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[Grumpymum]

I feel your pain Freda. I understand where you are coming from. You know a solution is out there but when you are down and unmotivated, it is hard to see how it can be resolved. My mother sang the praises of HRT, said she felt 35 again on it at the age of 55. I'm still trying to find the solution. I'm currently on estradot and Utrogestan and also citalopram, but I still feel the same as many women commenting on MM who aren't on HRT. My gut feeling is HRT should sort it out but I am yet to find the right regime for me. I wish you the best of luck and sincerely hope you find a solution. Try to think positively, hard I know only too well.

[CLKD]

Hopefully you will have the chat with your Practice Nurse/GP - it took all my energy when ill to even consider getting out of bed to make the appt.

Let us know how you get on!

[dazned]

Sorry to hear you are down at the moment ,it's horrid isn't it.
You might well benefit from trying some form of hrt again but by its very nature the word trying is apt ! Whilst you try to find one that suits you what can you do to support all those awful doom and gloom feelings ? Try to keep active where possible,eat little and often if your appetite isn't up to parr,try some relaxation techniques, and if needed please don't shun a low dose AD ,they do have a role to play there are different ones to choose from ,it very much trial and error not an exact science unfortunately. Try whatever it takes for you . Hope you find your solution soon.

[rebelyell]

Hope you are feeling a bit more positive now you have had some lovely advice/support on here.

One thing to tell yourself is how great you really are.  I tend to sink into a 'how crap am I' cycle when low or anxious and blame myself.  But it helps to take a step back and consider what you have achieved and what kind of life you have managed to make for yourself.  Women are a bit rubbish at this in my experience but it helps sometimes just to be kind to yourself.

Good luck.

[GypsyRoseLee]

I'm another who took ADs for nearly 3 years, but found they certainly didn't make me feel happier or brighter inside. Instead they seemed to switch off most of my emotion and I felt grey and numb. But they did allow me to function normally, which I wasn't managing to do before. But I felt like a robot just going through the motions really.

But I had PND and I do think that I should have been hormone treatment rather than just ADs.

[Mary G]

Grumpymum, it took me a while to find the right HRT although this was in part due to the fact I am intolerant to synthetic progestins (not to be confused with natural progesterone which I can tolerate).  I had a consultation with a menopause expert and he said that in his opinion, estrogel is the best and most of effective type of HRT to use and having tried it, I agree.  I used to use the patches but I was not getting enough oestrogen into my system and in the end, I was on the 100mg patch and it was still not enough.  I've just found my blood test results (taken while on oestrogen only) and they read as follows:

My natural post menopause oestrogen level without HRT is 20 pg/mL (interestingly, I had this reading several times)
While using 100mg patch: 75 pg/mL (too low for me)
Using 4 pumps of gel: 291 pg/mL (went through the roof on this dose!!!)
Using 3 pumps of gel: 182 pg/mL (the right level for me).

This demonstrates how differently I absorb the two products but obviously it could be different for other people.

You may want to substitute you estradot with the gel (two to three pumps per day) just to see how you get on - it has to be worth a try. 

Hope you and other readers find this useful.

[GypsyRoseLee]

I do completely understand your 'life seems so pointless' experiences Freda.

I am 8 weeks into HRT yet I am currently in yet ANOTHER low mood dip. Everything seems pointless. Nothing seems pleasurable. I feel despairing and thoroughly miserable inside. I am having to force myself to smile at my children and make conversation with my lovely husband. It is incredibly draining. All I want to do is lie on the sofa and stare at the wall 

Now, this current dip 'could' be caused by my not absorbing my oestrogen due to my spray tan, then my patch fell off at some point for at least 24 hours? But, really I have no idea? It could just be that my bastard hormones are doing their own tango and HRT can't control them.

I know this mood dip will pass, they always do. but I am soooooooooo sick and tired of this awful rollercoaster of emotions. I am only 43 but recently I have found myself bitterly envying my Mum and her friends because they're all out the other side of menopause and living contented and calm lives.

 

[CLKD]

Freda - what did you decide?

ADs often are not a 'cure' but a way of managing depression.  Allowing the sufferer to 'cope' with daily activities.  Happiness can't be sustained continually anyway, but at least I can function most days ……. although I am going to have to up my dose as I am very low since Wednesday.

[Grumpymum]

Thanks for your advice Mary G. Yes, I agree, my next course I think will be estrogel, if I can persuade my doctor, especially as I have an allergic reaction to the adhesive in the patches, and get terrible itching. At the moment I am having to stay on the same regime as I haven't had a good bleed for a few months and am getting mild period-type pain and my doctor has referred me for a scan and doesn't want to change anything until that is done. Thanks again.