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[LAL34]

Back at my desk....I was off yesterday with a migraine, mainly caused by the pain and aches in my arms, shoulders elbows and neck. I have just written my sickness self certificate and I feel so angry with the world that I just put down "Menopause"!! Two years in perimenopause (I am 44) and this was the first day off I had because of it, I was in a bad way for several months last year and have had a few months of feeling slightly better, but it is getting worse again during the last 2 months. My boss looks at me as if I am making it all up, I thought I could just say I had a stomach bug but then thought, hold on why should I!! There are millions of women my age with the same problems, why should we cover up things that are unpalatable to some, so I shouldn't have to hide it! Suffice to say ladies and gents ....I am having a bad day!! 

PS - Does anyone else find that noise from people, telephones and televisions (and generally) drive them to distraction at times.

Ok moaning over, now on with the day... I do have a lot to be thankful for  

[Kathleen]

Hello LAL34.

I know what you mean about the menopause making you feel so angry with the world, there are times when I could throw back my head and scream. Hormones are powerful and will not be denied!

Hope your day improves.
Take care.

K.

[Galadriel]

Hi LAL34,

I with you on the noise from surrounding stuff and people. It gets on my nerves  I usually end up with my earphones in and some relaxing mix on just to block everything else out!

When I was having a really bad time last year (didn't take any time off - just dragged myself from one end of the day to the other) I had a one-to-one with my male boss. I told him everything and didn't spare him any details. He wasn't surprised or shocked. 
Turns out his wife is going through similar fun times. He arranged for me to work from home on the day I have psychology so I don't have far to drive to the appointment. What a nice man. 
I now have a new young male boss - he seems to be just as cool with it.

Mind you - I think I shocked people last night at a charity committee meeting when they were looking to me to do yet more stuff and I said 'no'! The look on their faces when I told them exactly why was actually very funny. Made me laugh 

I'm with you - I'm refuse to cover up this part of my life.

<steps off soap box>

Galadriel x

[Dancinggirl]

Hello and Welcome to MM LAL 34
Many of us on here can really relate to how you are feeling.
If you have been peri meno for the last couple of years why hasn't your doctor recommended HRT? Do tell us more about your symptoms - migraines and aches and pains are typical and I assume any periods you are having will be causing problems (perhaps infrequent or close together, heavy or light and prolonged?).  Do you find you get really nasty headaches before a bleed?
If you have been diagnosed as peri meno then at 44 you are going through meno too early.  It is very important you use HRT, if you are oestrogen deficient, until your early 50s( at least) to protect your heart and bones.  Do read up all the info under the headings to the left of this screen so you are fully clued up.
If you are now having to take time off work because of meno symptoms then your life is being affected and HRT would certainly help.
The menopause is still a taboo subject for many. At times I will talk openly about it and I can see how uncomfortable people are. I find young women simply don't want to know. However, it's amazing how many women really open up when I talk about it!!!
Please don't beat yourself up about having a moan - you can always come to us for a moan, we'll understand.  DG xxx

[peri]

I struggle with noise too, I especially don't like the adverts on tv so every time they come on I mute the tv x

[honeybun]

Anyone else find themselves becoming quieter as they get a bit further into meno. I can't be bothered with unnecessary chatter.
I used to be able to talk for my country but now I am happy with silence.
Hubby has always been quiet with me being the talker. Now we can go long periods of time saying nothing.
When my daughter moved home I found I had to make a real effort to chat as much as we used to.

I like my quiet time....Not sure what's caused it though.


Honeyb
x

[LAL34]

Hi and thanks for all your replies, Thanks Dancinggirl for the advice, I saw the doctor about 11 months ago and she did not offer anything apart from Amitriptyline for the joint pains. I have been considering  going back as my symptoms are changing from month to month and my periods are very strange and almost non-existent at times and getting worse again. It would be good to know if they can give me something to help and reading your post makes me realise that it is worth trying. Thanks again for the replies and letting me have a bit of a moan, when no one wants to talk about it, it makes you feel a bit isolated sometimes. Take care everyone. x

[CLKD]

Depending on how large the firm is for whom you work, they should have an occupational health dept.

However - ask for an hour with your boss in private and give it to him/her straight - explain that whilst this isn't an illness symptoms can be debilitating.  Print off the 'advice for husbands' from here  if appropriate.  You only need to justify yourself where your symptoms may affect your work load, so being honest from the start and getting support is important.  Lessens any frustration!

You cannot be sacked for any of your time off for symptoms.  Make a list for your GP/Practice Nurse too!

Let us know how you get on!

[Lady D]

Think I must be one of the lucky ones having just explained my symptoms to a couple of people at work ie, they were both very understanding and supportive.  One is female so I gave her more detail, the other male (aged 39) who I work very closely with I just said "health issue relating to being a woman of my age" couldn't bring myself to say the "M" word to him  Although given my main symptom is tiredness it was easier to explain to him than hot flushes or period problems!

I've never been able to cope with too much noise but don't tend to have this issue at work as no tv, radio, music etc allowed and very little chat as we're all so busy!

Hope your boss gets his head round your problems soon!

[CLKD]

I started a noise thread here ……… 

[Linsey44]

I work in admin post within a large organisation that supports people with learning disability, so you would think it would be a supportive environment for staff as well as our service users.

I was off 10 weeks last year having a hysterectomy then very recently was off work for 5 weeks having ovaries and tubes removed then having to adjust to surgical meno at 44.

My female boss told me on more than one occasion before i had ovaries out that i could use my time in lieu i had accrued doing extra  hours before my op to keep my sick level down.  My immediate colleagues have been great and said no way should you do that as we are entitled to paid sick leave.

I took sick leave and now in line with company policy i have to attend formal absence meeting and could probably get a written warning for my absence as both ops were within a year of one another.

Not exactly motivating stuff! Some of your bosses and companies sound more understanding.

[CLKD]

Linsey - do you have a Union within the Company?  I would get your Contract looked at by a Solicitor! that way you can't be bullied.  You cannot be sacked for having time off, it would be 'constructive dismissal'. 

[Linsey44]

Hi lal sorry to detract from your thread.  I find that I cant stand a lot of noise from tv, music etc, but cant pinpoint exactly when this started but with hindsight prob around peri meno. Think we need to tell bosses to get a life!

CLKD Thanks for your concern, honestly i dont need a union rep just yet anyway, wont be dismissed at moment. My immediate colleagues and i think its a farce and we laugh about it.  But it does irk me that after many years with little or no absence bar a day once a year or so that its just your last 12 months thats taken into consideration.

Reason i had 2nd op for ovaries was i discovered i had BRCA2 mutation and it was risk reducing.  I didnt want to wait until I had a clean absence slate!!!

[Lady D]

I think you need union involvement or at least advice from a solicitor and/or citizens advice because NO WAY is it right to get a warning for being ill!!!  My advice would be to get advice fast on this before any wheels are set in motion regarding warnings etc.

[Morwenna]

Sickness 'monitoring', applied when absence levels reach 3% within any 12 month period is standard practice in the NHS now. It doesn't make a difference if the episode is covered by a doctor's certificate. In addition to this, the time off is 'investigated' to look for 'patterns'. I was subjected to this when off with a herniated disc in my back two years running at exactly the same time of year (total coincidence by the way). I even returned to work before I should have done to try and keep my sickness levels within acceptable limits, spending up to two further weeks hobbling around the office dosed up to the eyeballs on painkillers. Major surgery, Menopause, protracted illness or simply malingering - all treated the same. It's outrageous