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[honeybun]

Just wondered who does what in everyone else's house.

I seem to do it all. Well in fact I do do it all 

I sort all the insurances, the bank accounts, savings, electricity and gas accounts. If anything get changed its me that does it. I do tell hubby and he listens....I think....sometimes reads stuff and then nods. If anyone calls the house he tells them his wife deals with that kind of thing.

It all started when he worked away. I dealt with everything as he just wasn't home enough and it has just carried on. I don't mind but what happens if I couldnt. He never even checks our bank account  and I doubt he would know how to do it online.

He is perfectly capable but....


Anyone one else do what I do ?


Honeyb
X

[CLKD]

I can't add up or take away  nor will I cook!

SO: DH has always sorted our money.  When he or our Financial Advisor tells me stuff I understand it  .  We have never spent outside our means and he has our daily spend on a spread-sheet as well as keeping an eye on the Stocks etc. that our FA has recommended: so far with success 

He also has a spread sheet for the house/car/life insurances.  He has arranged for the various DDs for water/rates/electricity etc..  We have several money accounts and he advises me each month which account needs topping up from mine ……. we are well known in our Bank and they get a giggle, it could look as if he were 'advising' me to his benefit however 

He keeps an eye on the oil levels, we have a Watchman thingy plugged into the lounge and orders appropriately, having rung round to see 'best price'.

As for laundry: he hasn't yet familiarised himself with either the dishwasher, iron, ironing board, washing machine, laundry pegs  and the sink is mine: the rest of the kitchen and utensils are his 

We have always shopped together …… he keeps an eye on what is in the freezer/pantry and I keep an eye on cleaning/laundry stuff.  Clothes we buy as required but he will frown if he doesn't like something I pick even when I like it  - but I have learned to listen to him …….

[honeybun]

Heck, where did I go wrong. 


Honeyb
X

[CLKD]

You didn't have a student who kept a keen eye on bargains in the shops ……… etc., etc., etc. 

[Dyan]

DH looks after all the financial stuff,Lecy,water,gas,insurance ( house & cars)
I look after the house and do all the grocery shopping.
DH even washes my car when it's dirty and cuts the lawn. Won't let me do it,thinks I'll mow over the lead

[CLKD]

  …….. we dug up our lawns over 25 years ago  - not in case I ran over the lead though ……..

[honeybun]

Oh heck I really did blow it.

I really do think it's because hubby worked abroad so much for 25 years. I was like a single parent a good part of the time so I just had to do it, including cutting the grass and washing the car.
The kids memories of dad when they were small was arriving home on a Friday night with presents you couldn't get in this country and then leaving again on a Sunday....or being away for weeks on end with just phone calls.
I do find if the kids want something sorted they come to me because he was never there and that has spilled over into adulthood.

Honeybun
X

[Joyce]

In the early days mainly myself, sorting out insurance, budgets etc. Nowadays, I have control of housekeeping, booking of holidays, travel insurance. Hubby has taken over savings & house/car insurance.  He's the one who understands our investments, way over my head. He occasionally drives me bonkers with it, much in the same way my mum did.

[honeybun]

Oh heck just re read that and it makes him sound like a rubbish dad and he was anything but.

He was away working really hard to provide a great life for us.


Honeyb
X

[Dyan]

Our's could do with a refurb.
There are lots of holes from when we had our dog.She had phases of digging them,usually in the winter when the nights drew in and you couldn't see her in the garden.

[Taz2]

We have never had a joint account - my money gets paid into mine and some of his gets paid into his and the rest gets paid into mine! He's responsible for the household bills such as gas electric water council tax and his car costs and I'm responsible for all of the food shopping, all of the insurances, Christmas comes out of my account (presents food etc) and I pay for all of the birthday presents etc. I pay all of my own car costs too. He does the garden as I absolutely detest it and never notice anything in it anyway apart from the birds and I do all of the housework because he never notices when anything needs doing. I don't understand how he can't see the dirty bathroom and he can't understand how I can go in and out of the house past the plant pots and not notice them dying through lack of water.

He does offer to wash my car as he hates to see it dirty but I don't let him much to his annoyance. I bought it in June and haven't cleaned it yet - I think it was a shiny black when I bought it... it looks like it has a life!

A friend recently lost her husband and had never so much as paid any bills at all - she had no idea where to start and has been left in a bit of an emotional mess as she was so used to him looking after her all of the time and it's difficult enough to cope with sudden grief let alone learning at the age of 59 to be independent. She even finds it difficult to fill the car with fuel.  I would hate to be like that but it made him happy that she was so dependent (not in a controlling way but just in a feeling useful way I reckon). She always hoped that she would die first!

Honeybun I know exactly what you mean. It was the same here not due to being away but due to being a workaholic/golfaholic. Mind you he has said since that he wouldn't have been able to be like that if I hadn't been so independent so I reckon I was always like that. My own fault!!

Taz x

[littleminnie]

You haven't washed your car since last June? Did I read that right? June?
Check your registration document, it might not have been black. 

[CLKD]

  ……… cleaning/washing vehicles is WAY down our list 
I would be in a muddle when DH dies  ……. I will hand everything to our FA and silver dealer …….

DH picks areas to go on holiday and I do the booking ……… we watch programmes on TV and say 'that would be nice' 

[honeybun]

I dontvreally think I would have it any other way. When my dad died my mother sank. She had not got a clue. I ended up at 19 running a house, learning and trying to teach her how. That was so wrong in every way. She was given housekeeping and ran the house...my dad did the rest.
I really would not like to be clueless over financial things.

Hubby would say he knows exactly what was going on and to a degree he does. I'm just more interested in getting the best deals on everything.

I think it's the worst idea ever for just one person to be in charge....we should all be able to do what is required.
Guess I was very independent too Taz....I had no other option, now I'm good at it.

I was the one who went after PPI compensation,.....got it...now going after mis selling of bank accounts and hopefully will get that too. Hubby sits back, lack of interest....not got a clue....all I know is we are better off due to my efforts.

Don't sit back ladies...I watched my mother flounder and it was not nice to see.


Honeyb
X

[CLKD]

We get bothered about different things - stuff I would pursue doesn't seem to bother Himself 

He could manage the laundry etc. if he had to