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[Sarai]

How sorry can we feel for ourselves? A large part of everyday I want to cry or do cry.
I'm sitting in Sainsburys car park having collected my vagifem, crying.
What have I become? This time last year I was happy, content, able to easily help my daughter, now I'm a wreck.
My hubby has been so good, I've had so much happen this year to my body but I'm dragging him down I know I am. We work at home together so I moan at him nearly all day. I force myself to get out every day, just an hour, but often I feel overwhelmed, like the world has got just too loud and busy.
Time to stop moaning or I could cry all day

[Galadriel]

[dazned]

It's horribre isn't it ,truly empathize with you


 

[dahliagirl]

Hi - You have been to the doctor, and collected your prescription.  It is probably because you have been under pressure about it and that has lifted now - leaving you free to sit and cry in the car park 

It is a lot when you are dealing with all the other meno stuff

Don't be too hard on yourself. <cup of tea and hug>  You have achieved today's goal.

[Sarai]

Yes I cashed the prescription and thats why I was crying, I'm such a mess and now feel a failure having given in to getting this hrt. Plus I'm always scared of side effects from anything.

[dahliagirl]

I cried my eyes out after dumping a boyfriend when I was 19.

Things had gone downhill (if they had ever been up - it was always a dead in the water 'relationship'). I had spent the previous week (or more) hiding from him in the university library and generally being unavailable, but he did not get the message.  I had to tell it to him straight, and even then it was a shock to him.  He went (taking the stuff he had moved into my room  ) , and instead of punching the air and dancing round the room, I sat and bawled my eyes out.    I think it was just the stress.  It was very strange.

I hope the vagifem helps.  It is not as scary as the leaflet makes out.  At a recent menopause conference it was reported that one whole year of vagifem was equivalent to one hrt tablet.  Good luck.

(PS - tell me what worked for you diet wise for constipation on the other thread.  I have just eaten a whole packet of crisps and will be regretting it tomorrow  )

[Kathleen]

Hello Sarai and so sorry that you are suffering.

I know it's small comfort but many women here know exactly how you feel and how difficult this time in our lives can be. I think a lot of us also feel overwhelmed by the changes that we are going through and guilty that the things we used to do so easily now seem too difficult or even impossible.

I have a friend who tells me she often feels sad and cries daily whereas I get the jitters and feel on edge. Whenever we meet we compare notes as it helps us both to feel less alone in our struggles.

I also complain to my husband constantly but he has learned that it is part of the menopause and knows it isn't personal, hopefully your husband feels the same.

Feel free to moan here any time, you are not alone and support is just a click away.

Wishing you well and take care.

K.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Bless you. You haven't given in by getting HRT. You don't 'give in' by getting medication for diabetes or a stomach ulcer or a kidney infection, do you?

There are no medals given out for enduring night sweats or a constantly painful and sore vagina, or unbearably aching joints.

And even if there were medals I certainly wouldn't want one, because I am not a masochist.

[SadLynda]

Big  to you from me too.  I think my car might need waterproofing inside the amount of tears it see's so you are NOT alone in this.  You are not feeling sorry for yourself at all, its these darn hormones that have this effect, I know I almost got cross with myself today as I loath self pity, but this is not such a thing at all.

Just think, what a good job it is that men don't get all this to deal with.  But then, I bet it would be more talked about.. or would it?

Do you have a friend you can meet up with? I did that today and I feel 100% better for it.

Meanwhile more hugs, and try think how much better you are going to feel when that vagifem kicks in, hoping I will be prescribed some soon. x

[dahliagirl]

It is difficult.  At a time when you are supposed to have got life sorted and know what you are about, you get menopause thrown at you with all its unknowns.  I feel as clueless as my 19 year old self that could not dump a useless boyfriend, in some respects.

Then you are told it is wrong to use hrt and it is wrong to not use hrt and it is  will give you cancer etc etc etc, when your head is suffering from fog, and you can't string words together properly or remember anyone's name.

I'll get a cup of tea......... 

[Kathleen]

Hello again ladies and well said GypsyRoseLee.

When my son was sixteen he had his appendix out and was told to always ask for pain relief as there were no medals for suffering unnecessarily. He took the tablets, felt much better and recovered well.

I think the advice given to him can easily apply to us as well.

Sarai - You may find that you only need a little HRT for a short time and that your menopause problems will quickly resolve in which case all you've done is help yourself through a bad patch, a bit like my son and his post op meds!

I truly hope you feel better soon.

K.

[Sarai]

With regards a to meeting up with friends. I seem to have all seriously post meno friends. All are a good 10 years older than me. All have a very rose tinted memory of theirs. ' oh I took HRT for a bit, then didn't need it, no I never suffered what you are' they say.
Only last year I was happy, not hormonal, helping my DD with her 3 boys, running a business. Now the noise of the supermarket makes me wNt to run out. I can't make decisions and frankly I don't want to, I don't care about anything. I long for bed as soon as I open my eyes.
I was every bodies problem solver, now look at me. What a joke

[GypsyRoseLee]

Oh you poor thing. I know exactly how you feel. Two years ago I was a very happy go lucky, quite assertive woman with a reputation for being Mrs Fixer.

Out of the blue peri menopause arrived and wreaked my life. Overnight I became anxious about everything and anything. Couldn't even bear to make a simple phone call and dreaded going into work (previously loved my job).

I was sobbing quietly into a towel in the bathroom so no one would bear me. I was waking poor DH in the night because I felt so scarily low and desperate. I became someone else.

[Taz2]

I think that you are being very hard on yourself Sarai. As well as menopause symptoms you are having to cope with your blood disorder which, I'm sure, doesn't make you feel great. Are you still taking your antidepressants? Could it be that a different one would suit you if so? You do sound very low. We are all here for you.

I'm sure that the vagifem will help and at least if you are more comfy that will be one thing less. I believe from your past posts that you have also got Sjogren's Syndrome and this wont help with the dryness either so you have a double whammy effect. Please don't feel that using any type of HRT product is "giving in". You need to take what help is available.

Taz x 

[SadLynda]

Sarai, I cant stand the noise of the supermarket either.  I got DH to put music on my phone, got myself some headphones and I can now shop in peace with soothing music in my own little world, worked a treat.