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[ellie]

Did anyone watch the programme last night about the age gap between couples?
    It was very interesting, and personally I don't have a problem with it, as long as they are happy and not harming anyone.
     Thoughts anyone?

[honeybun]

There was ten years between my mum and dad. There is ten years between hubby and me. My 19 year old daughter is currently going out with a man who is 12 years older than her. Now I do have a bit of an issue with that but I don't have a leg to stand on without being a total hypocrite.

I did not really notice the age gap until the past few years. Hubby is slowing down a lot now. I am very aware that when I am 59 he will be turning 70 and I don't like it at all.
I used to tease him that he only married a younger woman so he would have someone to push his wheelchair. I really hope that the words that were spoken in fun 30 years ago won't actually come true.
If I had to go back I would still do the same but I do wish the age gap was not so much.
This worries me for my daughter because I know she could face the same.


Honeyb
x

[Sarah2]

I didn't watch that programme but it may well have been a repeat of one from a while back.
I'm afraid I am always slightly sceptical of huge age gaps in couples, especially younger man and very old woman, simply because the couples shown on TV tend to be a bit odd! The men seem to have had little going for them in their lives, not had many previous girlfriends of their age ever before, and have settled for a mummy figure.

I had a long relationship with a man who was 14 years older than me when I was 21. I think once you get beyond a 15 year gap then it becomes more significant because it's almost a generation if it's 15-20 years.

It's true that in many age gap marriages one person will be widowed young, but you never know what is going to happen however old you both are.

[ellie]

My hubby is seven years older that me, but so much fitter than me, and young looking for his age....
    One woman last night was 39 and her husband was mid seventies....now that is a big gap.....

[Rowan]

There is 18 years difference between OH and myself, like HB I wish there was not, I would not change him, just wish he was the same age as me 24 years ago it did not matter at all.

I have seem him through a brain tumour, pacemaker, heath scares, two life threatening, very traumatic, numerous hospital admittances and visits to A&E and the daily ailments, the drugs he has to take scare me.  It has clipped my wings and my once wide world very small now.

It is frightening seeing the aging process daily, to see a very handsome charismatic man age, at times breaks my heart. He still looks nowhere near his age  and he has a very sharp clear mind, that is a consolation, but I still wish we were more of a similar age.

[Joyce]

Only 2 years between hubby & myself. School chum married someone 12 years older than her & they met when she was 18. Son is 5 years older than his GF, but she seems much older.

[CLKD]

M in L was 9 years younger than F in L.  Never seemed to make any difference.  One can need to Nurse our spouses whatever our age (think road accident victims here) ……. I think the important issue is to make sure we can source the support required readily 'for when' and I didn't see the programme - too much else on!

[dulciana]

There's 7 and a half years between hubby and me, which isn't that much and anyway, I got used to my Mum and Dad being 8 and a half years apart.   I like it - makes me feel protected! 

[Limpy]

OH is 12 and a half years older than me, currently he is 68.

So far, he still has not grown up,  and is is a lot fitter and stronger than me.
However, we have started looking for houses that I could manage by myself, in the event of something horrible happening to him. Where we currently live has smashing views but is  isolated, old and not easy to manage. I find it difficult with my MS and couldn't cope there alone. It's not a nice thing to think about but has to be done.

We had a scare a few months ago when we thought he had something serious, that brought the age difference home. Though I suppose it shouldn't matter, s--t can happen at any time of life.   

[kes]

My husband is 6 years younger.  I watched a bit of that programme then got bored, as they didn't delve into the things I'm interested in - ie the psychological slant of big age gaps.  I felt that certainly with two of the couples I saw interviewed - (including the 78 and 39 years old) where the woman was much older - their men had a slight learning disability - absolutely nothing wrong with that - but there was probably a bit of the role of caretaker on the part of the woman.  The 39 year old man had gone straight from living with his parents to living with his much older partner.

I don't think there's anything wrong with big age gaps in relationships - God knows we're all just trying to make it through life - so whoever helps you is fine in my book. As a former relationship counsellor I did tend to see difficulties emerge with these relationships - often when one partner became older and the younger was put in the role of carer, more and more.  I also think it can be problematic where the much older partner is seeking a very much younger counterpart as a way of denying the ageing process in themselves.

[honeybun]

No one got a toy boy then 


Honeyb
x

[Joyce]

Not any who'd have me. 

[honeybun]

I don't think I would want one to be honest. Anyone other than hubby seeing my saggy bits really does not appeal    I really don't think he notices  . Pretty sure I could run about naked and he would not bother.


Honeyb
x

[Joyce]

There you go again, streaking. 

I wouldn't want anyone seeing my flubby bits either. Don't think mine pays any attention either, unlike years ago. 

[Limpy]

My 19 year old daughter is currently going out with a man who is 12 years older than her.

Honeyb, I don't know whether this will set your mind at rest, but I met OH when I was 18...................