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[Pennyfarthing]

My elderly mum showed me what her grandson ... 26 .... Got her for Xmas. It was one of those hats with a bold design and big ear flaps which teenagers wear . Can you imagine a lady of 89 wearing that?

The other  year my daft SIL got mum a most horrible cardigan which came half way up her back and was in a hideous material and a repulsive colour. She's never worn it.

Also last year my brother bought her a DVD player which took my other brother nearly a year to find the time to connect it for her. Then he didn't show her how to use it.

Why don't people put a bit of thought into what they buy others?

I bought my Mum a beautiful soft leather purse in her fave colour and she was thrilled with it. I also bought her ticket to a show before Xmas ... Dominic Kirwan who she loves and we had a great evening out.

[KatieLiz]

Seems like all the 'zero thought' presents are what men have bought!

[Taz2]

At least they bought her something though. The DVD player sounds great but obviously if he didn't have the the time to set it up then it was a bit of a daft gift. Shame they didn't include gift receipts - she could have exchanged the cardi  and hat for something else.

I've got one of those hats - OH bought it for me a couple of years back - it's really cosy!

Taz x

[Rowan]

I had a friend who always gave me a "passed on presents" Christmas and Birthday, I always imagined she had a drawer full of things that others had given her that she did not like but kept just for that purpose.

The hurtful thing was that I took time buying and searching for what I knew she would like.

It took years to realise she was not a real friend and in fact what is called now an "emotional vampire"  she was always attentive when things were not going well for me, but let me down many times when I was happy.

I let the friendship go.

[Pennyfarthing]

At least they bought her something though. The DVD player sounds great but obviously if he didn't have the the time to set it up then it was a bit of a daft gift. Shame they didn't include gift receipts - she could have exchanged the cardi  and hat for something else.

I've got one of those hats - OH bought it for me a couple of years back - it's really cosy!

Taz x

That's the whole point though Taz. They bought her things but they were useless things so they might as well have not bothered.  Things like hairdresser vouchers, knitting wool vouchers, book tokens, magazine subscription, chocolates, nice scarf, fave perfume, tickets for a show, being taken out for a meal ... Mum is interested in so many things that she really is not hard to buy for. 

She was honest with me and laughed about the hat and said it was a stupid thing to buy her. Likewise the cardigan the other year was so horrendous that she shoved it in a drawer and forgot about it.  I wonder whether they even look at mum and realise that she loves certain colours which she chooses to wear and that she always likes to look very smart for her age.

[CLKD]

For many years DH's brother and wife gave me un-suitable gifts/cards.  Eventually I wrote a list of books/DVDs/stuff I really wanted and gave round his family - worked  ……. also I hate it when they ask if I liked/used the gift they gave me  ………. fortunately we don't meet very often so I don't have to be completely honest.

Like my sister - a bar of soap for my 60th 

[Pennyfarthing]

I spend ages choosing birthday cards and presents for family and friend.  I am absolutely thrilled when somebody gives me something which I know they have spent time choosing.  My knitting friends buy me lovely stuff .... Books, magazines, balls of yarn, fun stitch markers, tape measures.

[CLKD]

Like you Penny I appreciate if someone has taken the time to choose ……….. it's no longer 'the thought that counts' for me, I want actions or a token 

[honeybun]

Don't you think that some people just don't have the "gift" of giving a good gift.
Sometimes I struggle to find something different to give and end up giving the same old same old.
To me it really does not matter what I am given. The fact that someone has just gone to the bother of getting me something/ anything is enough. It's not easy to buy the perfect gift.


Honeyb
x

[Taz2]

It does seem thoughtless if they know her really well and are aware of her different interests. Not many young people would think of knitting wool vouchers though unless they are knitters themselves. Maybe next year you could give them each a list of things you think she would like. Better that than them buying her useless stuff.

Taz x

[Scampi]

I am not a 'natural' gift-giver - I find selecting gifts the most stressful part of the run up to Christmas (I actually ended up in tears over it several times this year - my best friend ended up telling me what to get for everyone as she is a genius gifter).

[CLKD]

But 'it' doesn't come round suddenly does it ....... I buy throughout the year, when I see something suitable it gets bought and put into a box in our spare room - years ago I used to wrap what ever it was but these days I forget what is in the packaging  .......... there's always catalogue shopping too, when very ill I had to resort to RSPB etc. and even had the gifts wrapped and sent directly.

[Pennyfarthing]

I am not a 'natural' gift-giver - I find selecting gifts the most stressful part of the run up to Christmas (I actually ended up in tears over it several times this year - my best friend ended up telling me what to get for everyone as she is a genius gifter).

Blimey Scampi ..... I didn't realise people got that stressed over it.  If I felt like that I would just stop doing it.

I only buy presents for people I really care about and if you really care about someone then you know them inside out.  You know their interests and hobbies, their likes and dislikes so it really isn't difficult to choose small gifts that they'd like. 

It is said that "it's the thought that counts" ...... Which to me means you should put some thought into what you buy people, not just buy something to cross it off your list.

[Taz2]

Even if you care about someone though and live far apart and don't actually get to see them then it can be difficult to know what they like or what they already have. I always ask my sons for a list as I have no idea what they have already bought for themselves and they do tend to change what they like and dislike quite often which is maybe the way of younger people? There are so many new things coming on the scene all the time that I find it hard to keep up.

I agree that some thought should be put into buying gifts but it can sometimes be difficult to choose something that suits.

Taz x

[CLKD]

Give a token then, or treat them to a meal somewhere they wouldn't go?  I haven't seen my nephews since 2006 and before that, for 15 years; so they have had a cheque each since they were about 12. They can then spend it on what they like.  My Mum, despite her problems, managed to get mainly suitable gifts for DH and me, wrapped with nice labels on.