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[Gill Mojo]

I swear, I can't help myself with the stupid titles for these posts Anyway...

So, as mentioned elsewhere, I am trying to lose weight. I don't do faddy diets or spend money I can't afford going to weight loss clubs; I just eat better and less. If I lost a stone and a half I'd be content. Last year I did just that, but put it all straight back on after a bad bout of depression. I know how and I know why; what I don't know is how to find a reason to do it, to stick to it, that I actually give a flying you-know-what about.

I gave up smoking cold turkey 5 years ago. No problem. Wasn't an issue. Smoker one day, non-smoker since. I've had the occasional yen over the years but never gone back. Dieting though, I just cannot stick to it.

As I said, I know all the reasons, both physical and mental, why losing the weight is good, but I haven't got a single reason I can hang on to to make me stick to it. I am a firm believer in - It will not work if I am not doing it for myself -  by which I mean if I do something because other people tell me to or because I think it is what they want, I will not keep it up because I have no personal investment in it. This has proven true for my entire life.

So I made a list of reasons why I should lose the weight and stick to it. Yep, it'll bring my blood pressure down a bit, but I've coped with it without meds for years and I ain't dead yet. Yes, it'll ease the pressure on my joints, but again, I manage perfectly well and I'm getting to the age where you naturally want to slow down anyway, so so what. Yes, I'll look better and my clothes will fit better, but who cares? I don't have anyone to look good for, I have no interest in clothes, and I don't care what other people think anyway!

There's loads more, but you get the gist. I can't find a single reason to stick with the diet that I care enough about. Nothing, zero, zip, nada...

Anyone still here? Sorry about the long post, but I can't help thinking surely I am not alone in this. I know most people struggle with motivation when it comes to dieting, but this is more about changing my lifestyle than a transitory diet, and it simply won't happen without a rock solid reason I can believe in with all my heart and soul. 

I'm not stupid, and I know other people cannot give me a reason, but I did wonder if all these busy female minds (and any random males who are hovering in corners, trying to blend in with the cobwebs) could chew on the problem and, looking in from out there, maybe suggest something I haven't thought of. Real world groups are no use to me as I am not a social animal, but that also means relying on others and that goes against the basic principle here - if I can't do it myself, it isn't going to happen

[honeybun]

I think what you have just told us is....you are perfectly happy as you are.

As long as you are healthy and get some exercise then fine.

I agree if there is no motivation what's the point.

One point that I would take issue with though.....you said you have no one to look good for....Yes you do....you. But if you are comfortable in your own skin then that's the most important thing.


Honeyb
x

[Gill Mojo]

For a long time, Honeybun, I thought I was happy as I was, but I have come to realise the reason I have become more and more unhappy about my weight is because everybody else tells me I need to lose it! Now it has become an issue locked into my depression, lack of self-worth and anxiety. I'm not particularly healthy, but not unhealthy enough to bother me much. I walk every day, and don't sit still for long and I really will research the idea of aqua-aerobics.

You have proved my point though; getting people who are on the outside to look at this does give me other ideas and viewpoints, so thank you

[Joyce]

Oh your post made me smile Gill Mojo. Two years ago I lost around 2 stones in weight as was forever being told by GP it would help BP etc etc. No fussy, fancy diet, just keeping close eye on quantities. It has crept up by around half a stone since as I was totally fed up watching it constantly. So roll on this year & son announces he's getting married next year. So I thought, there's an incentive to kick start the diet/exercise regime again.  Except I can't work up the willpower, keep thinking I've got ages yet to shift the weight. At the moment I've given myself a lower target than last time to aim for, not a ridiculous figure only an extra few pounds. My weight, as a result, has got stuck. So as I write this I'm about to head off for a swim. That's what shifted it last time, so hopefully will this time too.

So pick up that phone & enquire about aqua-aerobics, you know you want to. 

[Gill Mojo]

  I can't believe how 'not alone' I have started to feel since joining this forum! Just about to surf off to th pool website as it happens... do you think net surfing counts as exercise? 

[Winterose]

Gill

Why dont you just try to lose half a stone over 3 months, I am fan of 5;2 as then there are only 2 days a week to be motivated , also you dont need to go as low as 500cals a day - try 1000 and see how you get on, they have a forum with all the ups and downs on it. You must have almighty willpower if you managed to stop smoking so easily - keep us posted

[toffeecushion]

do you think net surfing counts as exercise? 

I wish

[Joyce]

But of course "surfing" is exercise! 

[babyjane]

I lost some weight last year due to the stress of daughter's wedding and forgetting to eat due to the busyness of it.  I ended up having to have my outfit taken in.  I liked being thinner, felt like I had achieved something. 

However, once the euphoria and adrenaline buzz of being the bride's mother wore off I realised about 6 weeks later that I didn't actually feel as well physically at the lower weight.  It didn't sit right with my system and my neck - my goodness it looked like a turkey's    But I thought I should maintain the lower weight because it was 'better' for me. 

Anyway fast forward and I am now back to my 'normal' pre wedding weight and feel so much better.  I didn't overeat but my body just rebooted itself when the stress was gone and I went back to normal eating.

What I am trying to say is that your body knows what is good for it.  We don't always know best.  I wasn't obese, only on the line between normal and overweight and dropped into the 'normal' category.  Looked better on paper but wasn't right for me.

Gill Mojo, find what is right for you, good luck x

[CLKD]

Morning!  Every evening my M in L weighed everything she was to eat the following day and put onto saucers in the fridge, i.e. butter, cheese …. once the saucers were empty that was it for the day. 

The trick is not to deprive yourself of things you like but to cut down.  Also, I have found in the past that if I wait before ordering a pudding I don't actually need it.  So when we eat our main meal I wait: after about 20 mins. my stomach doesn't have room for anything 'extra'.  If I fancy a pud we go out to a cafe where we know they do sumptuous sweets  .  I don't drink alcohol and notice that when Himself stops drinking, he loses weight ……… 

[Gill Mojo]

Winterose, I did look at that diet, but I have pretty  much come to the conclusion that trying to follow those diets is not for me. Reducing the amount I eat, and making sure it is heavy on the veg, light on the meat, seems to fit my life, my notions of eating. Now if you have a handy invention that takes away the desire for cakes and cookies and raspberry ruffles, we're in business

[Kathleen]

Hello Gill Mojo. (Loving the title btw and can't wait for the next one. No pressure lol).

I think you're right in that self motivation is the key and the fact that you gave up smoking shows you don't lack will power. If you are feeling miserable because of the menopause perhaps your eating habits are now a comfort to you and that is why you don't want to change them.
Changing habits, mind sets and behaviour is difficult but not impossible, you have proved that with smoking so it is your choice whether or not to do the same for your weight.

Whatever you decide I wish you well.
Take care.
K.

[littleminnie]

Is it sweet foods your weakness Gill Mojo? If so I can tell you what my OH did.

[Gill Mojo]

To be honest, I don't have a particular weakness for sweet things. As I get older I crave savoury far more. Having now cut chocolate out of my life completely, I would say that biscuits and quick snacks are the biggest naughty for me.

[CLKD]

How about trying 'fruesli' bars, no added sugars and 'fill the gap' for me.  Similar to what Pro-cyclists eat as they peddle along, you could try the gels from a good cycling shop too ……. bananas R slow release and can help in the afternoons.