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[jedigirl]

Glad to read this today.
Am setting off on 6 hour trip tomorrow and its the last thing I want to do.
I want to see my lovely family (its my brothers 50th birthday) but the travel and thought of mixing with people I don't know is causing me great anxiety.
I have a feeling I'll be hiding in my room for the duration of the party, or once everyone is drunk enough to not miss me!
Am putting off booking summer hols too as last years was so awful.
Wish this was easier. Hugs to nall
jedigirl

[SueRoe]

jedigirl, I sympathise but it'll be no time at all before you're back home having seen your family. I bet they're looking forward to seeing you. Think what you'll miss out on if you don't go. If it really came down to it and you had complete freedom to choose either to stay at home or to psyche yourself up to go and see your lovely family which would you really, honestly choose? I went to a family wedding where there were due to be many strangers a couple of years ago that I was dreading. The wedding was in the hotel where most of us were staying so I was able to nip up to our room at intervals just to have some down time from the hustle and bustle. It made all the difference to me and didn't affect anyone else. Don't even think about summer hols until you've dealt with this trip! One thing at a time. Good luck, let us know how you get on. I bet you'll cope and be glad you went.

[jedigirl]

Thank you Freda 
I would always choose to see my family of course it's just I used to look forward to these occasions so much, now it feels like endurance unless I'm with a small familiar group of people. I will go because I couldn't bear not to, I just wish it was easier!
 

[SueRoe]

I think that's one of the hardest things about this time of life - the loss of what we used to enjoy and our self-confidence. Sometimes I feel as if I've lost the person I used to be. It's hard. But it is temporary for most women I believe.

[CLKD]

I felt OK initially but during the drive my anxiety raised and I got black thoughts so have taken an emergency med..

[babyjane]

thank you all so much for your replies, especially starfish, I have written down bisoprolol to ask my GP about.  I don't mind having the BB if I could get rid of the fact they make me feel as bad, if not worse.  I will also ask about diazepam for the holiday and the wedding. 

One thing I have come to realise is that if I ingest a large amount of sugar in my diet (such as at weddings and birthdays) my anxiety goes off the scale but if I follow a relatively sugar free diet I feel more stable.  Someone said candida could be an issue but I don't want to get obsessed with symptoms, causes and cures