Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[GypsyRoseLee]

I hate being so pathetic but I just feel so horribly flat and low. I have just enjoyed two very good weeks and I was sure my HRT was kicking in.

But my mood started to dip again Tuesday night and despite upping my oestrogen dose my mood is just getting lower and lower.

My husband has just offered to take me put for dinner to cheer me up but he doesn't understand that when I'm this low nothing works. I just have to wait for that switch to click over in my head.

I just hate this. I feel so desolate and empty. I'm on day 21 and would normally have a period on day 26/27. I don't even know if I will have a bleed this month as I stopped taking my Utro after just 4 days because I wanted to avoid a nasty mood dip with my withdrawal bleed next week.

That's ironic. My mood has dipped horribly anyway and no idea howong it will last.

I am do sick of this. Sick of writing whinging posts on here. Sick of being so pathetic all the time.

I wish I had never started this HRT debacle. 5 weeks in and I'm just as up and very, very down as I was before I started HRT.

[Dorothy]

So sorry you are so down at the moment - I wish there was a magic solution to make this all go away but just hang on to the FACT that things will pick up again.  You are not pathetic at all, let alone all the time.  Just going through a horrible time and having an extra-horrible patch at the moment which makes it all feel worse.  Things will get better.   

Lots of love & sympathy

Dorothy

[Annie0710]

Aw never feel bad for writing on here how you feel, this is what the forum is for as well as education


Don't regret trying different HRTs either, if you don't try you'll never know .  If it's any consolation i am at the other end of the spectrum where they are saying there's nothing more they can do for me (although I'm convinced there is)

I know it's demoralising and makes you feel like giving up but hang in there

And bless your hubby, men will never understand and you can't blame them, we struggle to understand ourselves don't we ? They think a box of chocolates, flowers or a meal out will make us feel better, if only life was that simple


Annie xx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you so much for replying. I have just made myself read back in my mood diary to see how time and again my mood has dipped but always lifts again.

But it's so hard to feel it will actually happen this time. But I always find it impossible to believe each time this happens.

My husband isovely but he just thinks my dips make me feel fed up. If he knew how awful they really make me feel I think it would scare him.

I'm just trying to hold on until that switch flicks over in my head again. But it's so hard as I don't know how long I have to wait. Could be later tonight or could be in 5 days time.

[Tealady12]

Dear GypsyRoseLee

First of all have a big cyber hug... It's just rotten to feel like this isn't it? Your choice of words...desolate and empty...really struck a cord with me as did your description of a switch flicking between feeling low and feeling OK. Please don't think you are whinging and pathetic, you aren't! Your body is changing, your own hormones are doing their own thing along side the HRT kicking in too. I'm sorry I don't have any great answers, but I know I feel like I am on a roller coaster a lot of the time so I have much empathy for you. I am on HRT and still have dips like you describe. As I have the Mirena along with Evorel patches, I have no real idea of my cycle anymore, though am guessing my low anxious times are when I would have PMT or a period itself - but who knows really? I'm 46 and tell myself that even if the HRT doesn't seem to do much to help my mood swings at least I am protecting my bones. Maybe if I wasn't on the HRT, I would feel generally worse for more of the time...
Be kind to yourself, take a day at a time, then break the day down into chunks.. It's hard but it helps sometimes. I hope that this blip eases very soon.
With best wishes and another hug
Tealady xxxx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you so much Tealady. Your post brought tears to my eyes.

No one knows how low I get. I don't want to worry my family too much. So I often feel very alone when I feel low.

You make a very sensible point about at least I'm protecting my bones even if HRT does nothing else. Though I don't even know if my oestrogen is actually low? My bone scan came back as 'very good'.

But something must be wrong with my oestrogen else why would I feel so low so often but then be as right as rain for a couple of weeks every month or so?

[Bracken willowshimmer]

Dear GRL,

It's so horrible when we feel this way.  I know exactly what you mean about the switch flicking in your head.  My mood has been low today, felt horrible this morning but better as the day has gone on.

I am 43, not on HRT but perimenopausal.  My mood dips for about two weeks after my period. 

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Xx

[honeybun]

Maybe consider a short term AD to see if that evens things out. I can't tolerate them but many women do....and thrive with that extra help.
I know you are going on holiday soon but maybe something to consider when you get back.

That's the trouble with peri....you are up and down like a yo yo.

Unfortunately you just have to go with it knowing that the downs won't last and in a few days you will feel better.


Honeybun
X

[groundhog]

I would like to add my sympathies Gypseyroselee.   I have mood dips and when I'm on a downer nothing seems to work.  I go through in my mind all the positives but nothing works - I just feel like I'm in a deep dark hole and nothing will bring me out.   But like you also say when the mood does lift it's like lifting a blanket and I feel like a different person. It really is horrible and my husband struggles with it too.  I've alwqys been a bit moody but at the moment they are really bad and I am up and down all the time.
Sending you sympathies and hope that these dark days will pass xx

[GypsyRoseLee]

I can't thank you enough for all your kind replies, I am so touched that people take the time to reply.

I steeled myself and let my husband take me out for a meal, to my surprise I quite enjoyed it and came home feeling a little bit better. My mood hasn't really lifted I'm afraid, but I think I have reached a plateau inside where I have accepted that this is just how I am feeling now and panicking about it isn't going to change a thing.

I need to trust that my mood will lift again, even if that's in a week's time. It will feel very hard to get through the time until it does lift but I have to focus that it WILL lift, and take some comfort in that thought.

And I need to trust my consultant who was very clear that 25mg wasn't sufficient for me. She must have seen hundreds of women just like me, and must know what helped them the most.

Thank you again, you are all so lovely xxx

[Annie0710]

I'm glad you were ok going out this evening :-)


I sat my OH down a few months ago and explained all the times he'd planned things for us, meals, trips, even food shopping that the majority of the times I'd had to drag my weary self to them, half heartedly, I think it shocked him but I said he needs to be patient with me just now because I never know how I'll feel from one day to the next

He's a very keen (and good) golfer and tonight he reminded me it's our annual freebie day at the bmw championships next Saturday and was checking if I'll be feeling up to it !!! It did make me smile because he's learning but just not the bit about me not knowing a week in advance how I'll feel !

Big hugs

Annie xx

[TropicalVon69]

You have my empathy and love gypsyrose.....I am in one of those dreadful dips and have been for the last few days.....I'm having horrible anxiety and very low mood....I have a trip to deep sea world with my daughter today and just sincerely hope I can hold it together and that she has a lovely day.....my kids just don't deserve this and neither do I.....or any of us ...its so unfair it makes me want to cry and scream.....I am Going to put patch on today and keep my fingers crossed.....hope you're feeling better today....I think going out anywhere helps regardless of how u feel..crying now ......chin up gel....just wish we could all have some kind of convention or something lol.....x

[toffeecushion]

Sorry you are having such a hard time.  Sometimes a good cry can help.  Hope you are feeling better today

[GeordieGirl]

Huge hugs.I can't add much that hasn't already been said but keep your doc involved. If it's not working then it may be a different preparation works better for you. (what are you using currently?)  HRT can work well when you get it right...it might just need some tweaks along the way.
GG x

[pepperminty]

You know I know how you feel.

I am a bit better today , but yesterday I wasn't good. I haven't left the house for 2 days. I couldn't and didn't have the energy to do anything. It's hard when you can't tell those who are closet to you how you feel. But please if you ever get to the point of not being able to carry on ( as I remember you posting that you told your husband in the middle of the night), phone the Samaritans or tell someone. Do not suffer in silence !! Tell us. You aren't pathetic , and you wouldn't tell anyone else they were pathetic ,( who was feeling exactly the same as you,) that low for the same reasons , so be kind to yourself.

It's hard telling yourself this , that's why we all need to be reminded that there is hope . I have taken an extra half tablet of oestrogen (from the old half used packet). Just to see if it helps. Even if it's the placebo effect!!

When you get back from your hols , post about how you are (whether good or bad). And I look forward to reading about it.

My heart goes out to you and all the ladies suffering also.

Peppermintyxx