I have a long term back ground of anxiety. Started as a kid, scared at night, no parental support. Crying not allowed, ever. Even when I broke my arm. Then as a teenager scared to go to sleep, used to sit up, curtains open looking out at lights on the hill beyond. Lost both grandmas and dad left due to an affair all the year I was 16. Mother couldn't help me, just had to cope herself.
Had PND with DD, yet happy while pregnant. Had PND with DS perfectly content while having difficult pregnancy, no fear at all. morning anxiety kicked in then. Later pregnancy losses, but no crippling anxiety, but great sadness. Then had PND with DD again. Consultant planned to give progestagen injections, but after first one my throat swelled up so that was abandoned. Hence PND kicked in. Cue antidepressants yet again, there I languished happyish for 14 years then I decided to come off them. But after 6 months I would have happily died so I went back on. I've been fine the last 4 years until I had 3 month cancer scare, surgery, then I find an allergic reaction to vitamin D. I know hormones are all over the place, periods all over the place, hot flashes, tingling but worse by far now is crippling anxiety. So much so I'm a shadow of the woman 3 months ago. I'm letting my family down as I am too scared to go abroad. I'm can't imagine not being in my bed right now. I get spooked in my own lounge. I feel like I've been haunted. Impossible to explain to those who have not had it. I hate it so much. I just want me back right now.