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[toffeecushion]

I'm fed up with all this menopause stuff.  I want my life back.  A life without anxiety and all the other symptoms.  I want to get up in the morning and look forward to the day instead of opening my eyes and immediately worrying about how I feel.  I want to go on holiday without the fear of a heavy unexpected period.  I can't plan anything because I just don't know how I will be and whether I could cope when the time comes.  I worry constantly about every ache and pain and it is draining me.  I want to start to think positively instead of always seeing the negative.

Anyone else feel the same?  What helps you stay focused and positive when menopause brings so much uncertainty?

[pepperminty]

Hi Toffeecushion ,

I agree completely!
I struggle most days and don't want to let people down. I went out yesterday evening for the first time in months and I am paying for it today. I don't drink and I got back at 9;45pm , and all I was doing was having a lovely evening with friends , but I feel awful today. Am I destined never to go out in the evenings again , unless I want to feel ill the next day? The only way I can function is to be in bed by 9pm and asleep by 10pm and rest in the evenings. This doesn't make for much of a social life and is impossible if I want to start a new relationship. Surely this isn't normal? Is this really my lot?
I am hoping that the meno nurse I am seeing in June may suggest upping my HRT dose.
I am worried that I am spotting , I am worried that I wont be able to improve my symptoms any further with HRT .
I cope with trying to see the funny side and concentrating on others rather than myself.
But I can't control my hormones. I ache all over and feel like I have a hangover.
I try and think positively , but when you are like this its soooo hard.
I feel pretty pointless sometimes with little to look forward too.
If I were physically well at least I would be able to do things. Like I have said before , it comes to something when you are great full to have the energy to wash up at 5pm.

I do try to remain positive and great full for the days when I am feeling better , but this is not one of those days. I know you have to pace yourself etc , but to function my pace has to be virtually at a standstill.

So yes I am fed up with this menopause stuff , and I want my life back.

Peppermintyxx

[toffeecushion]

Hello Pepperminty,

Sorry you are feeling like me

I know how you feel, I am usually home from work by 5pm, but I just haven't got any energy left to do anything.  I barely scrape together a meal and then have a bath and go to bed.  I have been known to be asleep by 6.  Some days I feel completely zapped. 

I just want to start looking forward to something again instead of thinking about how I feel.  My symptoms have put a hold on life that doesn't seem to be lifting.  A couple of years ago I would be planning our yearly Florida holiday, some years we even managed 2, now I know I couldn't do it.  I would love to go back, but I can't.  My family are also missing out on so much because of me.  I don't feel there for them anymore, I am too preoccupied with me.

[pepperminty]

Sole destroying isn't it. I have to look for a job through all this too, otherwise I will eventually lose my home. So that is an added worry.
I just hope that my health will improve with a stronger HRT.
If not I'm stuffed.
I sound depressed but It's more that I am fed up with feeling ill and its debilitating effect on my life. It's frustrating when I know I am very capable .
Oh well there is always hope. 

Peppermintyxx

[GypsyRoseLee]

I am so sorry you are both feeling so drained and rough. Generally speaking I don't suffer physically with any meno symptoms, except for when I have insomnia then the next day I feel utterly crap. So drained and weak. If this is how you guys feel that I am in awe of you being able to carry on every day. You really are heroes.

Pepperminty - it might well be that you need to up your dose? I put my extra 25mg patch on at lunchtime, and by tea time I was starting to feel better. Slept well last night and this morning woke up feeling 95% normal again (somehow I don't think I'll ever get to 100% again).

Don't think this can be a coincidence?

[pepperminty]

Hi GRL,

If only I were a hero , but I don't think I would look very hero like in tights with my pants on top at the moment , more comical I'm afraid.

Yep , I think you are right ref stronger Oestrogen , as I am on the low dose, but will have to wait until middle of June when I see meno nurse .
%!!&&^^^^??%%~~~#####@@__*******$$%%%%%%%!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was me swearing .

Thanks for you support , as I know you aren't having a wonderful time either.

Peppermintyxx

[GypsyRoseLee]

It's so silly you have to wait to see the Meno nurse. You don't use patches do you, which is a shame as you could just try doubling up on them like me as a temporary measure?

Isn't there anyway you could request an earlier appointment? Phone up and cry if necessary (I find I can cry quite easily nowadays). It just seems so cruel that you have to suffer through another few weeks when the solution could be so simple.

How close are you now to the end of the pack? I am keeping everything crossed for you.

[pepperminty]

Hi , I have 3 days to go. I actually have a redundant (2 pills used only) packet of Femeston oestrogen pills left. Perhaps I should add those temporarily? I think I may try and call the hospital and get an appointment sooner, but they are really booked up. 
This spotting is worrying me too, will I get a period as well next week?

Pmintyxx

[mandy43]

I absolutely hate this too.  I'm 44 and feel 84!  I worked so hard to lose alot weight in the past 3 years and it's coming back on and that makes me really sad.  I have zero energy, I have pains everywhere, my health anxiety has gone through the roof, I have to make sure I go the loo before I leave anywhere otherwise I'll never make it to where I am going as I have no bladder control.  My boobs have doubled in size, my teeth are all lose on the bottom, my eyes are constantly watering, my vision is crap, my moods fluctuate, I don't want to go out anymore and I have become a regimented maniac.  I plan things in advance all the time and make lists... this is not me, where has me gone?

[pepperminty]

Oh Yes , Lists , the endless lists!!
And even when you have written them you still for some reason forget to do what's on them . 

[toffeecushion]

I absolutely hate this too.  I'm 44 and feel 84!  I worked so hard to lose alot weight in the past 3 years and it's coming back on and that makes me really sad.  I have zero energy, I have pains everywhere, my health anxiety has gone through the roof, I have to make sure I go the loo before I leave anywhere otherwise I'll never make it to where I am going as I have no bladder control.  My boobs have doubled in size, my teeth are all lose on the bottom, my eyes are constantly watering, my vision is crap, my moods fluctuate, I don't want to go out anymore and I have become a regimented maniac.  I plan things in advance all the time and make lists... this is not me, where has me gone?

Your comment about needing the loo before you leave the house is just like me and when I do go out I need to know where the toilets are.  I'm having a lot of trouble with health anxiety at the moment, if I think about it I think this is probably my biggest worry.  I am convinced I have something seriously wrong with me and can put an illness to all of my symptoms.  I have also put on so much weight and am finding it so hard to lose it.  Don't knock lists, without them I would forget everything   It is such a hard time of life, when really we should be able to enjoy more time to ourselves.

[toffeecushion]

Oh Yes , Lists , the endless lists!!
And even when you have written them you still for some reason forget to do what's on them . 

I even forget to write them

[mandy43]

oh I have spent my life fearing something and this peri has just made it ten times worse... I am panicking like mad now that this bloody smear is bad and I'm doomed... I HATE THIS!!!!

[pepperminty]

Hi Mandy,

 I think it's called PERI HELL !

Please watch the short film on the post " I hope this helps" , I did this morning and it reassured me at least.

Peppermintyxx (or is that Periminty?)