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[Hattie]

Just to say that on a tip from my sister we recently tried meat from Aldis - some of it is British - the beef and pork we had was excellent - not going anywhere else now - she also recommended their venison steaks but not tried them yet.

[Joyce]

The venison steaks are lovely! Better quality than stresscos & cheaper.

[CLKD]

Honeybun - you could tell your Mum that you are fed up with being her carer and that your memories of her are being ruined.  That you will not be cooking as she doesn't appreciate your efforts.  Remind her that you are not getting any younger either ……. or take your husband with you  …..or you can continue to let her push your buttons which won't do your health any good ……… do you and your sister 'agree' with how things are currently?  I agree with the idea of putting Aldi meat into an 'up-market' container  and see if she notices.  91 she might be but old habits die hard!

[ariadne]

I agree with the idea of putting Aldi meat into an 'up-market' container  and see if she notices.  91 she might be but old habits die hard!

I got that idea from my Mum. When my brother and I were small, my brother insisted he could only eat Lurpak butter for some reason so she bought one pack and then just re-wrapped the cheap butter in the Lurpak wrapper.

Ariadne xx

[CLKD]

  ………. whereas my cousin can't bear butter at all, can't have it on the table near to her and would never eat it  ….. phobia 

Honeybun - how do you want the situation to alter?

[honeybun]

Well not doing all the cooking is a start.
If I did not do her housework then I am still obliged to go and visit every other day as that's what sis and I agreed on. If I did not do the inside work she would ask me to do the outside stuff. I have already been asked to paint the garden fence and gate   

I am better just continuing to do what I do minus the meals but I know that won't last as we have been down this road before.

What I would really like to do is move far far away and visit twice a year 

Now I know that's not going to happen.


Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

Visiting twice a year is more stressful ……… because one is waiting for that 'phone call  and as long as you and your sister 'get on', at least it can't be said in years to come, 'you did more/less than I did' ……. my sister keeps well out of the way (fortunately  ) ………

If your sister gets fed up with cooking is she more likely to get a good response from offering up the Wiltshire Food catalogue  - in the mean-time, see who is local who can cook or Meals on Wheels? then you will have a trick up your sleeve ……… 

[Limpy]

Honeyb - Really hope you can get things sorted out with your Mum.
Not having to do all the cooking sounds like a good start. She seems to have been giving you grief for ever. Well, for as long as I've been on this forum, ok that's only about two years but long enough to form an impression of her.

How is your sister coping?

[honeybun]

She copes ok Limpy. Much like myself I think. She is almost 14 years older than me so she is not as fit as once she was. Mother does not really give her a hard time. She is far too reliant on her. It's a difficult thing to explain. I will always be the youngest child in both their eyes. Big sis is the one that is in charge. She is the boss and the rest of us are supposed to do as we are told. Except me as I rebel  , always have and always will. It drives them both up the wall.

She has been giving me grief for years and years now. Mostly I try to turn off but it's not getting any easier that's for sure.


Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

Family dynamics are fascinating  - 14 years is a huge gap so she is used to bossing you! how about you turning round with the 'no' word  ……..

[Limpy]

Honeyb - Please make sure you do not end up doing housework or cooking on Sunday.
Hope you have a good day.

Just seen CLKDs post - as always she has a good point.......

[CLKD]

 

my sister is younger and rules me completely which is why we don't meet ……..

[Trey]

My mother is a total classic narcissist and my younger sister a total classic narcissistic supplier.  They deserve each other.  After years and years of attention, gifts, 24/7 nursing care for several months many times, I have given up and speak to neither.  My life is so much better, even with the sad realization of what should have been.

[Joyce]

Seems to be a common problem, my mum gave my brother a hard time. So hope I grow old(er) gracefully & my kids don't come to loathe me. Just thinking about it breaks my heart.

[honeybun]

I think as you grow much much older the filters in your brain that stops things coming out of your mouth that shouldn't just goes.
I have watched this process happen with my mother over many years. She just speaks without thinking.
She has regressed to being child like.
Mind you she has always had a very strong personality and has been very indulged and spoiled. There was always a mean streak there which was mostly controlled but now is just let loose.
She was a very good mother in many ways and always put mine and my sister's needs first when we were young but there has always been the need to control which I always hated.


Honeyb
x