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[babyjane]

No systemic HRT, only Vagifem.

I have tried a few in the past when I was peri and they made things feel worse as I am so intolerant of medications.

I have been fortunate in that I have been able to cope with it until last September when these anxiety surges took the place of the hot flushes.  I would swap for the flushes now to go back to having a clear head and not feeling so scared of everything.

Ho hum, I wonder what game my hormones will play next  .  I know a few older ladies in their 70s now for whom it is all a distant memory - roll on my 70s 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Yes, I would definitely swap this horrible anxiety/dread for hot flushes. I can cope with anything physical, it's the psychological symptoms which are flooring me.

[CLKD]

Is the anxiety not physical though  - it certainly is for me 

[GypsyRoseLee]

In a way it is. I get an upset stomach and can feel very chilled. Get nasty little andrenaline tingles down the back of my legs too. But the feelings of impending doom/dread are much worse and really floor me 

[CLKD]

  ……. I get the adrenaline rushes too …… like hot water flowing around my veins  …… I couldn't get warm in the night when anxiety was bothersome and I had very black thoughts 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Sounds so familiar CLKD. It's a danger sign when I start feeling cold and shivery for no reason. And my outlook goes very, very bleak. Nothing gives me any pleasure.

Did HRT not help your peri symptoms at all?

[Pixiegirl]

Sounds like there's a lot of discomfort going on out there! I'm totally feeling it myself today. Recently returned from the school run where I found myself incapable of getting out of the car to collect my 7 year old as I was experiencing an acute panic episode. Having been crying for the last two days I thought I was somewhat improved this morning but by the afternoon I was crying all over the place, no reason for it, and couldn't stop. I tried all my usual tricks to stem the flow of tears but eventually I began to hyper ventilate. Thankfully I saw a mum who I trust and was just about able to ask her to collect my son. What a drama! This is an all time low for me as now I'm totally concerned that I'll be breaking down in public.
Tomorrow I'm back at Northwick Park women's clinic, a coincidence of the most useful kind, and I will be sadly telling them that the Qlaira is clearly not working any more. Only been taking it for about six months, is it reasonable for a medication to stop working in this way? I suppose if I'm honest I've been having a nagging sense that it wasn't working in quite the same fab way that it did in the beginning. I just wanted it to be the answer for longer than this.
Right now I'm exhausted and disappointed with a bit of concern over what else they will be able to suggest.
Sorry to be a bummer, but I've just had the most hideous afternoon. I know that things will be better but right now it's all over me in the worst possible way.

[CLKD]

I don't take HRT.

It is usual for herbal remedies to work initially but the over-riding up and down of hormones can over-ride any benefits.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Oh Pixiegirl I am so sorry. What a horrible experience to go through. You know this will pass. We know it will too. But that doesn't make it any easier to live through it, I know.

Hope you're feeling calmer by this evening. Will you go back to HRT do you think?

[GypsyRoseLee]

CLKD do you mind me asking why you don't take HRT?

I wonder now if my mega supplements made any real difference or maybe it was just coincidence? I experienced a similar 6 weeks of 'feeling good' every day just before Xmas (which is why I turned down my consultant's offer of HRT in November) But I wasn't taking a single supplement back then. but then it all came crashing down over Xmas and New Year.

I think I just got a lucky 6 weeks where my hormones were playing nicely together for a time. Then WHAM they decided to play dirty again  And it's happened again.

I am going to go ahead and ask my consultant for HRT next month. I have nothing to lose and really can't face the thought of battling with bad days like these on and off for the next 'however long.'

My children deserve their 'real' Mum and my husband deserves his 'real' wife. Not this anxious, fragile, panicky creature who can be full of smiles one morning then feeling in the pits of despair by lunch time. It's not fair on anyone.

[Dandelion]

Hi @CKLD sorry, I read further down the thread and found the answer to my question.

Big hugs to all of you who are suffering perimeno symptoms, they are horrible, I got really bad IBS before going on my evorel, it was nasty, and the low moods and fear and doom!!!
I still believe some of the fears that his meno morning doom brought me.

[CLKD]

I don't mind you asking - apart from the odd 'warm' flushes during peri which coincided with taking evening meds and itchy insteps at night which continues intermittently; and the awful vaginal atrophy (see my thread) which treatment helps stave off symptoms, I have been SO lucky. 

Even though I had breast disease in 1995 if push came to shove I would irritate my GP for HRT if required: quality of Life is important to me.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you CLKD.

I just wondered if HRT would help with your panic attacks, if they were caused by hormonal fluctuations?

[sammy]

If it is any consolation, I visited the psychiatry clinic in December and they told me it would be totally normal and expected to have relapses into anxiety from time to time.  Since March 3 I have been on a big improvement, with only one short 15 minute episode since then.

But if it comes back, hopefully it will be of help to know that these things happen and it will likely pass by again and you will be back to normal once the storm passes.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you Sammy.

When I last saw my consultant in November I was enjoying another episode of feeling normal and symptom free for a couple of months. This is why I turned down her offer of HRT at that appointment. She did mention that it was very likely my symptoms would return and that it was normal to have extended episodes of normality lasting weeks only for the hormones to start playing up again.

But I didn't listen. FOOL 

I do know that this current state will pass and I will have good days again. But I HATE this never knowing how I will feel from one week to the next. I have had 6 days now of feeling anxious and on edge, unable to take pleasure in anything. And  will never get these 6 days back. Add them to all the other days where  have felt the same over the last 15 months and I have lost several months of my life to feeing awful. That's a big chunk of my life 

I am going to try HRT and see if it can even out my moods and give me some confidence that my more stable mood WILL last more than just a few days.