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[honorsmum]

1. Are there any books you'd recommend on the peri/menopause?
2. What counts as "irregular" periods? Cycles that vary in length from one month to another? Or periods that go awol for weeks/months? (my cycles vary between 21 and 28 days, but my GP says that as long as I'm having regular periods, there's nothing to worry about - I'm confused.)
3. Does evening primrose/starflower oil help with the anxiety part of peri?
4. Is my mother right when she says once you start HRT, you're on it for life??

[Dancinggirl]

I'm sure other will be along with answers for your questions but I'll have a go:
1. This site is the best source of info re peri and post meno that I know. I think Dr. Currie has done a book which will probably be worth reading.  There will be info about this somewhere on this site.
2. Irregular periods would be just as you describe.  Periods that are longer or shorter in duration and either closer together or further apart. If your periods used to be pretty regular but are now sometimes closer together and then you sometimes get a longer gap between then they would be described as erratic or irregular.
3.Many women find evening primrose/starflower helpful and these things are known to help balance hormonal function but they will not really prevent the gradual drop in oestrogen levels.
4. I'm afraid your mother is wrong. HRT is primarily used to help women through the peri meno and early post meno phase when symptoms can be at their worst. Every women experiences the menopause differently and taking HRT will depend on how badly you are effected by the menopause symptoms.  I'm not sure exactly what the percentages are but I believe around 40% of women have few if any meno symptoms so sail through and they don't need any HRT.
Using HRT is a personal choice, how long you use HRT depends on various factors and HRT  doesn't suit everyone.  There are quite few different HRT preparations and it can be trial and error before you find the one that suits you. Once on HRT it is reviewed regularly with a break usually recommended after 5 years to see if symptoms settle.  At the moment 60 is seen by many doctors as the age most women should stop HRT however the latest recommendations do say that a women can continue with HRT beyond 60 if the benefits outweigh the risks. Any risks are now thought to really only kick in after the age of 60. Whether you take HRT or not, without HRT some women find their menop symptoms settle in few months or a couple of years, while a small number experience symptoms for 5 or more years and sometimes for the rest of their lives. I believe that 5 years of HRT in our 50s is now thought to offer good long term protection against osteoporosis and heart disease.  HRT will certainly help to prevent vaginal atrophy and bladder problems as well.
I hope that is helpful but I hope others will correct anything I may have got wrong or missed out.  DG x

[honorsmum]

Thank you, DG - lots of info!
My mum is 80 and apparently breezed through menopause, but tells me her friend in her 70's can't come off HRT because all the symptoms come back. I did say I thought HRT today was probably very different from years ago when my mum was going through meno - just like the new generation Pill and anti depressants.

Once again, it seems my GP is dismissing my symptoms, re irregular periods. After my children were born, my cycle was strictly 28 days, and even at the beginning of last year, it alternated 24 and 25 days - since the summer, it's been any length between 21 and 28 days (31 after coming off Cerazette), so irregular.

2 more questions:
Can you have low oestrogen but still be oestrogen dominant?
Has anyone found acupuncture or reflexology any help with things like insomnia and anxiety caused by peri?

[Dancinggirl]

It doesn't make sense to have low oestrogen and be oestrogen dominant. It is the lack of oestrogen that gives us the meno symptoms.
I believe that some women find acupuncture helpful but you would need to find a very reputable practitioner and it is expensive.
The only thing that has helped me regarding poor sleep has been HRT.
We often say on MM that "Quality of life" is terribly important. Lack of sleep is torture.
If meno symptoms are dominating your life and preventing you from leading the life you want then it is worth trying HRT - even if for only 6 months to see if it helps.  Worry about coming off it when the time comes.  The peri stage can last for some years and the oestrogen levels don't bottom out until about 2 years after your periods have stopped completely.  Only you can decide whether you want to try HRT - keep researching, asking questions and make you own informed decision having weighed up the pros and cons.
Keep a diary of your symptoms for a few weeks - it often helps.  DG x

[peegeetip]

1. Are there any books you'd recommend on the peri/menopause?

loads of books but I've saved myself a fortune with this site    there is a lot of people trying to make money out of others problems.

2. What counts as "irregular" periods? Cycles that vary in length from one month to another? Or periods that go awol for weeks/months? (my cycles vary between 21 and 28 days, but my GP says that as long as I'm having regular periods, there's nothing to worry about - I'm confused.)

Dont be. Anything that moves away from the standard cycle is irregular. Your doc is just plane Wrong!

3. Does evening primrose/starflower oil help with the anxiety part of peri?

there are other posts on these oils. have a look with the search facility on this site.

4. Is my mother right when she says once you start HRT, you're on it for life??

your on it as long as you want to be.
if you come off it and you still get symptoms, your one of the unlucky many who will continue to have symptoms. those who start and continue through meno years without symptoms or the chronic issues that our drop in hormones can cause are in the minority sadly.

 

[BrightLight]

Hi - now that I know I was in the process of my ovaries failing for all of the last year, I can confidently share my opinion that if you have symptoms of anxiety regardless of whether your GP is 'listening' to you about your own intuition and wisdom re peri menopause please focus on the anxiety.

I have had a tendancy to anxiety most of my life but have always managed it myself and usually only been really challenging during big life changes but......in the past 2 years it has got much worse and quite different from how I had experienced it before and none of my usual 'talking myself down' rationalising the issue helped.  I did not know what the issue was for a start - it was just out and out fear.

My GP did and still doesn't not take this into account, so the cynical me says that you will need to find what works for you on this front unless you want to try medication.  I started with a routine of learning to breathe properly, using phone apps or other guided excercises were really helpful for me, calm.com has 2/5/10 minute sessions with positive focussed themes.  I approached it lightly, just added a couple of 5 or 10 minute sit downs a day to start with - taking this time out and growing confidence to know what calm feels like in my body has really helped.  Despite the random days - mostly first thing in the morning where I can feel scared and anxious and adrenalin fueled, I mostly remember that at some point I will return to base.

Aside from finding your own little relaxation, focussed breathing time (could be stretching or yoga type things) I also have regular accupuncture.  Again, it gets me into balance and reminds me of my 'higher' wisdom head and not the fearful one - I do sleep better after too.

For me, the anxiety and all the heat symptoms remain reduced if I am calm, so I focus on this key area as my stabalising point.  I also try and drink plenty of water and stay hydrated.  Stress hormones will increase inflammation in the body and just generally make everything 'heat' up and whir around - this hormonal 'storm' is really something - I had no idea!  In my calm moments, I like to think it is an opportunity to come to a place where one no longer feels so overwhelmed by out of control feelings or situations. 

I do believe if I had known that I was experiencing perimenopausal symptoms and understood this affected my anxiety I would not be in such a challenging place right now.  I thought I was going mad or some other physical illness was coming upon me & generally felt overwhelmed as I didn't have a grip on what I was dealing with.  So now I choose to strengthen the anxiety management part of my life and hope to god the rest calms down.

Saying all that, I had 4 hours sleep last night and a terrible morning anxiety wise - but, it passed and I had accupuncture and felt back in touch with myself.

I haven't read any books - I can't seem to read/focus much at the moment

[carrs]

Hi honorsmum. If you are approaching the age when menopause is likely to start, then your GP is right. If you have "normal" periods but every 3 to 4 weeks, then that is a common start to the perimenopause. It's a nuisance rather than a real problem. They may then become much less frequent, before they stop altogether. These are all normal variations. This is different to irregular bleeding, which might be spotting or a bit heavier than spotting in between periods, and needs further checks from your doctor. If you wish you could keep a diary of anxiety times to see whether they have any connection with your cycles.

[Dancinggirl]

Hi Brightlight and welcome to MM
Thank you for sharing your story.  I think it is very helpful to hear strategies that women use to help them through this often tough meno journey.  You have built up a form of cognitive behavioural therapy(Mindful Meditation) that is very useful for many things in life and can be so positive and empowering.
I recently had a one year break from HRT to see how I coped and I did find your type of Mindful Meditation very helpful, however, in the end the lack of sleep did start to encroach on my ability to work and function well through day. Since I went back on HRT 8 weeks ago I get some quality sleep that keeps me functioning as I know I should be. I'm 58 - soon to be 59 - I am using quite a low dose of HRT so hope I can stay with this until I have to stop work. I am still practising the Mindful Meditation as it pulls you into the present and alleviates stress.
I think your post gives such a good description of a way to cope with anxiety, whether you use HRT or not, so I hope it is inspiring to others.  DG x

Keep posting.

[honorsmum]

Thanks for all your replies - all extremely helpful.

I am beginning to see a pattern to my sleep/anxiety problems, I think. For example, my period arrived on Saturday, but I slept better in the 2 nights beforehand and 2 or 3 nights afterwards. Now I'm on day 6, I've gone back to waking sometime before 6am, heart racing, adrenaline pumping, brain whirring - the horrible morning anxiety. It also seems to coincide with low blood sugar issues - my appetite was normal all weekend but has steadily increased as the week has gone on.
I will keep tracking everything for a few weeks.

BrightLight - we sound very similar. I know exactly what you mean about it being a different sort of anxiety. I have had anxiety in the past (as a side effect of various long-term stressors) but been able to manage it with self-help, relaxation etc.
Also, it tended to come on when I woke naturally in the morning, wouldn't involve palpitations and would pass if I got up and carried on my day.
Currently, it hits in the early hours when there's no chance of distraction, and is all-encompassing.
I am practising mindful meditation several times a day, including before bed. It has certainly had an affect on how I cope with day to day stresses and worries. I have a lavender bath just before, take all sorts of vitamins and supplements, walk my dogs every day, try to drink enough, eat well etc but it seems to be having little effect on the night times.

My GP won't entertain the idea of peri, so I am pretty much decided that I will see a private specialist - I'm dragging my heels slightly, still hoping things will improve given time.

[Rowan]

Before the Change: Taking Charge of Your Perimenopause by Ann Louise Gittleman ( you can get it on amazon) or try you local library, there will be some books there.

Irregular periods are as you say,  Cycles that vary in length from one month to another. Quite normal in peri menopause.

Not sure if Evening Primrose can help with anxiety, but it does have health benefits and in high doses can ease breast tenderness.

For some women coming off HRT it can be a difficult , symptoms may return they find they can't cope and go back on HRT. Others find their symptoms are gone and they feel fine.

Menopause without HRT, symptoms will probably ease eventually, the process can take about 10 years.

It all depends, some women sail through menopause without HRT, others need it, either way its what is right for you personally that counts.

In a sense we are all estrogen dominant once we are in peri menopause and progesterone starts to lower, you can have low levels of estrogen, but if you produce no progesterone to  counter it then technically you are estrogen dominant.

Acupuncture and reflexology can be very relaxing therapies, the therapist is paying attention to you increasing oxytocin and that in itself can lower cortisol levels causing you to relax and lower anxiety.

I have tried to answer the questions you asked and hope they will be of help.

[honorsmum]

Thank yo, Silverlady.

Would a doctor be happy to prescribe HRT based on peri symptoms only, without blood tests? If so, would it be trial and error to find the right balance of oestrogen and progesterone? My GP has only done a FSH test,3 months ago, at a random point in my cycle and the results were normal.

I feel a bit lost - my GP is saying it's all anxiety, which I'm not happy to accept, but at the same time I'm wondering whether seeing a private consultant may force the issue of peri, if that makes sense? My GP previously misdiagnosed me with anxiety 5 years ago, when in fact I had Crohn's - and the knock on effect of treating a symptom and not the cause was months of misery and more and more drug prescriptions (sleeping pills, diazepam, higher doses of antidepressants) which just made things worse.
I don't have any friends who are going through this that I know of, and my sister who is 10 years older than me, is only just post menopause - which makes my experience seem early. She had peri symptoms for about 7 years - so maybe 3 years later than I am.

[Dancinggirl]

honorsmum
If you go to see Annie I'm sure she will assess you completely - not just on blood test results but as a whole person.  This is why paying for professional advice is often worth it.
When I had my private consultation with the gynae I wrote/typed out a brief medical history, a list of my symptoms and the questions I wanted answered - I do this with most doctor visits these days so I don't forget things or start to gabble nervously - it usually makes the appointment go more smoothly and leaves time for discussion.
You seem to be weighing things up really well - it's good to read different opinions so you can take or leave what you want. It's also good to go into doctors appointments really  clued up so you can have proper discussions about what is best for you.
You mustn't compare yourself with your sister - you may be from the same gene pool but she may have got a different set of genes.  My mother had a premature meno and so did I. Neither of my sisters had premature menopause.  This just illustrates how different we are.
You sound very sensible and sorted actually - I'm sure you will take some professional advice and perhaps consider trying HRT at some stage if you feel it's right for you.
DG x

[Rowan]

Dancinggirl has really replied to your question, some GPs will go on the symptoms you have other GPs on blood tests will are not really accurate as they only hormone levels at the time of the test.

If you are able to afford to see a private  specialist they will listen to you (you are paying) assesse  and advice and suggest what they think you need, but be mindful that on top of consultation fee they will charge quite a lot for on going  treatment, though some will write a prescription that you can get on the NHS. I have done this, I took it to my GP and she wrote out a NHS prescription.

[honorsmum]

Dancinggirl has really replied to your question, some GPs will go on the symptoms you have other GPs on blood tests will are not really accurate as they only hormone levels at the time of the test.

If you are able to afford to see a private  specialist they will listen to you (you are paying) assesse  and advice and suggest what they think you need, but be mindful that on top of consultation fee they will charge quite a lot for on going  treatment, though some will write a prescription that you can get on the NHS. I have done this, I took it to my GP and she wrote out a NHS prescription.

Looking at Dr Annie Evans' site, it looks like she would advise my GP after the initial consultation, so hopefully I would get NHS prescriptions (and I live in Wales, where they are free).
Thank you for your advice and knowledge - so helpful.

[honorsmum]

I've bitten the bullet and booked in to see Dr Annie Evans in March. So pleased to be able to see her.