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[ladybird]

My GP took me off HRT cos I only have one poorly functioning kidney.  I was great on it and gutted to come off but he said my BP could rise even tho I'm on BP meds.  Since February my dh  had major surgery, nearly died and had CPR twice in 3 days, my mother had brain surgery the same weekend and has rapidly advancing dementia so my dad needs lots of support and my 15 year old son got dx with type 1 diabetes.  I have 4 autistic children too. I cry a lot and feel so sad. I wake up shaking. I'm too hot all night and get a vibrating feeling inside me. My moods swings are so bad today while I was out my dh and all my 5 older children ( his stepchildren) decided to  move out together! They've changed their minds but I just feel devastated, unloved, ugly and horrible. Does anyone know any natural remedies to  help my mood and stop me crying all the time? I can't talk to the GP.  He's no idea. I can't talk to anyone.

[Dancinggirl]

Hi ladybird and welcome to MM
Big hug - what a tough time yoga re having.
You need some professional help and if your GP isn't giving you the support you need is there another doctor at the practise you could see?  Perhaps chat with a practise nurse?
If there are good reasons for not taking HRT why not try one of the SRRI drugs that could help with the flushes. You can find info about these under the  green section ' Prescribable non-HRT' to the left of this screen.  Many women use these and do very well.
Do read up all the info under the headings to the left of this screen - the more clued up you are the better - it's very empowering.
If you go to your GP with a print out of what you have just put in your post he/she would have to do something to help you - you sound really at the end of your tether.  I'm a great believer in writing things down as the doctors can't ignore things in writing as it's evidence. At my last GP appointment I wrote everything down that I was worried about and a series of questions and I actually got what I needed.
Keep us posted. DG xxxx

[Ju Ju]

Just to add a 

You have a lot to cope with, even if you hadn't health issues of your own. DG's advice to take a written list of symptoms, family issues you are dealing with and questions helps to the doctors. I have found most doctors react positively. If you don't want to see your usual GP, can you see someone else in the practice?

[thorntrees]

Hi Ladybird
I have only just joined the site and have nowhere near the experience of some of the ladies here but maybe I can help a bit by telling you my tale. Over the last few years I have been through a few traumas,cancer treatment, death of my mum,youngest daughter moving to Canada.All the menopause symptoms of sweats anxiety tiredness hit me in force.My GP was sympathetic but HRT was a no no as I was already 60+ and all she could offer was citalopram-an SSRI.She said there was some evidence that they can help with menopause symptoms and it was worth a try. I was really reluctant but also desperate so decided to give it a go at a dose of 10mgs.After a rough few weeks of side effects I now seem to be feeling the benefits of fewer flushes and night sweats so
not so tired and thus a bit less anxious.I realise they are not a long term solution but for now I am just grateful for some relief.If you decide to give ADs a try I hope they work for you. Would send you a hug but not sure how to find the symbols yet!

[Dyan]

Ladybird and

[CLKD]

  both!

Ladybird - 4 autistic children in 1 family: are they your birth children?  Whatever you need support from the NAS! Most regions have an area support worker.  Give the Office a ring tomorrow!

How old are they?  You tell us that they moved out but changed their minds  ……… out means out, I would be having 'words' big time.  I think you need to have a good chat with your husband and explain that this time of Life is known as 'the change' - issues will arise that you have little or no control over. 

Has your GP referred you to a renal surgeon for discussion on caring for your 1 remaining kidney?  Perhaps an up-date consultation is due?

Do your parents live close by?  What agencies can your Dad access - the Alzehmiers Society might be a starting point for him.  Of course he requires support but currently you have enough to deal with.  What ages are they?

Thorntrees - away to your GP and ask why 60+ is the cut-off point?  Discuss in depth the risks etc. and tell her that if your symptoms become worse you would like to try HRT.  Maybe there is a Meno clinic close by?

Have a read of the menus - left of screen.  Keep posting!

[thorntrees]

Hi CKLD, don't want to hijack Ladybirds thread but my GP reckoned that as I had never been on HRT starting post 60 was not a good idea so thought I would try the ADs and see how it goes- good so far, but thanks for caring.

[CLKD]

Oh I do! and I hate it when GPs stick to 'the rules' - we are all individuals and what's more important - quality over quantity  and it's only by taking ladies over the 60+ rule that we find out if actually, it's going to be dangerous!

[ladybird]

Thanks for all welcomes, your replies and advice. Yes all the children are mine. It's my two youngest who are autistic ( one also diabetic) and my two eldest. ( aged 22 and 23) I've never had any support from NAS or anyone else for that matter  and I home educated all of them.  All are at college or university now except the 15 year old twin boys so it's easier now. One has moved out. I've 7 altogether. The older 5 ( dd's fiance lives with us too)  wanted to  go with their step dad  cos we discussed splitting up. Only the twins wanted to stay with me. It hurts but that's kids.     We aren't splitting up now as we've resolved things  so they are all staying here with both of us until they finish college and uni.

Parents are 84 ( dad) and mum's 73.  He has someone coming in to her but it's difficult. I don't live nearby but am in constant phone contact which can be wearing at midnight.  I have regular blood tests for my remaining kidney and see a nephro from time to time. It's been struggling but one GP thinks it was the ACE inhibitor that caused that not the HRT.  Another GP disagreed.   I will write down the symptoms and ask about the SSRI.  I don't like any of the GP's but will try. Thanks

[Ju Ju]

I am very lucky to have a young up to date caring GP, who recommended I see a private gynaecologist, who she had worked with. Yes it was expensive, but worth it and the gynaecologist sends follow up letters to the GP. I don't need to go back unless I need to and I can arrange to talk to her by phone. My GP issues my prescriptions, apart from testosterone and does the required check ups. I am 60 and have been told I can take the low dose HRT forever. I hope this gives other 60 year olds hope!

[Cassie]

Hi Ju Ju, that is encouraging, may I ask what HRT you are on?

[CLKD]

Thanks for the up-date.  It seems your children are coping and achieving?  Of course people never do what we expect them to so perhaps their choice to go with their SD was a shock?

As for your parents, is your Dad a 'healthy' 84 year old, maybe suggest that he can get support from the various organisations and that it would help you if he had a chat with them?  If you sort out which ones then hand him the details so that he is in control ….. also, do they have a Social Worker to mediate the various support available?  Does he get carer's allowance etc.?  Does your Mum have regular visits to Hospital for check ups? Most hospital have a PALS set up so asking there for advice might be useful to you all.

How is your 15 year old dealing with the diabetes diagnosis?  It's an age when often they don't want to acknowledge that their life-style is likely to be different from others ……… so finding a mentor might be useful.  When your DH had his health problems earlier in the year, you must have all felt upset (within the confines of the autistic spectrum) …… what follow up has he had since?

Does your Surgery have a Practice Nurse or a Prescribing Nurse you could chat with?

[ladybird]

Quick update.... I'm fine now.  Dh and I have decide to divorce and once  I pin pointed I was upset cos of his drinking, lack of care of me, put downs, emotional close offness...you name it  I realised most of my  menopause  symptoms were due to feeling down cos of him.   The divorce is already going  through as we've lived separate lives for years and I feel 100% happier. Older kids are moving out on Friday too.   So new beginnings for me.  I feel about 35 again and looking forward to the future.  I've lost 4.5 stone in weight and feel great in myself too.  I've been asked out 7 times but refused cos I'm not ready but it is flattering that at 53 I can still "pull" lol.

[Ju Ju]

Lovely to hear from you and so glad that you are feeling so much better. Isn't it amazing how our emotional state effects our physical health? It's wonderful that you have been able to end your unhappy marriage and give yourself a new start. And wow! Losing 4.5 stones? That is amazing! Well done! How did you do that? 

[Greyhoundgal]

Lovely to hear your update and glad you're feeling good about everything.  Well done on the weight loss as well    Hope life keeps treating you well, keep us up to date won't you?