I could have written your post, GRL. Scarily similar - even down to the fact my partner is in the scientific world too!
You're bang on about the extreme and sudden effects of hormones on your state of mind. So different from 'regular' anxiety which I had in my 20s and was work induced. It's like a horrid fungus which permeates every part of your being. You feel trapped inside yourself.
I think, looking back, I felt that the pill would be simpler than an even larger sized patch, combined with Utrogestan. I also liked the fact Qlaira had so few non progesterone days that - hopefully - I could survive the post progesterone dip I was frequently experiencing (I wasn't allowed continuous Utrogestan as I had regular periods, though I know some doctors will bend this rule). Have you seen Pixiegirl's post about why she switched to the pill? Her consultant said that being so young, HRT wouldn't be enough to override the peri fluctuations . I think that post was in the back of my mind when I asked about Qlaira too.