My biggest challenge seems to be accepting I am in menopause - it has come out of the blue for me, all sorts of questions and changes have followed and it feels like a jigsaw puzzle that needs putting together again with a few changes.
I have been reading a lot of posts about anxiety and other adjustments to menopause and thought to share these words here and hope they are of use to some of you 
I found them on an Australian website and thought they might be a good reference point when I lost the thread of what is going on!
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Emotions
The hormonal changes during perimenopause and the time after menopause can cause emotions to change quite quickly. Emotions can swing from joy one moment to anger and irritability the next moment. Sometimes you may think you are feeling one thing when really it is a mask for another feeling. For example you may think you are angry when really you are sad about something. Often it is easier, or more acceptable, to display one emotion rather than the emotion you are really feeling.
It is important to pay attention to your emotions and consider how you are really feeling.
Menopause can be an emotional rollercoaster
Depression, anxiety & menopause
Hormonal changes may be a small part of the causes of the depressed mood and anxious feelings women often experience around the time they become menopausal.
Identifying what is a menopause symptom and what is ‘true' depression or anxiety can be confusing. Often anxiety symptoms get worse with menopause because of a heightened sensitivity to symptoms. What might start as a hot flush might lead on to an anxiety attack.
In turn, the symptoms of menopause, such as hot flushes and night sweats, can affect mood and make some women feel depressed. Many women kept awake at night because of night sweats find they are exhausted, can't think clearly and feel more negative because they have had little quality sleep.
Depression and depressed mood around the time of ‘natural' menopause (51-52 years in Australia) is more likely to occur because of factors other than menopause including:
* prior episodes of depression
* significant stress in your life
* a negative attitude to things happening in your life
* dissatisfaction with your relationships
* low self-esteem
* poor body image
* poor lifestyle such as little exercise or a high intake of alcohol[/li][/list]
Emotional health during menopause is also more likely to be influenced by previous experiences of prior traumatic events like past sexual abuse for example. Women often seek counselling at menopause and want to work through traumas they have previously experienced. This time of life seems to allow things to come to the surface.
Research suggests women who have a surgical menopause and/or an early menopause are more likely to experience a clinical depression than women who have a ‘natural' menopause. This seems to be caused by the more sudden change in hormones that come with a surgical menopause and it may also be related to the illness that caused the surgery in the first place such as a cancer diagnosis.
Reactions to menopause
Some women perceive menopause and midlife as stressful experiences. You may have a sense the person you once knew yourself to be before menopause, has changed. You may not be as sure of what to expect from your body or your emotions. What seemed like a body you could rely on and trust is now breaking out in a sweat at times you can't control and you don't know when to expect more changes.
How you react to menopause will depend on many things including:
*the type of menopause you have – whether it is ‘natural', expected and on time, early, as a result of surgery or chemotherapy
*your age
*your stage of life and whether you have done the things you wanted to like have children or all the children you wanted to have
*your mental health – whether you have been depressed or anxious in the past
*whether you have achieved the things you wanted to achieve – do you have an identity and purpose you are happy with?
*how you view your body and feel about the changes that are happening to you
*are you as healthy as you can be and taking care of yourself?
Sometimes it is hard to know if the hormonal changes of menopause impact on your life or if your life impacts on how you experience menopause.
Managing psychological symptomsWhat to do?
If you are troubled by strong emotions ask yourself:
*What is the real cause of your feelings?
*What is the real feeling?
*Are you masking a feeling that you feel uncomfortable expressing?
When it comes to stress, try and identify and challenge the thoughts or inner voice that makes you feel stressed. It can be helpful to:
*identify what makes you feel stressed
*rate stressful situations out of ten
*remember it is okay to just accept you are feeling a particular way and you are not bad, silly or crazy for feeling that way
Sometimes if you don't waste energy fighting a feeling, you can feel better faster and calm down faster.
If you have been worrying about your mood, stress, emotions or body image there are also many other practical things you can do:
*Discuss your symptoms - This might be with a doctor, psychologist or a trusted friend or family member.
*Seek to understand the symptoms you are experiencing - Keep a diary – this can help you identify what is a menopausal symptom and what is more likely to be symptoms of anxiety and/or depression.
*Take time out for yourself and nurture yourself -So you have the emotional energy to do other things you need to do.
*Get quality rest if you can -Fatigue can make you more prone to anxiety and lowered mood.
* Get moving -Activity can help with mood as much as it can help with physical health.
*Recognise the things in your life that recharge you and ensure you do them regularly -A deep relaxing breath or a walk with a friend, making time for a chat with a friend, sitting in the park or in the garden, a movie, a relaxing bubble bath, facial or manicure, or making time to do whatever you want to do.
*Learn and practice relaxation - So you can reduce the impact of stress in your life.
*Think about your inner voice - What messages is it sending?
-If your inner voice is overly critical, or demands perfection, or is depressed or anxious you can feel bad about yourself
-Challenging the negative inner voice is important
-You might find positive affirmations can be helpful – such as “I can do thisâ€
-Come up with an affirmation that means something to you
*Do a regular emotional audit
-Is there an issue that's been on your mind?
-Do you have a plan to do something about it?
-What can you do and how might others assist you?
*Take time out to think about what's going on in your life and how you can best manage it.
*Are you suffering from a clinical depression or anxiety Check out the symptoms and seek help if you have been experiencing them for more than 2 weeks
* Think about your own role/s. Is there a good balance? - Women who have a role or a number of roles that they feel good about, have less menopause symptoms and are more satisfied with their lives.
Self management techniquesThere are techniques which can be successful in helping to deal with depression, anxiety, stress and poor body image
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)CBT involves recognising the unhelpful thoughts that influence depression and anxiety, replacing them with more helpful thoughts and using relaxation and breathing techniques to reduce the impact of the physical symptoms of anxiety. Recent research suggests that CBT can be used effectively to help manage hot flushes. For more information on CBT go to anxiety.jeanhailes.org.
RelaxationRelaxation is a skill that needs to be learned. There are different techniques that can help you to relax and knowing the one that suits you is best. For more information on relaxation go to anxiety.jeanhailes.org.au
MindfulnessMindfulness training teaches you to focus on the present moment and not get so caught up in your thinking. It is also important to reduce stressors as this can set off anxiety and depression. Mindfulness is a technique that can be learned and incorporated into your daily life to help manage anxiety and improve your wellbeing.
Other therapies
Severe depression and anxiety can respond to treatment with medication such as antidepressants in combination with ‘talk' therapy from a registered psychologist or psychiatrist.
