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[Kathleen]

Hello Ladies, can anyone relate to this?

The extreme emotions I seem to be getting with the menopause are really frightening me, I don't recognise myself at times. I was never a particularly volatile person and maybe I'm not very good at expressing how I feel so the very fact that these feelings are so strong makes me panic, I just don't know how to deal with them.

I am actually post meno and using patches but I wonder if they are helping at all. I've woken up really angry and panicky this morning. I am so sick of this emotional roller coaster.

Any thoughts or comments ladies would be appreciated, I feel I'm really struggling at the moment.

Wishing you all well.

K.

[dulciana]

Kathleen, I can relate to what you're going through.  I can snap at my husband at the slightest thing and I never used to.  I often don't recognise myself and I feel really bad afterwards for snapping.  If anyone used to be snappy, it was hubby - now he's a lot calmer but the cross words are out of my mouth before I know it, and I end up weepy and apologetic.   Also, we lost our cat recently and I cry a bit every single time I get out of the bath, because she used to come and snuggle up to me whenever I got out of the bath and sat in a towel.   Let's all be emotional together!     

[caz24]

Hi Kathleen

Isn't it strange how one day you can wake up feeling calm and ok and another so angry and wound up?

I am perimenopausal but I know that I have changed and I don't like this new side of me. I was always so easy going but now I can be so snappy and aggressive and I know that I'm doing it but I can't stop myself. That panics me! I work with a guy who said that he split up from his wife because she changed beyond recognition whilst going through the menopause. I was shocked when he told me that but I'm sure that can't be the ONLY reason surely not?

I hope that by talking on here that you see that you're not alone with your feelings x Hope your day gets better x

[CLKD]

HORMONES  ........... my deep depression frightened the wits out of me  .......... it was like being 2 people 

[cheekygal]

Hi Kathleen

Yes, I can relate to what you are going through, It's the horrible anxiety that's worst for me, plus muscle and joint pain, all put together making me have bad health anxiety to.  I was back at GP yesterday who said the anxiety and shaking could possibly be hormone related, and again offered HRT, however I am not convinced he is that clued up on it as he wanted to give me premique a few months back, and after reading about it, I am not sure that would be the right one for me.  For now he is happy for me to have  diazepam twice daily, which is the helping me a great deal, as I was heading towards being housebound again.  Some days I still feel like I am going mad, hopefully thngs will settle down in time for all of us. x

[honeybun]

Sometimes you have to put coping mechanisms in place and work at them.
I have had to work really hard.

I had an evil temper and my marriage was in trouble as my hubby did not recognise the person I had become. I went on patches which helped a lot but not completely.

I now remove myself from situations in which there is a chance I might blow. I count to ten and then I zip my mouth closed.
It's getting to be second nature now and I have become a much quieter person than ever before.

You have to find a way......any way....to control it.


Honeyb
x

[caz24]

Honeybun, that is really good advice and I will try counting to ten, as you say I will have to try really hard to do that.

I also try to remove myself from or avoid situations where I might blow but that's not always possible is it? That's when the anger scares me, it's overwhelming and feels like someone or something else has taken over my body. Thanks again for the advice x

[Hattie]

Cheekygal

I think stress of some sort also brings on the anxiety and shaking too - like worries over your bad health.

I also have a pet theory that stresses/traumas/emotions that you might have had in the past and you dealt with at the time are then triggered again by some sort of other stress during menopause and you are in a worse position to cope. The brain stores a lot and is a powerful organ.

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies and thanks for all the comments.

I felt better yesterday evening but once in bed I had one of the worst nights of my life. At 4.30 am I woke drenched in sweat and in a terrible panic and I pretty much stayed in that state until this morning. I've continued to have some night sweats through the menopause but that one was super intense. I don't understand it, I've been using patches since January and although initially the dose was low I'm on 75 mcg now so surely the sweats should have abated? I've also been using Utrogestan vaginally but now I'm wondering if I need to go back to taking it orally to try and balance the oestrogen.

I'm so confused, I don't know which way to turn, all I know is that yesterday I was an emotional wreck and so far today I feel a physical wreck, I've calmed down but can barely keep my eyes open.

You ladies are always so helpful and supportive and I appreciate your opinions so if anyone can think of something that may help I would be eternally grateful.

Take care and wishing everyone well.

K.

[CLKD]

The sudden hot flush can raised adrenaline = panic.  Even knowing what causes mine doesn't help at the time because it is so physical.  I shake so much I can move the bed 

Keep on the regime you are using.  Why were you prescribed Utrogestan vaginally, if for vaginal atrophy then keep taking it!

I had an evil temper which still flashes up .......... the guilt from past incidences haunts me to this day 

[Anjia]

I really agree with honeybun on this  x

[countrylass]

Very sympathetic with the extreme emotions! I've been getting some of that too and it's really horrible.

The other day, I was on the verge of sacking a client because she wouldn't agree with me that an unused bit of ground at her place would make a perfect wildflower meadow. She thinks it's a mess of weeds, I think it's a haven for wildlife. I was livid about it and kept having to remind myself that she's 93, has different ideas and anyway it's her land.

I've got a couple of ways of coping with my bursts of fury -

I make a point of telling my partner and anyone else that might take the brunt that I'm in a foul mood and to please bear with me because it isn't him/them. Often just saying out loud how I feel will reduce the feelings and help me feel a bit more normal.

I go outside with my secateurs or sickle and do a load of cutting back in the garden - there's always something that needs doing out there and the exercise helps to calm me and I feel good about having achieved something useful.

I just try to accept how I'm feeling and tell myself that 'this too will pass'. In the end it does, even if only for a short time.

[honeybun]

Bet your partner is very glad you take the sickle and secateurs outside with you 

There's me advising to count to ten. I had to count to twenty today as my hubby annoyed me so much. We went to watch an air display that was taking place at a nearby town. Just one little plane. We parked the car and walked to the prom. We were a little early so hubby decides a walk down the pier would be good, not only that he wanted to watch the display from there. No big deal for some but I hate piers with a passion. They make me feel disoriented. He KNOWS THIS, after all we have been married for nearly 30 years. Why make me feel feeble. Spoiled the day for me and if I had not made it to twenty I may well have shoved him off the pier.


Ok rant over 


Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

I don't go Honeybun - I send Himself alone ....... quite happy me, watching the World go by 

[countrylass]

Bet your partner is very glad you take the sickle and secateurs outside with you 

He's got his own 

Ooh, not fair, honeybun! Not sure I'd have complied and would have stayed by the prom.