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[dulciana]

Hi

Does anyone find that criticism and negative views from others go ridiculously deep at the moment, and that it knocks your self-confidence on the head?  I don't have a reputation for being the world's thickest-skinned at the best of times, but I'm sure I could have taken other people's negative attitudes and attempts to undermine me slightly better before this meno started.  Nothing to do with hubby, family etc. - just someone I've obviously rubbed up the wrong way by trying to be helpful and positive.  I feel a bit bullied but maybe the meno is making me stupidly sensitive...........I don't know.
 

[Joyce]

Hubby says I take things to heart a lot these days. I put on a brave face, but inwardly I'm in bits. It's mainly my two kids which cause it with me. They forget I'm not a spring chicken any more & if I am incapable of doing things, which were once easy, I either get a look or a cutting comment. But they're my kids. As for other people, I'm more likely to speak my mind now as I'm less patient.

[honeybun]

I definitely take things more to heart these days and am sensitive to criticism.
In the past I would have said nothing but now I am more inclined to speak out which is not always a good thing.
I do try not to get hung up over things but it can be very hard.

Honeyb
X

[CLKD]

Oh good topic!

I hurt for longer usually about issues I can't alter  .  As for kids making remarks etc.,  they would be called to order.  As they grow and want to be more adult, then they have to be told how to be that: adult .  My sister can crack concrete with her looks ...... a technique she mastered from a very early age 

[orrla]

I often wonder if it is me or people were kinder and more caring when I was younger I can hardly hear any complements or kind comments now days. I can't be such a witch! ... ? 

[CLKD]

I think in this more open mind set of tweets etc., where people hide behind modern technology, often they don't think before they open their mouths    ...........

[Joyce]

I fear an onslaught here, but I'd like to see you try CLKD. I bite my tongue because I love them & it's wrong to judge. They don't do it deliberately, it's because I'm more sensitive not because they don't know how to be adults.

[honeybun]

It's just a bit of lack of thought from children....well mine anyway.

Like you CG, mine still expect me to be able to do all the things I have always done when in reality I can't.
The remarks I get are not meant in an unkind way and I am sure if they knew that sometimes they upset me they would be upset themselves.

It's my more extended family that I struggle with because sometimes no matter how hard I try it's never enough and those are the thoughts that keep me awake at night.
I also keep my mouth shut as I know I am more sensitive than before .



Honeyb
X

[Kathleen]

Morning ladies.
Count me in on this one! My self-confidence is rock bottom most of the time which makes me nervous about doing many things. As for  criticism, yes it hurts and I am more inclined to answer back but then I instantly worry about the consequences.  I have friends who have a much thicker skin and I envy them. Hormones definitely play a part in this one.
Good topic, dulciana, I predict a deluge!
Take care.
K.

[Ju Ju]

I try not to get upset when I am treated badly. I try to remember that it is never about me; it is about the person who has behaved badly and the 'bad place' they are in. Their behaviour is not my responsibility: it is theirs. When it is closer to home I make it clear that I love them absolutely and unconditionally, but that does not mean that I will tolerate bad behaviour. When my son started to behave poorly as a teenager, I explained that this meant that if he committed a crime, I would report him to the police. However, I would support him through the whole process, visit him in prison and be there for him when he left prison. He has said this made him feel secure in my love and he has grown up a fine young man. I also remember that people have the right to ask me to do things, but I have the right to say no.

[orrla]

Well, if I am more sensitive - and it looks that we all are - why can't we expect others to respect it and be more careful?

 

[Joyce]

In case of my 2, I guess I probably should say more, but would rather stay schtum. They don't mean to touch a nerve. For instance when I had an HRT break a few years back, my daughter didn't understand my need for heat/cold & would get quite impatient with me. She didn't mean anything by it, but until she has experience of it, she won't truly understand.

[CLKD]

If they are not told that they 'touch a nerve' how can they be nicer people  ........... if you don't tell them they won't learn and we continue learning until the day we die ......... what's the saying, 'if you keep your ears open you'll learn something new every day'  ..... however, at my age, I don't remember what I've heard .......... 

[orrla]

I also think that this suffering in silence, without letting know someone 'touches a nerve', can lead only to ... more suffering... of us all. 

[dulciana]

Mmm - it's not my fault, it's theirs.  Absolutely.   Or, in terms of what pushed me into starting this thread, I can't help it if I can see the big picture and they can't.  Just leaves me feeling frustrated  and as though my hands are tied   .  Never mind - as long as I don't let it get me down next time I see them, I should be able to ride this one.  Thanks folks.  Makes me feel a bit cheered up.  I'll keep telling myself I did not over-step the mark.  Or, to quote My Fair Lady, "I'm a good girl, I am........."!