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[clio]

Hi ladies

My worrying and paranoid head has been really bad just lately.  I make crafts for charitys to sell for funds which is one thing I worry about, say if someone bought one of my crafts and chokes or suffercates etc etc.  I also worry about the computer being hacked and my identity gets stolen, have you seen the film 'The net' with Sandra Bullock, that scares me as well, I worry about stuff like that, is it a valid to worry about stuff like that or am I have some sort of mental problem??

Your views would be appreciated

Clio

[nelliedee]

Its called catastrophic thinking and I seem to have it too
 I think I have always thought like this and not noticed it too much and now I am in Peri Meno it has bought it to the surface
I started CBT therapy and I feel it has helped me only after 1 session !!

[clio]

catastrophic thinking!!!  interesting, thankyou for that, i'll look into it.  Glad it has a name and is a condition.

[Witches Cat]

Hi Clio,  I'm the same, some nights these thoughts go round and round in my head and sleep is totally impossible. I worry about what I know for sure is coming, as well as things that will probably never happen.  I lie there trying to make contingency plans...  I really need an "off" switch...

[Sarai]

Thats where I am right now. feel like Ive been in peri years. I was quite stable in every way until I got called back from a mamo last November and spent months being poked prodded and tested and operated on. I got the all clear after all that but now I am a jibbering wreck.

[clio]

Gosh there seems to be quite a few of us with this problem. My husband says I'm not happy unless I'm worrying bout something or if I'm having a good period he says I have to find something to worry about otherwise I worry that I have nothing to worry  about 'o my,!!!

[nelliedee]

I think it affects a lot of women as a fair few of my friends think the same way. Its how we react to it that counts. I have always been fairly stern with myself and told myself off  but I am now learning to catch the thoughts, analyse them and answer them in a more balanced way..... So in a nutshell girls I am now well and truly talking to myself 

[CLKD]

Once you have made your items and passed them on, it is not your problem.  If the people you supply didn't think your items suitable they wouldn't take them, however, the way to settle your mind is to ask them!

Or stop making stuff ………..

Depression made my head race, so fast sometimes that I couldn't keep track …….. 

[Rhubarb]

I've always been a worrier but like others have said it's only gotten worse during perimenopause. I'm always thinking the worst will happen in every situation, especially when I hear terrible things in the news.

[nelliedee]

I stopped watching the news as it seems to always be catastrophic and I no longer read newspapers but I can see that I have avoided a lot of other things too so its probably become a habit. I did manage to watch the Brits last night and didn't end up sobbing to the sad songs so that's a bonus.

[Taz2]

Hi ladies

My worrying and paranoid head has been really bad just lately.  I make crafts for charitys to sell for funds which is one thing I worry about, say if someone bought one of my crafts and chokes or suffercates etc etc.

Clio

Hi Clio - Just to say that if you make something for a charity the safety problem transfers from you to them once they have accepted the goods. I'm not sure how it works if you are, say, selling them and then donating the money to a charity. There is information here which you might find useful and it will put your mind at rest http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php't=5137720

I have worries that get out of hand too. Catastrophic thinking perfectly sums it up. CBT might help you overcome this. This explains what catastrophic thinking is http://mhinnovation.net/sites/default/files/downloads/organisation/catastrophic_thinking_and_how_to_stop.pdf

Taz x

[clio]

CLKD.....I have stopped making one of my crafts which is sad cos I enjoyed making them but I now make an item for a charity that they ask for volunteers to make them they even have had them tested for approval.  They send you a tag to fix to them so they are CE approved, there are loads of them so I can hide mine amongst everyone elses or send them anonymously, this way im doing something for the charity but also I wouldnt have need to worry.  I was going to take out my own insurance for the other things I was making to sell but that would mean my profit for the charity would be spent on insurance so what was the point and you can only charge so much for stuff otherwise no one would buy.  Also clkd if you have made something and given it to someone as either a gift or for the to sell your still liable up to 3 years after, I did some research.  Trying to do something nice can sometimes cause you problems......shame really isnt it.

Everyones mum.....I stopped watching the news too its to depressing, I would love to live in a small village inthe country and close myself off from the outside world as I really dont like how the country is run and all the horrible things that happen, ,yes, there are nice things that happen too but I feel its only a small percentage.

Health, familey and money I can understand someone worrying about but I dont seem to worry about that its anything that might put me in jail or someone comes to get me its awful.  It even effects my dreams, last night I dreamt that I was putting the rubbish out and some kids came to talk to me, keeping me distracted whilst there friends went into my house and swapped there mobile for theres as theres had broken,  I panic as I hadnot logged out of face book and I had not done a pin for the fone    I woke up in a really distressed place, the dream before that, still the same night I dreamt my dog got out of the garden and I couldnt find him, I sometimes wake up with my heart racing surely this cannot be good for me, plus my dog died 5 years ago so what was that dream about. 

The lastest thing im worried about is the inside of my house falling in,  the lady we bought it off has lived in this house for 25 years however the chap who had it before made some changes in the house which looking at it now dosnt seem was a good idea, what the hell is holding the ceilings up?? hes hacked away most of the middle walls.  My husband said that  (1) if it was unsafe he wouldnt  be lawfully allowed to sell to the lady we bought if off and she wouldnt be allowed to sell it to us (2) it would show up on the survey you have done that it wasnt safe and (3)  after 27 years if there was a problem it would of fallen in buy now or moved and is hasnt.

I worry all the time 

Clio

[clio]

Morning Taz, thanks for the post and info I will take a look.

Clio

[CLKD]

Clio - did you buy privately without a Survey? if you have a Mortgage then there would have been a Survey.  I suggest if you are worried about whether you need RSJs etc. that you pay a Surveyor! or go back through the paper work, Deeds, Solicitors letters to see what exactly went on!  Supporting walls can be exchanged by RSJs but may be expensive if they are required at this stage.

Making a list each evening helped me focus.  I would tick off 'stuff' and could see what I had actually achieved each day.  Helped enormously! I have always made lists - before holidays, for shopping, which maps I need for journeys [before GPS] but I would worry about not finding a Service area in time for a wee 

DH often tells me if I didn't have an actuality to worry about my brain would find one    …… but I was raised in a dysfunctional household from age 3 so my anxiety levels are acutely tuned ……. old habits die hard 

We are also at an age where our peer group begins to change marriages, children leave home, people die ……. which can cause niggles, 1 I can deal with, too many and I'm anxious again 

You are not alone!

[clio]

We bought through an estate agent, had man that told us what to do and saw to everything cos we didn't know anything, had a survey done and from what I can remember he mentioned some damp and crack at front of house that according to adjoining neighbour had been there years. All in all everything OK but will have a look at the paper work.  Surely the surveyor would of seen inside the house and the changes that had been made in the house. I'm sure there is something in place where the wall use to be its been covered over with a wooden thing so can't see what's inside. I'm sure there is a steel pole thing but say if its wooden and we have wood worm it going to collapse!!!

Surely bank wouldn't give us a mortgage if the survey was bad

'O dear'

Clio