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[toffeecushion]

I am constantly worried that I am ill and will die.  I also find it so hard to relax and enjoy myself or look forward to anything.  It's almost like I am afraid to be happy.  Anyone else been like this?

[Rebelyell]

Join the health anxiety club! I am trying yoga which helps a lot, and C B T, which I hope will also help.   I find keeping busy and being with people helps to take my mind off it.

Sending sympathy. Xxx

[honeybun]

Oh TC 

It's just your anxiety that's making you feel like this.

What will be will be....but the creaking gate and all that 

You need to try and address your health anxiety because that's what's making you feel this way.

Sorry I have forgotten....what kind of help are you getting.


Honeybun
X

[dazned]

I was feeling just like that in February this year ,it's just a terrible feeling isn't it.
But I've managed to come out the other side eventually,although at the time I couldn't contemplate ever feeling OK again ! With help and support on here and getting some medication and hopefully settling now on new hrt regime it looks like ,fingers crossed ,don't want to jinx things    those awful two months are in the past for now anyway. Still have aching joints but I will settle for that over the anxiety any day so I do empathize with you. Keep on looking for what might help you you will get there. I forced myself to eat little and often whether I wanted to or not,I tried beta blockers which did work for the anxiety,palps,etc.but made me zombiefied,diazepam worked well but knew the Dr wouldn't perscribe them long term,as I had chronic insomnia as well Dr suggested mirtazapine which suited me well and I have been fine since starting them and hrt regime seems to have settled too. Sorry I'm waffling,just trying to say there is light to be found you just have to keep plugging away for the right solution for you,and don't be scare to do/take whatever it takes ! In the end I would have tried anything and I'm so glad I did.

[CLKD]

HORMONES  …….. also we are at an age where we can see our mortality! and it takes longer to get our heads 'right'. 

[CLKD]

I worry more about DH not surviving  (Honeybun started a very good thread on similar lines so won't repeat myself  )

[Melly]

TC,
no you are not alone!  That describes most of my days.  Exhausting, isn't it?  Every morning I wake up, thankful I've made it through another night.  And, to repeat similar comments, once a pain seems to go away, something replaces it and the whole health anxiety starts again.  Today's anxiety menu has to do with bloating, pain under both ribs & the fact that I have no sign of a period for 31 days.  If it was not for MM and others sharing their experiences and concerns, I wonder how I'd cope at all.  I see my dr later this week and I just dread it because I'm sick of going and I'm sure they're sick of seeing me.  Anyway, power in numbers and best wishes as we all do our best to muddle through!!

[toffeecushion]

How do you stop worrying?  I don't take any medication, haven't even asked for any.  I wouldn't take it as I would worry too much about the side effects.  I know it is totally irrational and I have just as much right as anyone to enjoy life but I can't seem to.  We are on holiday in a couple of weeks and I have convinced myself something will go wrong.  I just want to stop thinking like this and accept life.

[dazned]

You need to break the vicious cycle somehow. First step go and tell your Dr how bad things have got ! Try small dose diazepam,2mg,it really will help calm you ,then you can start to see the wood from the trees and be more rational as to the next step. Left only the cycle will just escalate. One step at a time move forward,not easy I know but the option of doing nothing means being stuck in the same situation which is worse. Keep pushing forward.

[CLKD]

I agree with Dazned.  Also, keeping a journal helped me: vent, vent, vent …….. as does keeping a chart for the anxiety: 1-5, 5 being when I have to take emergency meds..  Making lists in the evening for the next day helps too, keeps me focussed.

My Psychologist asked me once 'what is the worst that could happen?' and 'what would you advise a friend?'

[babyjane]

I know this is no help when you are feeling like you do but in my experience it does end.

I used to feel terribly down and negative, always thinking the worst and imagining everything was a major illness. Over the last 12 months it seems to have got less by degrees and now, although I can still over react, I am not obsessed with thinking the worst any more.  I seem to be on a more even keel.

I do think that things can level out but it is horrible before that happens.

[Mrs January]

Hi toffeecushion

I too went through this phase...I say phase as that's what it is,

How did I help myself?
Be kind to your self, do less if you can or delegate, lavender to help me sleep, avoid all caffeine and alcohol, oh and I had to eat a snack before bed to avoid low blood sugars in the morning making me shaky...hope this may help you honey

Hugs Mrs J xxxx

[babyjane]

I have cornflakes before bed Mrs J.  Makes all the difference and if I forget........

[Melly]

Sparkle,
Your response made me smile.  Glad I'm not the only one!

TC, I finally gave in and allowed my dr to prescribe me medication because I could not go on as I was.  It really helped to take the edge off things; I take paroxitine.  It started out great until I increased the dose to 20 mg...that caused my bowels to go out of control so I had to lower the dose, now I take 5 mg daily in the morning.  Yes I still worry and still have anxiety but it is better controlled.  Most of the time.  I still worry that the aches and pains I have are sxs of cancer, which frightens me horribly.  My biggest fear is dying now and leaving my husband to care for our young son.  That is always in the back of my mind.  I also now keep a daily journal of my sxs- can I see a pattern? And make myself keep going, telling myself there is no other choice.

You are right, you deserve happiness in your life.  Keep going for it!

[toffeecushion]

Thanks for your replies.  I'm hoping it is just a phase.  I think I am under extra stress because of the holiday coming up and work has been causing me a bit of anxiety.  But I am taking 2 weeks off to calm down and relax before we go away.  I am hoping being off work will help.