Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies, I feel like a moan I'm afraid.
Does anyone else find it impossible to relax? I'm having a rotten weekend, feeling very anxious and irritable and in the past I'd loose myself in a book or plough through the Sunday papers but I can't do it now, my mind won't let me relax and I can't concentrate enough to enjoy anything, even television last night was difficult. Why does menopause have to take away even the simplest of pleasures? So wound up I could scream.

I started counselling recently ( my friend, Lorraine has been offered CBT but I'm trying privately for now) and I know it's early days but part of me was hoping for a miracle cure and of course that's not going to happen. I just want to feel normal and enjoy my life, what's left of it.

Sorry for the moan, I know this is silly considering all the tradegies in the world, I'm just at a low ebb atm.

Best wishes to you all and thank you for reading, this forum means so much to me.
K>     

[Joyce]

I've been having similar moments myself. Horrid isn't it. I'll switch off TV for some peace then hubby wants to watch something. Bedtime is hard at the moment, I've been pacing the floor in the small hours trying to tire myself. Thing is I'm tired, just can't seem to switch off. 

[Anjia]

I no just how you feel awful isent it I go to bed try to relax and read my book start to think of other things that don't really matter, such a pain in the arse !!!!!!!!!

[Rowan]

I make sure I don't drink coffee, sweet stuff makes me jittery so none in the evening, a turkey , chicken or tuna sandwich "calming) for evening meal, main meal at lunch time, I also add magnesium powder to Rooibos tea for evening drink.

You have to calm the adrenal glands to relax and lower cortisol levels, melatonin can also help, its not a sleeping pill but prepares body for sleep.

[bev567901]

Kathleen, I know what you mean its horrible. Sorry you are having a bad weekend. I have no advice to give other than hopefully it might be better tomorrow. I have periods of extreme tiredness as well recently it makes no sense. Simple pleasures are no longer just that. I hope the CBT goes well for you. Bev x

[JJ]

Know exactly how you feel, difficult to concentrate on anything when you feel jittery. My symptoms have ramped up at mo so I'm having to remind myself that it will pass. I'm gonna start a journal again and rate my days, that way I can remind myself what I've achieved and hopefully see some improvement. It's a pain in the neck 

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies and many thanks for your replies.
I've been keeping a diary for a long time and I have noticed days when I've felt better and have foolishly hoped that my journey had ended only to find the symptoms returning. On the one hand of course that is depressing but it does mean there have been good days and if that can happen once, it can happen again. When I meet up with friends and neighbours and they ask how I'm feeling, and I'm having a good day, I'll say " fine thanks but it won't last". I say it as a joke but there are some dark days when those little quips just aren't funny!
Lots of sympathy to all those suffering and thank you again to those ladies who replied to my post. Wishing you all a better day tomorrow.
K.
PS I will report back on my therapy experiences for those who are interested, promise I'll keep it short. 

[JJ]

Yes, keep us posted, and how did u select one, recommendation? I did cbt on nhs but you only get about 4 sessions and it wasn't great to be honest.

[bev567901]

Kathleen I keep a journal too & it has helped me see things. Looking forward to your reports back, might help us all a bit. Bev x

[mags]

Hi Kathleen- I have just seen your post and know exactly  how you feel- I have been posting about it on the  'feeling Dreadful' thread and I think you very kindly  replied.  I am so sorry that you feel so awful- I am having symptoms of anxiety and depression which have made me lose interest in everything and I too find it hard to concentrate on reading etc- I  have started CBT which I am finding very helpful- my therapist has been setting me little targets for each day eg- going downstairs to put some washing in or maybe reading just one part of the newspaper etc. It has been tough doing it -  but some days I have surprised myself and done more than I would have expected, so it's just little steps I suppose- I still have the bad anxiety and very low moods and it is horrendous to deal with-I am on AD'S  and hoping they will start to work soon.  It isn't silly at all- it is a true illness and we have to be kind to ourselves.  Sorry I can't offer you any more advice but    am thinking of you and sending you a  Love Magsxx

[CLKD]

Eating regularly helps.  Keeping hydrated can help.  Exercise regularly will use up energy which may be making you hyper.  We are hunter gatherers so would be on the go or resting up.  Without light we would get up with the dawn and go to bed at dusk.  Maybe lowering the lights in your home would help? although I hate low lighting when I'm trying to read: makes me irritated  .  I have a TV in our bedroom and the landing light is on all night as I can't sleep without a background glow.  A gently ticking clock has, in the past, helped me drift off as did the radio: for many years I had it on low by the bed ..........

Horlicks  helps some people. Having pen and paper by the bed so that you can jot down anything you might forget rather than it whizzing round your brain might be useful.

I still use the toes upwards relaxation method ........ stretch, relax ......... all the muscle groups up the whole of the body.

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies and thanks to everyone who's added to this thread.
I'm still struggling a bit with relaxation but feel better than I did last week when I originally posted.
My flushes seem to have evolved into mini panics which I've mentioned on another thread ( funny feeling flushes I think is the title, you'd think I'd remember I only looked at it a moment ago...).
I promised I'd report back on my psychotherapy experience for anyone interested so here goes. I found my therapist online and looked for someone with lots of qualifications and experience and then contacted them by email. On my first visit I was asked to complete some questionnaires to establish my frame of mind and what I wanted to achieve ( perfection and uninterrupted happiness obviously, duh). I asked how therapy works and it appears there are many ways that talking through your issues with a professional can help, one is that by expressing all your innermost feelings honestly to someone who can support and accept you as you really are, you find that you are able to accept yourself and this releases tension. Hope so, especially as it's not cheap, prices locally for me ranged from fifty to seventy pounds an hour so I'm not sure how long I can do this for... we'll see.
One thing that did occur to me was that as we are going through 'the change' any help negotiating that must be a good thing.
Hope this is of help ladies, if I think of anything else I'll let you know.
Take care.
K.

[JJ]

Sounds interesting , it's worth trying, keep us posted x

[CLKD]

That's how I managed my anxiety.  Talking to a complete stranger being paid not to judge and most importantly for me, who didn't know anything about my family background.  It allowed me to vent as well as discuss hidden memories.  However, I was paying £75.00 per hour in the 1990s so I think the charges are reasonable.

i went intermittently for 2-3 years, always via my GP

[Rowan]

This could be helpful

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/07/chronic-stress-health-inflammation-genes_n_4226420.html