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[Greenfields]

I feel like I'm going off my head, I spend hours on the internet looking at symptoms of everything and I've always got some of the symptoms, I'm never happy nothing excites me, my family don't understand, I was driving home from work and I just felt like disappearing xx

You are posting in the right place. I had a breakdown in March and it was, in part, menopause related in combination with some very stressful events.  Some of the symptoms I had included anxiety that was off the wall and also anhedonia (the inability to feel pleasure).  I would encourage you to get checked out for depression and get some help sooner rather than later if you can (I hope you find one decent Dr in the practice you are in - if not see if you can find another practice - this was something I had to do as I had very bad medical care at one practice).  One of the things I learnt after my breakdown is that there are oestrogen and progesterone receptors in the brain - so when menopausal hormones get out of whack, it affects everything including how we emotionally feel.  In my case I completely lost the ability to make decisions as well.

Re: the lump in the throat - there is something called globulus hystericus which occurs as a result of anxiety - I've just been reading Sally Brampton's account of her depression (shoot the damn dog) and she had that symptom.

Before all this happened to me, I always thought that depression just meant being really really sad and gloomy - but it doesn't.  And a nervous breakdown is now classed as a depressive episode under the DSM (which is the manual psychiatrists use to diagnose).

Sending hugs xx

[Unhinged]

Sparkle: Ah, so I can see how gallbladder can get muddled in with hernia and GORD, some of the symptoms are similar.

Crikey, no, no way can I eat peppermint or drink mint tea, the acid is hitting the ceiling on that. I do find ginger tea helps though, and I love it. When I'm coughing (like now), the thing that eases it a little is sipping hot water or putting Vicks on my chest and throat, and also ......

I hope you won't think I'm completely mad, but there is something else that can stop a cough when it's tickling persistently and this is to rub Vicks into the soles of your feet when you go to bed, honestly, I read it online and thought, 'Yeah right, nice try .... I ain't that stupid', but it does work, don't ask me how or why, no-one seems to know. If I'm bringing up a lot of mucus it doesn't stop that, but if  like me you sometimes get that dry unproductive tickly cough, it does. x

[Unhinged]

Yeah Sparkle, completely pee'd off with it! Do give it a try, let me know if it works for you too! x

[Lynda07]

Greenfields - anhedonia - I'd never heard of it but so glad you mentioned it as it sums up how I feel and have for at least a year. I live in Norfolk, enjoy lots of beautiful walks with my dogs, have a lot to be thankful for but I just can't feel pleasure in anything, my life, hobbies, beautiful things, music - I was only thinking last night it's like someone has switched that switch off inside of me. I don't feel depressed but there is a marked lack of me ever feeling pleasure I don't feel miserable, just don't feel lifted.

[dazned]

My mum told me years ago about Vicks on the soles of your feet,I too thought she was stark raving mad but as usual Mums know best ,she was right.       

[CLKD]

Norfolk people can be stand offish  - one isn't welcome until 1 has great grandchildren going through school 

However: Lynda07 - this may be depression.  Do you feel better after your dog walks?  I found when meeting people briefly that my mood lifted, because it was a boost to my adrenaline. 

[Lynda07]

CLKD - they will be waiting a long time for me then as I have no kids lol.

I don't feel much different after a dog walk no - and that's not right as I live for them and in past years they have kept me sane as they have made me feel happier.

[CLKD]

Maybe you need to see your GP about treatment for depression.  There is a scoring scale to fill in which gives the GP an idea as to moods etc..  A course of 8-12 months of ADs might well lift your brain sufficiently so that you feel better, the brain is an organ that is often forgotten 

[Unhinged]

Dazned - thanks for that, after I posted about Vicks on your feet I was sure everyone would think I was off my trolley! Don't suppose you know why it works do you?

[Greenfields]

CLKD - they will be waiting a long time for me then as I have no kids lol.

I don't feel much different after a dog walk no - and that's not right as I live for them and in past years they have kept me sane as they have made me feel happier.

It does sound like a symptom of depression so worth getting checked out.  When I thought of depression I used to think that it meant folks were really miserable and gloomy but it doesn't necessarily mean that at all under the medical description - thats why I prefer to use the term nervous breakdown to describe what happened to me as it was a breakdown and I wasn't overly miserable - I was just very ill and it's taken a lot out of me and is taking a long time to recover from - but anehedonia is definitely something I still experience and is a symptom of depression - I can't find meaning in life these days although I remind myself constantly that what I am experiencing is a symptom and not me and who I am as I used to be a very upbeat person and I'm hoping, that at some point, that quality will return.

[CLKD]

It will return once your upheaval has lessened ;-).  I thought I would never feel well again but with good support from our GP, a loving husband and medication, most days I feel OK!   There were times when I didn't recognise that I was slipping into depression, my GP drove past me when I was walking my dog one morning, rang me later that day and told me to visit him in the Surgery the next morning. He could see by my posture that I was slipping back.

[Lynda07]

Thanks. Guess I will have to visit the Dr at some point, I hate medication but with the feeling low, panic attacks, tearfulness, flushes and night sweats - I know it's all part an parcel but I'm only a month in and wondering how I will cope already

[Greenfields]

Thanks. Guess I will have to visit the Dr at some point, I hate medication but with the feeling low, panic attacks, tearfulness, flushes and night sweats - I know it's all part an parcel but I'm only a month in and wondering how I will cope already

If you don't want to go down medication yet, then I would really encourage you to do other things that can support you.  I know you exercise because you walk the dogs but do you do anything aerobic?  Like swimming or dancing for example?  If you can find some exercise that gets your heart rate up and you can fit it in, then it might help - my menopause symptoms worsened because I got ill with a viral infection and so I didn't exercise for 2 months which didn't help any, I then compounded the situation by doing a 3 week meditation retreat where I did no exercise and drank lots of sweet sugary chai tea - it was then that my night sweats went into overdrive (but I didn't appreciate my hormone system was getting out of complete balance by then).  Although I had a solid meditation practice (meditation helps too) I was also under a huge amount of stress as I was going to move from the UK back to Canada - so that didn't help either.

Also look at your diet.  I cut out all coffee and regular tea - I only drink non-caffeinated herbal teas now.  I also cut out all sugar and I don't drink alcohol.  I also used to see an acupuncturist for menopausal symptoms and stress and that helped for a while until I got the viral infection that made me really ill.  I also take fish oil capsules - there are some really good ones by Eskimo which have a very high EPA  - Eskimo 3 Advanced EPA - I take one a day - they are really good for depression and mental health issues.  I went to a nutritionist to get some advice on my diet as well - I eat more meat and protein and feel better for it.  I've also almost completely cut out wheat - I eat it a little but not that much which is a big change from how I used to eat.  Most of the meals I make are made completely from scratch and I try to eat a lot of fruit and vegetables.

If all this sounds boring, I apologise!  I had a breakdown when my menopausal symptoms got so out of whack - so I was determined to do everything I could to get better - but it's taking a while.  However, I do think the things I have done, have made a difference.

But I'm also on HRT now - bioidentical progesterone (called Utrogestan 100mg) and an oestrogen patch called Evorel 50 - and it really has made a huge difference to how I function - so don't be put off by HRT and the risks of it - it's very much an individual decision but, on balance, I function so much better on it, that I don't want to go back to where I was before the breakdown and experiencing the most horrendous symptoms (at the time of the breakdown my body had completely lost the ability to regulate my body temperature and my sympathetic nervous system was stuck in fight or flight mode - it was hell).  I was always someone who used alternative health therapies before all this happened and rarely went to a Dr - I also practice yoga (I'm a qualified yoga teacher) so I never thought I would end up on HRT but I'm so damn grateful for it these days as what I experienced was horrendous. 

[Greenfields]

It will return once your upheaval has lessened ;-).  I thought I would never feel well again but with good support from our GP, a loving husband and medication, most days I feel OK!   There were times when I didn't recognise that I was slipping into depression, my GP drove past me when I was walking my dog one morning, rang me later that day and told me to visit him in the Surgery the next morning. He could see by my posture that I was slipping back.

Thanks for that - I keep hoping so!  You sound like you have a really caring GP - that's so lovely. 

[GypsyRoseLee]

I'm so removed you have mentioned anhedonia Greenfield's. I didn't know it had an official name. When I am having one of my episodes of very low mood I definitely have anhedonia. I can't feel any pleasure about anything. I totally lose my sense of joy and cheerfulness. My lovely DH can give me a spontaneous cuddle, and I feel zero (whereas normally I still melt a tiny bit, because I still think he's gorgeous even after all these years). But oddly, I can still orgasm (sorry if that is TMI) and I still enjoy eating food. But recently, even watching my daughter collect an important award at school failed to make me feel even a tiny bit pleased or proud. It's a living death, really.

It's a horrible, soul destroying state of mind. You just felt numb, bleak, detached. Thank goodness these episodes only last a few days before disappearing and I can experience 'normal' emotions again.