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[sandy]

Hi , Janiet , Sorry you are having Anxiety , Iam going through the same thing , i was on medication for about a year ,and been off it now about 8 months , but unfortunalty it has come back , so back on medication , i went to see a Heart specialist about 2 years ago as i thought there was something wrong with my heart ,bad palpitations , but my heart was good , it was the dreaded Anxiety that caused it .

I do not like taking medication , but we all need help at times , the heart specialist put me on , Bisoprolol 2.5 mg , which helped with palpitation , but did not help with anxiety , i take 1 in the morning , they do give you a low blood pressure , and a slower pulse , which can sometimes make you feel a bit faint feeling , then i had to go on Ads Sertraline 50 mg , and then went up to 100 mg ,  which eventually worked but they took about 8 weeks before i started to feel better , if you read forums on internet people do say they take quite a while to work , I feel ashamed to be taking Ads , but i was desperate , but they do eventually work .

Please get help for your anxiety , I wish you well.

[babyjane]

Propranolol stops the physical manifestations of anxiety but doesn't stop the psychological sensations, unfortunately.

So you can still feel waves of dread/anxiety but physically your body remains calm.

I never knew that so thank you very much 

I feel ashamed to be taking Ads , but i was desperate ,

please don't every feel ashamed taking something that your body needs.  Taking ADs for your mental wellbeing is no different that taking Iron for anaemia or Insulin for diabetes.  Don't ever feel ashamed x

[CLKD]

If you are hungry do you not eat?  If you had heart disease, diabetes would you not take medication as advised?  The only reason to feel ashamed is if you feel it necessary to tell people what you are taking.  I long ago decided that I wouldn't tell anyone …… I don't tell them when I go to the loo  or wash my feet so why does anyone need to know what meds I take?

I noticed on Thursday  -  when not feeling great, that even meeting a camper or caravan on the road gave me anxiety surges  - because my brain immediately asked 'what if I can't go on holiday this year?' ……….

[babyjane]

'What if' should be shot .  I get sick of its voice bossing me about  .

Husband doesn't help with his 'what if not' either.  It doesn't respond to reason!

[CLKD]

You are so right! and it's so sudden.  It's not even conscious thought, it's there …….. anxiety followed by those words.  Whereas a Psychologist tried to insist that I HAD to think of something negative in order to trigger the anxiety  - she soon got the sack I can tell you!

[Taz2]

I've spent years doing what I had to do from attending things that I didn't really want to go to but had to - lots of them to support my children when they were growing up - to holidays when I spent most of the time counting the days to when we could go home but always with a smile on my face and nobody knew (well you all know now  ). I always thought that I would get to a time when I could say "no" if it gave me anxiety and that's where I'm at now. If it's too worrying I don't do it.  Some may see this as giving in but I just see it as being freed from stuff that gave me so much anxiety in the past which I did because I felt I ought to. Yes, I got through it all. I never let anyone down (why is it that we feel we are letting people down if we can't do something?) went to all the things I was expected to. Nursed my mum and dad through their last few years without missing one hospital appointment, doctors visit etc. CLKD you ask what if you can't go on holiday? You don't have to go. It is sad not to be able to do things but sometimes the anxiety beforehand just isn't worth it.

We have to learn not to beat ourselves up about the things we can't do at the moment

Taz x

[honeybun]

I totally agree Taz. Now my kids are much older I don't feel under as much pressure.....mind you when I was younger I just coped better with life in general.
Saying no can be very liberating and then the anxiety does not get a chance to build.

If I was so anxious about going on holiday I just wouldn't go. If you spend months stressing about something then the chances are you won't enjoy it so why on earth bother.


Honeybun
X

[babyjane]

I do like your post Taz2, it is how I aspire to be but, so far, have not managed it.  I am a people pleaser as a result of my upbringing and I fear rejection and disapproval if I displease people, fear it so much I can't cope with it.  I long to choose what's best for me and I do in my head but can't manage it in reality, not yet anyway 

[CLKD]

It matters to me - because in the 1990s I was housebound and don't want to go that way again.  It is the randomness of it all ………..

[Cazikins]

Saying no can be very liberating and then the anxiety does not get a chance to build.

Honeybun
X

If I say no I feel guilty & it eats away at me & this causes anxiety.
I have lost lots of contact with what I thought were very close friends because I just couldn't give myself that extra push to go out & make the effort & they didn't understand. 
When I was younger I was so confident & up for a laugh & a night out, but now I just haven't got that confidence.
If I am outside my comfort zone I start to panic, I talk a load of rubbish & I feel stupid.

[honeybun]

You don't have to feel guilty saying no.

I have to admit I have made up excuses in the past to get out of doing things but that is rare these days.
I just say.....sorry I can't manage that.
It's not just for acquaintances.....I do it for family too. I just say sorry I can't manage that. They just accept it without question.

We are entitled to choose what we want to do.

It's extended family that push my buttons. I get very wound up inside because I know I'm being manipulated out of spite.
In years gone by I would have shrugged and got on .....now I'm quite capable of getting my own back.....quietly. Petty...probably.....satisfying...oh yes 


Honeybun
X

[CLKD]

Oh do share how to be petty 

[honeybun]

You really wouldn't want to know CLKD 

Let's say it's a dish best served cold and I'm keeping this one in the freezer 


Honeybun
X

[babyjane]

Have you seen 'The Help'?

If you haven't you won't get it but if you have...................

[CLKD]

I've got the book ……….. 

So far so good - however: