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[warwick01]

Hi - went to my GP (who is lovely) and just completely broke down. I was in floods of tears. She was lovely and offered what help she could. However I think I'm at the point of despair. I have tried so many different types of HRT, AD make me so sick. I am so depressed I am in tears writing this email.

I am suffering extreme anxiety, scary thoughts, will not go out, my stomach churns from wakening in the morning, more importantly this off balance feeling that scares me. I am so agitated and tense it's unbelievable. It feels like a nervous breakdown. She asked me if I had told anyone how I was feeling?? but NO not even my DH. She wants me to go back on Friday with him for a chat. 

I am still using 3/4 pumps of gel but I don't think it's working. She has taken some bloods this morning, hopeully that may show something. I also take thyroxine.

I am so scared right now of what may happen!

Thanks for listening, your the only friends I have Wx

[Greyhoundgal]

Hi Warwick10, sounds as if you've made the first small step in talking to your GP    And it's good that she wants to see you with your DH as well, he must have some idea that things aren't great with you?  Try not to get too worked up before Friday if you can and in the meantime.........

[Joyce]

 

You've done the right thing in going to see your GP!  Good idea to go back with your DH. He'll be there for support & be a second set of ears for information you might miss. Try not to worry though. Your GP will set things in motion with regards help. Let us know how it goes.

[Annie0710]

Bless your heart, I really hope your visit with hubby on Friday gets something sorted

You're not going mad, your hormones are, remember that

Have you tweaked dosages as opposed to trying different ones ?
I have changed a few times recently hoping that's the answer but it wasn't, so now I'm tweaking patch sizes/strengths to see what I feel best on

Keep talking, there's always someone here to listen

Annie xx

[warwick01]

Thank you all for the kind words!!

I just can't stop crying today, possibly a bit of relief at talking to my lovely GP. I am going to sit down with my DH tonight and tell him I am feeling. Yes he knows something is not right with me as I keep making excuses not to go out. I gave up my job several months ago and I have avoided meeting up with my old pals.

If only the off balance feeling (like walking on a boat) would stop I think I could get through this. The Gyne doctor says there is no connection to meno yet it is listed under 34 related symptoms...... I'm so confussed

At 56 I would have thought I would be through the worst. I really hope the blood test show something to work with.

Thank you so much for just being there and understanding Wxxx

[SadLynda]

Poor you.  Sounds like you have a good GP though, willing to listen and help out with DH too, I know mine just does not 'get it' at all.

I do hope you can find something to make you feel better soon.  I know at my worst I can cry for days and its horrid, also feel there is nobody to talk too when like this.

Try get out in the better weather if you can, I'm told it helps - warm and sunny with me today.

take care and stick around, we understand x

[Dyan]

Warwick01

I understand what you are going through in relation to the extreme anxiety,scary thoughts & depression. I've been there myself.
You have taken the first step in visiting your GP who sounds really good.
Once you have talked to your DH that will be another weight off your mind and then Friday will soon be here.
Thinking of you.
We are all here for you. X

[Kathleen]

Hello warwick01 and so sorry to read that you are suffering.

Like many ladies I have been where you are and feared I was having a breakdown so I do sympathise.

I wonder if the off balance feeling is linked to your thyroid and a review of your meds may be needed. A friend of mine needed several changes to her thyroxine dosage while going through the menopause and I think some ladies on the forum have have also had problems.
It is also possible that you have an infection or an inflammatory condition such as Labyrnthitis  which causes balance problems ( I had this five years ago and I literally couldn't walk straight, it was like being on board ship and was treated with steroids ).

I'm sure your blood tests will reveal any such problems and you are fortunate that you have a proactive GP.

Take care warwick, my heart goes out to you and I hope you turn a corner soon.

Wishing you well and keep posting.

K.

[ellie]

Hi Warwick, if it's any help I have been there to and it's horrid.....as for the off balance, mine was an inner ear infection, and that soon got sorted......I wonder how many of the ladies on here have NOT  been in floods of tears?   I know I have.......grrrrrr hormones have a lot to answer for.
     For you and I hope you soon feel better  ...

[CLKD]

Sometimes I get a woozy sudden feeling like I'm going to fall but it's probably due to a nerve in the back of my neck.  Maybe an X-ray of your cervical spine might be in order, or do some gentle neck movements whilst sitting down and see if the feeling is re-produced?

Anxiety is the PITS  - it's background with me at the moment which makes doing anything outside of the house/garden a real challenge.  Ask your GP if you could have Valium or another type of anti-anxiety med on an as-necessary basis: maybe take it for 2/3 days x 3 and see what reaction you get, it should calm you.  Then you can use it when anxiety is going to be a problem, i.e. before an event.  Or if you feel anxious in the day to knock the feelings on the head.

Let us know how you get on!

[TropicalVon69]

Hi Warwick, you have my understanding too....felt such a wave of doom and despair this morning, it will get better xxx

[dazned]

You may find it is your thyroxine which apparently is effected by estrogen ! It's all complicated stuff but my friend on hrt and thyroxine is always having to tweak her thyroxine dose because of this ! She did explain it and I looked it up at the time but I forgot it exactly now    could be what's happening with you.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Warwick. I am so sorry you are going through this.

I completely understand what you mean when you talk about feeing so depressed and despairing. I get episodes of this regularly and find them soul destroying and also very frightening. During these awful episodes I also battle anxiety which stops me wanting to go anywhere 'new' or do anything 'new'. Even doing familiar stuff feels overwhelming and frightening.

The only other time  have suffered symptoms like this was when I had post natal depression so I know my hormones are causing my problems. Would it help you to tell yourself that it isn't YOU who is causing these feelings, it is your hormones causing them. You, your brain, sense of self, personality (whatever you want to call it) is still just as it always was. There's nothing 'wrong' with it. It's just that your hormones are causing chemical reactions in your brain.

Please try and talk openly to your DH. When I finally confessed to my DH how dreadfully low and anxious I was feeling it felt like a huge weight had lifted off my chest. It really helped me to not feel so alone anymore.

[Greenfields]

Hi Warwick

Just wanted to send a big hug and let you know you are not alone xxxx

I had severe anxiety before my breakdown in March which was meno related - my hormones had got all out of whack.  It was really horrible as it felt like my nervous system was on high alert all the time and I couldn't switch it off - I had constant dry mouth and in a state of fear. 

I'm getting better.  And you will too.

Sharing your feelings with the GP and your partner will help.

Get your thyroid levels tested as they may definitely be throwing things out.

The HRT that helped me was Evorel patches (I'm on Evorel 50) and 100mg Utrogestan which I take for around 26 days a month I think.

Exercise has helped me (I got a GP exercise referral form for the sports centre).

Also relaxation exercises.

I also see a therapist and I'm really careful with my diet. I did have CBT by phone (it's called ITalk) but I didn't find that as helpful so I am seeing a therapist privately though it costs more.

I've been reading accounts of people recovering from nervous breakdown which has helped too.  Two books I've read which I found helpful are : Black Rainbow by Rachel Kelly and Depressive Illness the curse of the strong by Dr Tim Cantopher. I've also read Sally Brampton's account of her depression which is called Shoot the damn dog - but I liked the book by Rachel Kelly more.

Sending lots of love and hugs xxx

[Unhinged]

Hi Warwick, so sorry to hear it's become worse, but opening up to your doctor, and now especially to your DH is a good thing.
Please don't feel like you're on your own in this, you mentioned thinking that at 56 you thought you would be through the worst, just to say that I am 54 and over 4 years without a period but this terrible anxiety is one of the newer symptoms - I too thought I'd be through the worst by now.

I had a particularly bad few days a couple of weeks ago, and I really thought I was on the edge of a breakdown, I still have the anxiety of course, but that feeling of hanging off a dark abyss by my fingertips has subsided for now. Yours will too, we will get through this. I know ADs don't agree with you, but what about a beta blocker or something stronger for those really bad times? I have beta blockers now to use 'as required' rather than daily, haven't taken one yet, but it helps to know they're there. 

Hang on in there Warwick xx