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[Dorothy]

What support do you offer to women facing early menopause? 

I was reeling from shock when I realised I was peri-menopausal, but my GP couldn't have been more off-hand about it; no sympathy, no support, no advice, just 'it's part of life, get on with it'.

[peegeetip]

The lack of empathy and sympathy comes from the type of people who generally become doc's (not all but a huge number). IMHO brilliant minds, but what they make up in brains they often lack in empathy and common sense/touch.

Its quite shocking how many of us seem to get the same message "Just get on with it!"

Sorry but no. I won't be getting on with it 

But perhaps we should stop saying its natural!!!
No one says type two diabetes is natural "BUT IT IS!!".
Perhaps those suffering from type two diabetes should just "get on with it" too.
Most people who discover they are type two diabetics get there naturally and are otherwise fit and healthy without being sweet tooths or fat.

Not sure why this attitude exists for peri/meno only, but it is terrible and someone somewhere needs to do something to fix it.

Sorry for that Dorothy but the more I hear about the lack of care we get the more frustrated it makes me feel

 

[CLKD]

Because menopause was un-heard of, ladies didn't live long enough: remember that women had children as the body was designed: they were either pregnant, breast feeding or having a short break before the next pregnancy so the body didn't go into menopause in the same way.

It IS NATURAL ……… tell me what medical conditions aren't 

[Dorothy]

The lack of empathy and sympathy comes from the type of people who generally become doc's (not all but a huge number). IMHO brilliant minds, but what they make up in brains they often lack in empathy and common sense/touch.

I agree.  One of my friends was told at her first pregnancy scan that her baby had died...the doctor went straight from telling her that to making arrangements for removing it and talking about how soon she could start to try again.  She said there was no sympathy and no understanding at all that this was her much-wanted child that had died, and that she was in shock and grieving.  It was just 'get on with life' and 'try again in a few weeks'. 

I can understand some people with brilliant minds can struggle with empathy, but surely there must be SOME way of encouraging them to think 'how would I feel in this situation'.

[CLKD]

Bed-side manner has to be taught. 

[peegeetip]

Dorothy,
so sorry about your friend.
Its terrible to hear about your friends treatment.
Such a horrible situation only made worse by people who can't understand the wider issues.

CKLD, I think some people are able to relate to people others cannot. I don't think it can be taught either.

Also IMHO we have to stop calling it natural
"It IS NATURAL ……… tell me what medical conditions aren't"

If you say its Natural and "to be expected" then don't be surprised when people ignore you or tell you to "get on with it"
If we treat it in the same way as diabetes or thyroid.
People need to have the same respect of peri/meno as other conditions/diseases we seem to hold with levels or support and deference that people get when they have those.

A good example is Blood pressure and rising levels as we grow older. Its natural part of growing old but you'll not find anyone getting "Just get on with it" from a doc. The doc will test, monitor and prescribe to help it even though the drugs have some bad sides effects. No lectures or prevention in prescribing is encountered either. People who have high blood pressure we feel sorry for and tend not to put under pressure, in some cases being changed roles at work or even time off work. Certainly no joke about the BP condition either.

Just a pity we can't get the same level of respect and understanding for peri/meno.

I hope you understand now why I'd rather we stopped the "natural" nonsense.

 

[CLKD]

No I don't understand  - all medical conditions are 'natural' and some will get priority, i.e. blood pressure can cause stroke so if monitored and controlled, there is less chance of someone being affected.  Some medications are pushed by the Drug Companies and some the GPs get paid extra for prescribing …….. and as for BP, White Coat Syndrome can lead to un-necessary prescribing.

Often ladies present in Surgery with non-specific symptoms, i.e. weepyness, which the GP assumes is depression without searching for a basic cause.  When we are feeling less than 100% we become vulnerable, I remember how difficult it was to get my points over when suffering with depression, I could hardly open my gob leave alone tell anyone how I was feeling  .  This menopause lark lands in our laps - for me it crept up for others it can be sudden.  Even though we are aware that it will happen until we begin The Change how can we know how we will be affected 

I learnt late on that I could empathise only when I'd been through a similar situation.  Sadly it took various illnesses to make me realise that Life isn't about 'pulling ourselves together' ……… or we wouldn't require Doctors ……..

Education, education, education ?

[honeybun]

Perhaps conditions such as high blood pressure and diabetes are monitored more closely because if they are neglected then there is the possibility of death.

Menopause although affecting quality of life doesnt kill you.

It is natural unlike an illness which can sometimes be prevented. All women go through this.

The medical profession should at least be taught how to deal with it.


Honeybun
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[peegeetip]

Sorry but I don't see your logic in comparing our peri/meno as somehow different to other conditions you've.

Look at the protection we get from HRT that has proven the link between declining estrogen and bowel cancer??
They are starting to understand the impact to our circulation, heart and blood due to lack of estrogen.
So if we try and ignore it and "get on with it" then it too can cause serious issues that can kill us.

Bowel cancer and heart disease are awful diseases and not well screened till its too late often.

All three conditions Meno, Thyroid, BP and Diabetes don't kill us right away.
All will cause chronic issues that are painful and debilitating.
All lead to serious life threatening issues that can kill us.

I've yet to hear something who discovers they have BP or Diabetes issues "Just to get on with it" as advice from their doc???

Sorry but if we treated peri/meno in the same way as these other conditions then I think we'd be in a better place.
Trying to tough it our with this "oh we're just Naturally having a terrible time" is not working! 

[Limpy]

All three conditions Meno, Thyroid, BP and Diabetes don't kill us right away.
All will cause chronic issues that are painful and debilitating.
All lead to serious life threatening issues that can kill us.

Meno does not kill us.
It might make us feel grotty but it isn't life threatening.

[CLKD]

Building a working relationship with the GP/Practice Nurse is important.  It enables the patient to ask the questions but when we are vulnerable it can be hard work.  Making a double appt. is important so that there ins't a feeling of being rushed in and out the door  and taking someone along to press for information when the patient is unable to push their symptoms across.  I found it very difficult as already stated until the medication kicked in, then I went along to my GP and talked about how my illness was going to be treated. 

Your argument is that menopause isn't 'natural'  ………. so what is it then?

   I've read my responses and I appear 'thick'  - probably missing your point completely 

[peegeetip]

People saying its natural leads to the position we are now in (poor, dire, undervalued, avoided, ignored, put up with etc etc).

I don't think I'm the only one that thinks there is a problem in the way we treat peri and meno.

The main problem is so many of us ladies try and push it under the "natural" carpet then fret when no one takes us seriously (when we need help often when its too late and damage has been done!).

CKLD I agree with your last posts points but people need to know its a "Serious" matter.
Certainly not the "optional" response we seem to get from people that should look after our best interests.

Its a condition that should not be reduced, undermined, ignored, joked about, avoided and more.
We ignore at our peril in haste and repent on what we could have done at our leisure.

Perhaps if we turned round to the next person suffering from high blood pressure and stated "oh its just natural and Get on with it!" and showed the same level of empathy saved for our peri/meno, then their reaction might paint the picture of whats wrong with treatment of peri/meno.

Surely you must understand that?

[dazned]

Think we are getting hung up about the word natural! Menopause is a natural part of all women's lives !

Unfortunately SOME women have a really, really bad time with it ,me being one of them !
I except menopause is natural like child birth but some are easy some are anything but !

What we shouldn't except is being treated shoddiley by gps ,through lack of knowledge or empathy. And only we can change this by getting educated ourselves and challenging this treatment,and demanding the proper respect and treatment we deserve.

[CLKD]

   Dazned

It's not easy to be ahead of menopause, i.e. we get education about periods but until meno symptoms 'hit', we don't go to our Surgery for advice before we need to.  I think that once ladies begin to get to grips with their symptoms and treatment, we should go back to the Surgery and explain what is required to continue that working relationship. 

[honeybun]

High blood pressure/ diabetes.....can kill you.

Meno won't.......it should not be ignored or swept under a carpet but whether we like it or not its not life threatening.

Unpleasant yes....affect quality of life yes. Kill you like the other conditions you mention, most definitely not.

If it's not a natural ageing process that every woman goes through and has since we started living beyond child bearing age.....what on earth is it.

It happens for a very good reason. To stop mammals breeding.


Honeybun
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