Hi and Welcome HorsesHorses
I am now 58 and my menopause started in my mid 30s. I was advised back then that it was extremely important I use HRT as our bodies are supposed to have oestrogen until we are at least 50.
I'm afraid your doctor is not giving you the full picture and I feel you should be referred to a menopause clinic or gynaecologist to be given some more sound advice. I do understand your fear of HRT - I'm afraid the press have had a field day over all the scares but as usual they haven't covered the benefits.
I would like to emphasise that HRT is not really a drug - if you use HRT you are simply replacing the hormones your body should be producing. Without HRT the long term problems for the bones and heart can be serious if you suffer early ovarian failure as you and I have. Like you, I had young children when I was diagnosed peri meno and it was important I was in good form to be the mother I needed and wanted to be. My mother had an early menopause as well and I remember her being so bad tempered and difficult we had to tip tie round her carefully - I certainly didn't want my kids to feel that way about me.
The breast cancer risk may be an issue but as Hurdity has said, how close are these relatives? What type of cancer was it? How old were they when they had the cancer?
If your relatives were sisters or your mother and they had breast cancer quite young (maybe in their 50s) then this may have to be taken into account. I believe HRT brings a
lower risk of bowel cancer and also ovarian cancer - I could have go this wrong but you can check about this.
In real terms the risk of breast cancer is very small and only applies if a women is taking HRT beyond 60. If you were to take HRT until you were 50 then you would probably be no more at risk of cancer that any other women not on HRT. If you don't use HRT then you will be at risk of developing early onset osteoporosis which can be crippling and also heart disease - so if HRT is not used you will need some advice about how you can support your body to prevent these problems. Like you I resisted HRT for a about a year after I was diagnosed but as the symptoms worsened I went back to the surgery and my GP was very relieved when I did decide to take it - she said to me "if I was her daughter she would be insisting I use HRT".
These days there are the bio identical HRT preparations which it is believed carries fewer side effects and risks generally. I used Oestrogel for most of my time on HRT. I had Norethisterone for 10 days search month alongside this gel to bring a withdrawal bleed but these days Utrogestan is preferred as it is also bio identical.
I had a private appointment with a very eminent Gynaecologist just a couple of days ago to get his advice about how I should proceed from now(aged 58) into my 60s. It was reassuring to here he thought I had been given very good advice and treatment until now. Despite using HRT I still developed Vaginal atrophy quite early which is a typical menopause symptom ( you really don't want to get this too young) and this will require local oestrogen treatment probably for the rest of my life.
Do read up all the info under the headings to the left of this page - there is also a website supporting women who experience premature menopause which is very good:
http://www.daisynetwork.org.ukDo keep us posted Dg xxx