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[Micky]

I wonder what other ladies do to try to reduce the anx & does it help?
I scour the net looking for some answers - I try meditation & have books on various things - from positive thinking  to angel therapy .( none of it really helps) but out of desperation I hope something will..
Apparently Anxiety and  health anx is very common & particularly in ladies over fifty now - ( not surprising really) but I wonder if there are any support groups ( not just online) whereby people of a similar age could meet ...I know there must be ladies here that unfortunately have serious illness and are having treatment - I honestly cant imagine how they cope with anx/fears, when its due to the physical and not just thoughts/feelings ..

[honeybun]

Hobbies help me, I read and knit and garden. All things that occupy my brain to stop it whizzing around in unhelpful ways.

Not sure you would find any specific anxiety support groups where people meet up but your local mental health department would be able to tell you if there were.

I think any group where women meet up for a chat be it WI or knitting it all comes out in conversation. Women in general are good at sharing.

Honeyb
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[Gill Mojo]

I'm not a social animal so I have to find things to do which are solitary. I walk a lot, take pictures of any pretty or interesting things locally, bake, knit, read, play computer games and do lots of crafty things.

Meditation is very, very hard to get right, but the simplest one I have ever done is simply to sit in a dark (or dimly lit) room with a single candle in front of you, either at eye level or on the floor, depending on how you find it most comfortable to sit. Look at the candle, keep watching it dance and flicker. Don't try to make your mind blank; let the thoughts come, but let them slip away without ferreting at them. Sit quietly, watching the candle, for as long as you wish. When you're ready to return, blow out the candle, let your mind and eyes adjust to normal and carry on with your day/night. It takes a while to stop acknowledging those floating thoughts, but if you can get it down, it's very calming.

[thorntrees]

As Gill Mojo says meditation of any sort is quite difficult especially when you are anxious. I do try to practice mindfulness and find picturing a place where I feel at peace eg a garden or in the countryside and concentrating on that image helps me feel calmer. Keeping myself occupied though is the best thing for me. I do a lot of knitting and crotcheting of baby items which sell in our local hospice shop. Recently my Grandaughter(13) has been introduced to colouring for relaxation through a project at school so I have bought a special adult colouring book and we exchange pictures we have coloured. It's a very soothing activity and a means of communicating with her as we don't see each other very often. Reading and losing myself in a book also helps and my one afternoon helping at the charity shop gives me a chance to chat with others though listening is more me than talking!.
We all have to find our own way but it's nice to hear about things that have worked for others.
Hope you find something that helps soon Micky.

Thorntrees

[Micky]

Thank you ladies

Its the negative thoughts that do me in too ...I know I have friends that do not worry as I do, that's not to say they don't worry - they just seem to be able to control it better & don't do the ruminating stuff....
Like you say - we have to find our own coping mechanisms somehow ..

[CLKD]

Relaxation therapy has to be done 'correctly' and practised  .  MIND charity may have advice as might the Samaritans.  Your local mental health out reach support via your GP may be the way to go.  I have relaxation tapes as well as having been taught how to breath properly.  But I forget to practice ……….

Yoga.  Swimming.  Brisk walking.  Borrow a dog?  Singing can teach a person how to breath correctly, my music teacher told me that rarely to people breath correctly as we have become lazy as a 'race'  . 

I have found stretching helpful - starting at my toes I stretch each set of muscles, hold and relax: working up the body until I get to my eyebrows which I wriggle. 

[CLKD]

Bird table then?  Feeding the birds takes up a lot of my time throughout the year 

[CLKD]

Imagine how I felt when in 1991 I saw 7 cuckoos in the same field 

[CLKD]

These days we hear them …….. I haven't seen 1 for 3 years 

[bunnylove]

I just can't get over how much you sound like me...!  I would like nothing better than to get together with someone who carries around the same, ugly, horrible thoughts yet tries to act like everything is fine.  What a relief it would be to have a face to face talk with that person!

Like several others here - I knit.  A lot.  Design patterns actually which helps sometimes.  But I have to admit that even then the thoughts creep in...

The last two days I found this bible verse and have repeated it over and over to myself a hundred times.  Bible versus have usually not done much to make me feel better, but for some reason this one did:  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I'll be thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way Micky!

[CLKD]

Isn't it easier to put on a face, how many of us have a 'telephone' voice?  For me it's easier to say "I'm fine" than try to explain and see eyes glaze over  .  When very ill years ago I asked friends for help, I needed somewhere to simply 'be', to sit and not have to justify myself.  Well after 3 months the 'drop by when you need to' became a blank look when I knocked the door because I became clingy and the friends (all 8 of them in 2 properties) were fed up but didn't like to say so 

Which is why Samaritans help some people.  MIND charity has walk in Centres I think.  My problem comes at me in my dreams or as I drop off to sleep, bugga