Hi Karenja,
Have you any close friends that you could comfortably off load to? And they to you? It helps to talk to someone who really listens to you. They don't need to advise you or tell you what to do. Just by talking you come up with answers or reassurance yourself. If in distress, try the Samaritans. I used their service years ago, to great benefit.
Can you do a different kind of exercise, something like yoga, which helps with breathing and taking control. If you do, tell the instructors about your panic attacks before you start, so she/he can support you. Be honest with people. Most people will help. I am spending a few days in London. I have a phobia about height. I don't cope with the long escalators, so I avoid them if I am on my own. Unfortunately the lift was locked, so I asked a kind looking couple if I could travel up with them on the escalator. They were incredibly kind. It took courage to ask, but there are many caring people out there willing to help. Don't be afraid of asking for help or of making a fuss. You're not! You are not alone, so reach out.
What are you interested in doing? I am having singing lessons. This is the most important thing I have done for myself and it's just for me. I feel more complete following up something I have always wanted to do. Doing something just for you will help you in so many ways.
I think most people fear death. It is the unknown. I have taken comfort in reading a book by Anita Moorjani which I think is called 'dying to live'. I haven't got the book with me. She had a near death experience, which is similar to other peoples. Very readable. Maybe this might be a pleasant read for you.
I wish you all the best, Ju Ju xx