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[tabbycat3838]

Hello ,all you amazing,couragous females.
Ive decided to reignite my membership here as i have been given the news recently that my life is basically over!(Perri meno)
I really need to find somewhere to vent and moan and be actually" allowed" to just feel  pissed off and talk about how pissed off i feel,without being made to feel bad..or like im being a baby who just enjoys feeling like sh**every day of her life on purpose!   
I have been feeling rediculously under parr for atleast the last 10 months or so and initially i put it down to my extremely stressful job as a care worker and ongoing almost unbearable pressure and financial stress in my personal life which has been pretty relentless for the last couple of years,i finally "burned out "around 4 months ago after contracting about 3 viruses in a row with no break and having various issues with my heart(episodic tachiacardia) since xmas i had had about 4 viruses one on top of the other..i nearly passed out at work and went to see my gp who told me my blood pressure was low and ordered bog standard blood tests.
All of which cameback "normal" exept for signs of perri meno...i had also had had a skipped period at this point.
I preceded to spend a month in bed with various horrible and disturbing symptoms and i just couldnt believe that perri meno could makea person feel THAT ill!! But nothing else showed up at all and all ecgs are normal too exept for one which showed a slightly long qt which has since dissapeared..
anyway,needlessto say i had to quit my job which was no bad thing as it was horrendous anyway,although obviously added to already severe financial worry and trying to find work in this climate is a joke ..all made much harder when you feel like youve lost your vitality and vivacioucness and have nothing much left to give anyone.
Anyway,i absaloutely hate this..my kids cant stand me because all i do is get sick..i am in the middle of virus number 7 of the year right now!and all i seem to do is be in bed on and off as i burn out so quickly.they are fed up with listening to me moaning ..and to be honest im bloody fed up with them too and resent their lack of understanding ! even my friends i can tell are a bit distant as they are probly perplexed by their normaly loving, giving ,inteterested and empathetic mate being  suddenly and selfishly unable to really give that much of a toss about everyone elses lives,(of course i do ,i just struggle finding the energy to show it) and always going on about what procedure im having to have next and what  debilitating new virus i now have.
Im just wondering....why the  bleep did no one ever teach me /us at school about how hideous this meno shi**actually is?
I mean im completely shocked ..honestly!
Also,is this "really" ..."normal" ?? to feel so down,so physically unwell,as if you are no longer yourself,and like you are dying..just because of a hormone imbalance?
Any answers would be massively appreciated...im 42 by the way..ive had a really difficult life and after doing some "work " on myself i was really ready to absaloutely embrace my 40s and enjoy them..and even though ive already had my kids  and all that platitide stuff .now i just feel robbed yet again,like im a teenager having a tantrum. And like its all "downhill from here"
just to say...i am usually the one who is positive and upbeat.the one who people come to advice for,..and although can be prone to anxiety and depressions like everyone else..this negativity and bonkers (not in a good way)behaviour im feeling is really upsetting and the guilt is horrendous aswell..Even the woman in the local shop said "why are you always,getting ill?..its not right"lol (because of my coughing and wheezing )i said"well apparantly its coz of menopause.".and she said "well it shouldnt bloody be making you suffer THAT much ..thats not "normal"
Would love to have some feedback if you havnt already killed yourselves reading through this
And wish everyone well!

[mandy43]

Well Tabbycat, here's your mate!  I'm going through hell with the symptoms:  sweating one minute, shivering the next, crying, shouting, boobs are massive all of a sudden, jelly belly... you name it, I have it!  What I will say with regards to all the viruses your picking up, are you looking after yourself?  I take evening primrose, starflower capsules, vitamin e tabs and kelp.  I also eat loads of fresh veg and fruit and exercise for 2 hours a day... I do the 10,000 step challenge, which is basically walking or jogging or both if you can 5 miles per day.  Touch wood, it has really staved off the usual things I would pick up off the kids.  So, I would say, you need to start looking after number 1, because without you the house of cards will fall down.  Stay strong and remember, it will end, you just need to stay positive and battle on xx

[tiger74]

Hi Tabbycat

Just to say I'm sorry that you're feeling so fed up and awful.

I guess this is good place to vent your feelings without fear of being judged or bossed about.

All the best.

[CLKD]

You vent away! 

Have you had a thyroid function test recently?  Even if it comes back 'within normal levels' there may be need for treatment.

Stop being all things to all people  .  This is 'the change' you are going through, add to that money worries, young family to raise ……… enough to send any one to bed for a long time!

This too will pass.  How 'good' is your GP/Practice Nurse?  I felt really ill at times from age 11 ……. worse in my late 30s.  Eating correctly helped ease symptoms of irritability, panic, nausea, intense anger …..

[tabbycat3838]

Oh wow!thanks so much for the replies so quickly!i feel better already haha..
Thankyou tiger ,i appreciate it..i so need to just let rip a bit.
And Mandy..have we met before??lol..
When you tell meabout your symptoms i guess they sound kind of menopausy?? That is obviously NOT taking away howshit you feel! what i mean is, i have all this weird stuff like severe gastric pain /indigestion that im on omeprazole for and have to havea biopsy ..the burn out stuff and constant illnesses..deep aches pains ..bone and muscle..womb pain like yanking pulling lower back kills.anxiety,feeling cold but burning in face.ive even lactated !!
i dont always look after myself i have to be honest because i do like an all nighter once every couple of weeks or something and can burn candle a bit..but absaloutely not enough to warrant my "suffering"i eat healthily always have ,liketo swim and walk ,and boogie..but i struggle to do that now!every time i start a fitness regime i get hit with yet another "illness"so end up floored and unable to continue..its extremely frustrating,especially because as you know,exersise really does help to just take the edge off!i take vitamins incl iron as im defficient ,and was taking evening primrose but ibe stoppped all of it because of the stomach stuff..
I know you are totally right in all youve said..just gotta get on with it i knowthat..but its nice to be able to express how i feel ,and that is..im NOT READY!!! ..thankyou so much for replying mate X

[Mrs January]

Hey Tabby cat

You vent away hun any time on here. We all have incredibly  rubbish days and need support ....so lets us know and share , seek as much support as you like. Yes we all understand how hard it is

Love n ugs

Mrs January xxxx

[honeybun]

Sorry your so down.

Can you really put illnesses down to meno. Yep it makes you feel rubbish but I suspect there is something else going on to make you unwell all the time.

Doesn't bother me but you might want to delete the F words from your post before the moderator sees it. People have been asked to leave for less and you sound as if you need a place to vent....so.....


Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

You've answered your own question.  'not looking after myself' …….. and 'all nighters'  ………. slow down Girl and listen to your body 

[tabbycat3838]

Thankyou sp much CLKD ..why have you felt bad since 11??is that all hormonal related??and yes your spot on about the thyroid stuff...i dont understand why gps waste resources testing people with a test that they know doesnt work!
plus as we knowtheir ranges for things are completely rediculous and general.
my gps i have now,are reasonably good and better than any iveseen in a many years so i feel grateful.
My kiids are older..22 and 14 but in some ways thats worse..they are way too concerned with themselves!
You are right about not being all things to all people..i think this situation forces you into not being that anymore..but in some ways thats a loss aswell ...
thankyou :-)

[tabbycat3838]

hahacthanks for that..i kind of assumed theyy would **** the swearing out!
I will modify swearing now honey bun and yes i agree that theres something else thats not quite right too;-)

Clkd.i guess im in a little bit of denial because im having a tantrum about getting older..i just dont feel ready to give up having a party because i still feel young in my heart? Im absaloutley sure staying up all night raving will not help things tho and i guess i need to grow up and accept its time to calm things down drasticaly.

Thankyou so much Mrs January :-) i guess this is what this place is for...minus theswearing like a builder!lol xx

[mandy43]

Tabbycat, I've suffered with my stomach for about years now.  It is knawing all the time, I have awful belching and I have never had the camera down as I'm scared of stuff like that... but I manage it by eating little and often.
And don't worry about having a blow out, everyone should, we need to let our hair down, otherwise we really would go crazy.  I have four children from 20 to 5, so I know how hard it is.  I'm 44 and so not ready for the change yet, but my body obviously is, it's come very quickly and fiercely.  Don't let it all get the better of you, oh and get your b12 tested at the docs.  I was diagnosed as being low in it when I was 35 and have to have injections for it.  One of the symptoms is stomach problems, as well as extreme tiredness, buzzing feet and feeling like your going mad... ring any bells?

[tabbycat3838]

aww thankyou mandy :-) you really have your hands full!i feel for you..maybe the distraction of having younger kids helps?....or not!?
i think what you say about coming on feircely describes exactly how this feels...its shocking.so you havnt really been able to work out what your stomach stuff is then is it painful?i have read that alot of perri women seem to have digestion problems.
the stomach pain i get is excrutiating ..my belly will suddenly puff up and the pain is indigestion burn x 100, goes into my back ,down arms even into my head..i cant breath its really agony and im pacing round the house begging to make it stop and crying like a baby!.i think they suspect an ulcer..and to be honest so do i..im with you on camera thing!..im annoyed that drs wanna cut bits out of us and shove things down our throats without really trying other avenues first...like a breath test for h pylori and a scan lol..atleast that rules out anything obviously dodgy and isnt truamatic and invasive!i feel traumatised enough as it is right now.
thanks for pointing out the b12 thing..i was mildly defficient years ago and also in iron..my b12 was on 270 or something but is around 470 i think now??..so on lower end depending on whos range it is...but not worrying..ferratin is 50 which is still low..and has dropped from 60 in the last few months..i know exactly about the mad thing and awful symptoms with those low levels although still feel mad just for different reasons!...have you got your levels up now and what would you say was optimal for you?x

[Kathleen]

Hello tabbycat and welcome to the forum.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are having a rough time, as you know hormones are incredibly powerful and I know how rubbish they can make us feel at this stage in our lives.
You've already had some great responses to your post and believe me there will be plenty more in the future as everyone is so knowledgeable and supportive, you are not alone.

Wishing you well, take care and keep posting.


K.

[babyjane]

hello and welcome to the forum, you really are in a rough place just now aren't you. Obviously I don't know you or your situation beyond what you have told us, neither am I medically trained but reading your posts I get the feeling that there could be a touch of depression in the mix, not full blown clinical depression but an imbalance of brain chemistry after all you have been through with your health and situation. Regarding your constant picking up viruses, your resistance could be low after so much and a good vitamin and mineral tonic like Floradix might be helpful but don't take my word for it although it helped me. I had a lot of viral illness 10 years ago and was left with post viral fatigue which took a while to leave me. It meant I was vulnerable to picking up other things too.
I hope you have a supportive doctor and I am finding  this forum is a great safety net to bounce off when you are feeling up as well as down. I wish you well. BJ

[tabbycat3838]

Thankyou kathleen,itw been lovely having these responses as it makesyou feel a bit less alone in everything.i have a handful of beautiful friends bur as we know everyone has their own stuff going on ..im a single parent aswell and things have been an incredable struggle personaly the last couple of years,i truly believe the stress particularly from my various jobs in care, has triggered this early meno.when you are giving out so much emotionaly,mentaly,economicaly and getting very little back,theres zero balance and  i think eventually its gonna floor you in one way or another.i kind of feel that everyone just takes, and along with that a little piece of you gets taken along with it every time.I know that we only "allow" these situations to a certain degree and i guess now is the time to get selfish where its possible!
Its kind of a relief to know that actually feeling like this is kind of a common theme...and i knowi will get over it and through it..i guess its a grieving process really but i do feel blessed that i have my kids and am not dealing with this because of any medical issue which must be really hard for any woman to have to deal with.I think i had it mapped out that i would probably go through this "later" lol so was pretty unprepared  particularly as i feel quite young still..im suremany feel the same! and not to mention completely uninformed!..hey ho thas life !ive had my 5 minutes of brattishness ..just got to get to the acceptance part now!
Thankyou so much for your reply..x