno symptoms.  Of cause SRRIs won't give the benefits of HRT in terms of preventing bone loss, heart disease, bowel cancer and bladder problems but I know many women do find them helpful.
Like all ADs/SRRIs, I understand Citalopram can give some nasty side effects initially so it can take 2-4 weeks before things settle and you start to feel some benefit so I'd give this a go, be patient and see if it helps.
Keep us posted.  DG x
PS I did a thread about the current humid weather - it's really bad right now and making us all suffer whether on HRT or not. Last year when I wasn't on HRT I got in a very bad state when it was humid, I had to sit with my feet in water and ice cubes - I'm coping better now with HRT.

[Sarai]

Bo Snow I under stand your words entirely. I keep wondering where the old me is. She was here back in January, she must have been kidnapped, though nobody would pay a ransom for me right now.
I used to be capable, useful. etc etc Now I'm so tired as soon as I wake, too tired to do anything to make me feel better, which makes me tearful. Near daily headaches, back pain, anxiety, misery, this is so not funny. I had my last period 6 weeks ago after a 4 month gap (where I thought I was on the home run) now I keep thinking at least another year, I cant last a year feeling like this, it horrid.

[lyn]

I completely understand how you all feel. I have gone from shortness of breath back in May, to full blown anxiety to the point where I have not been to work for 3 weeks.
I am a nurse educator and the thought of standing up in front of the class teaching is now scaring me witless. I have been teaching for 20 years so I feel really bad. As you say...where is the real me? The confident person in control has been replaced by a quivering heap of anxiety.
 Believe it or not, the anxiety began after the dentist had to give me 5 injections of local anaesthetic with adrenaline to numb a tooth for a crown! my GP says he has heard of cases where the adrenaline in local anaesthetic can set off anxiety. Whether this was the cause or not, does not matter. I have really been through the mill in order to find relief from this:
 I saw a doctor of chinese medicine who acupunctured my neck and asked me all sorts of questions such as, what did I dream about? The acupuncture fixed my stiff neck but otherwise I was unchanged. As this bloke was charging me way over the schedule fee for services, I stopped seeing him.
 I then saw my GP who put me on cymbalta. One tablet and I went crazy! My cluster headaches began again (and I am not in the cluster cycle just now) and I couldn't think straight. Quickly decided these weren't for me and saw a naturopath. She gave me magnesium and a herbal mixture which took the edge off the adrenaline surges but today I feel dreadful again. Is it the thought of returning to work tomorrow? I have oodles of sick leave owing to me (as I never get sick) but can't help feeling I am letting down my colleagues by being absent for 3 weeks already...someone else has to take my classes and this adds to my anxiety. What do I do? Take another week off and hope it all settles or force myself to go to work tomorrow?
I am also seeing a psychologist who is very nice but does not tell me anything I don't know already!

[CLKD]

It's 'the change' so you are un-likely to find the 'old you'.  Live for the now, try not to look too far ahead and don't take on too much!  Listen to your body, hormones can take over and leave a person feeling bbleurghhhh 

Have a browse round.  Keep asking, there's usually someone here to listen