A man died and went to heaven. As he stood at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked "what are all those clocks?" St Peter answered: "Everyone on earth has a lie clock - every time you tell a lie, the hands on your clock move.
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's", said St Peter - "the hands have never moved." "incredible", said the man, "and whose clock is that one?" St Peter responded "that's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice."
"Where's David Cameron's clock?" asked the man. St Peter replied "We're using it as a ceiling fan!"
