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[CLKD]

Join The Club Dandelion 

[Dandelion]

Join The Club Dandelion 

Aww sorry to hear that.
I dunno where my vomit phobia came from.
I remember as a kid, i would remember the dates i vomited for years after.
I remember vomiting in school and I was horrified, it stuck with me for years.
The worst part is when you know your gonna be sick, but it takes ages and ages to come up, and your there with a watery mouth and a churning stomach.
Sorry to go off the subject of fears around hrt and meno.
My fear is not getting enough hrt for what I need.

[CLKD]

We have a thread on emitophobia  if you do a 'search' .

[oldsheep]

Hugs to all you anxious ladies out there x

What a waste of our energy it is.

[tabbycat3838]

Hi folks
What frightens me is losing my love of life,my sense of humour being unable to care about or be interested in other people as i feel more and more squashed,mentaly and physicaly.
watching wrinkles appear over night..acting(even more) lol like jakyl and hide on a roller coaster and possibly losing precious  relationships and alienating myself (even more)from the whole of society because of it ..the paradox of feeling like life "should" be only just beggining like i planned yet ,it feels as though my dreams of finally finding some kind of peace in my 40s are  being snatched away along with my choices.(no more kids)even tho i dont want any more.(that should still be my choice lol)
Feeling younger at heart than ever! and so many things  to do yet feeling too exhausted drained and uncomfortable to enjoy those things.
frightened of having nothing to give or offer anymore.that this peri meno crap is just the beggining of an end im definitely not ready for.
Frightened of my own anger  resentment and guilt towards myself about all of the extremely depressing and self indulgunt sounding stuff above!it really cant be helping things much...

[tabbycat3838]

oh and that HRT might make  all of the above even worse..and then what..!

[TropicalVon69]

I feel the same Tabbycat...this year I was feeling the best I had and felt like life for me was goin to be positive.....this peri has brought me  literally to my knees and frightened

[Dancinggirl]

tabbycat - I think you have summed up the fears that many of us feel through this time.
Fighting the feeling that the meno is the gateway to old age is really tough.  We need energy to fight off the ageing process and the meno robs us of that energy.

Don't be frightened of HRT - it can and does help many women - it can take time and perseverance to find the right HRT for you but the benefits do outweigh the negatives for many, many women.
Though I did have some side effects when using HRT, they were still worth putting up with for the benefits of fewer flushes, better sleep and more energy.
DG x

[tabbycat3838]

Tropicalvon DITTO..last year i was the happiest ide ever been and i worked so hard to be in that place  then BAM...!i accept that life isnt fair..but c,mon..this is taking the piss!lol.

DG ..i love your replies..insightful helpful and slightly calming..!
Im sure i will probs give the HRT a go..and if anyone asks..its my "contraception" patch..

I think distraction helps too..i always feel a hell of a lot worse if im out of work i wonder if you all notice that too??
gotta keep going eh guys :-) x

[Hurdity]

tabbycat - you will find some peace once your hormones have stopped raging! You will then stop raging too! Like Dancinggirl says - don't be afraid of HRT - this will help you - but you need to find the right type.

I have gone through the turmoil and come out the other side - but I am still on lowish dose HRT at 61 and happy with it. I may have a few more wrinkles than I did, and definitely get way more tired, but now that the children have mostly gone I am doing all sorts of things that I've never done (like going to Africa and Glastonbury Festival) and rediscovering things I used to do years ago like going to live music gigs and other festivals, natural history and bird-watching, and still working part-time.

It is not the beginning of the end - you will change but you should be able to find peace! Do not despair! 

Hurdity x

[babyjane]

Hurdity is right, half of my 40s and over half my 50s were horrible I didn't recognise myself at all and I am surprised my husband is still here to be honest.  But just this year as I come to the end of my 50s I seem to be coming back and I am really hoping that my 60s will give me back what I felt I lost. I know I won't be like I was in my 30s but to have stability and peace and to know myself and be happy with my husband and family and enjoy life, that's all I ask instead of the constant turmoil.

[CLKD]

Turmoil - that's a good word.  I began getting depressed in 1988/9 which was intermittent for years  ….. the medication helps. 

I would hate any of my meds to be stopped - ever.

[tabbycat3838]

Well hurdity ,thats very positive to hear..i guess "logically" i know there must be hope somewhere.?Im happy you are out having fun!you deserve it after enduring this awful stuff!
I really think the fear stems from the reality that we have no real control over aging,and that what has been got away with in the past no longer applies!its kind of like having a millstone round your neck ..realising that its really time to make big big changes "if" one wants to make this transition as smooth as it can possibly be.
thankyou for your kind words hurdity.

Baby Jane i can definitley see where you are coming from especialy the not recognising yourself part ,ive always been a really up and down kind of person but the lows im getting are just stranger than ever ,ive usually had various chemically induced reasons for feeling low..wheras this is not ..it is my own"natural" chemicals this time ....so it makes me feel very out of control .. sorry you had such a hideous time all those years..that must have been extremely hard.fantastic that you are feeling more like you again now..maybe a "new"you...:-)

ckld glad the meds help for you .:-)

Huge appreciation to all..!x

[babyjane]

kind words tabbycat, thank you. It's in the past now. I can't get those lost years back but I can try and get the best out of the years to come.  I know every day won't be jolly but just a little glimmer of light reminds me that there is life after menopause.

All the very best to you too 

[Dandelion]

The only thing with antidepressants i have found over the years is that they stop working and can be a bugger to get off involving withdrawal symptoms, anxiety being a big withdrawal symptom.