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[R4CT0M]

Anyone any tips on dealing with feeling really irritable   last week or so been really bad....
lost dad in April and someone said to me in work last Monday 'How are you, you still look really sad some days'  well I just started sobbing... since then felt really irritable..... have to look after mum who not well, and finding myself being really sharp with her... not her fault, she's lost her husband of 63 yrs

son has just text me and asked for address of his bank.... me being his PA and all, normally wouldn't bother me, but this time felt really annoyed   think I'm losing the plot

not sure if it's just dad, or cos of meno too

wish I just didn't feel like thumping someone

oh well, just gotta work through it I suppose   helps to put it down here

xxx

[CLKD]

You are grieving!  Also it's 'that' time of year so C.mas will be another hurdle.  Nights pull in, lots more to do in less time ......... 

I'm irritable too ............ 

[R4CT0M]

Thanks CLKD :)Thinking about it, I think you're probably right 

Just had my birthday.. hard without dad... wish Christmas wasn't looming.. but it is...empty chair at the table... mum and dad's anniversary Christmas eve,  dad's birthday the week after Christmas...  suppose I feel like I'm just hurtling at full speed from one event to another...
Feel stressed and irritable with everything.. doesn't help when OH tells you that really wear people down. .
don't want to make others miserable but I feel really worn down myself I can tell you

helps that people on here understand

ok rant over... pulling myself together.. onwards and upwards

xxxxx

[Hurdity]

Hi there R4CT0M

So so sorry to hear you are feeling sad as well as irritable, and I don't really have any tips except just to let it go - if you find you've said something because of the mood you're in. Perhaps explain to them, your mum, your son how you are feeling too and apologise for being short. If you are up to it, let them know that your hormones are in turmoil (you are peri aren't you?) which will exaggerate your mood. I agree with CLKD, give yourself time to grieve - April is only a few months away.

Take care

Hurdity x

[R4CT0M]

Thanks Hurdity   I'm actually post meno, but only recently started having some symptoms, suppose been lucky so far

I am sure mum understands, tends not to say much unless I want to, and lets me get on with it.
I suppose it's that first year, the first of everything to deal with... 

thanks for you kind words both of you

xxx

[honeybun]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Just go with the flow and do the best you can.
The first everything is hard after a bereavement as it just bring a it all flooding back again.
I do t know about meno....to me you are just being human.

 


Honeyb
X

[R4CT0M]

Thanks HB
XXX

[CLKD]

You could light a candle at the table where your Dad sat at C.mas.  Or put a nice decoration on a windowsill.  The 1st of everything after a bereavement is hard work!

[R4CT0M]

Yes that's a good idea CLKD Have been tempted to ignore Christmas, but he wouldn't want that, and anyway I tend to think you should face things and deal with them as they occur.    I'm sure we'll all get through ok together.  I was lucky, I had him for 50 years and he was the best dad

xx

[bev567901]

I'm so sorry you feel like this R4CTOM anger is a very much a part of bereavement. You do feel like punching someone even though you may have never thought this way your whole life. You sound like you have an awful lot on too & it is easy to be overwhelmed by it all. Break it all down into bits so its not whirling around your head. Be kind to yourself too. And lighting a candle for your dad is a great idea, choose one that that will last a few years so you can get it out again or keep it out all the time. Big strong hugs Bev x

[R4CT0M]

Thanks Bev yes overwhelmed is a good description at the moment  
stupid things annoying me like seeing dust and muddles around, and so have ago at the family about it... ridiculous really
just got to take one day at a time I suppose
one thing dad taught us was no matter what happens to keep going forward... as soon as he died , although so upset herself, mum said to me don't be upset, he's been a good husband and dad, we can't change it and we have to keep going forward, he would want us to... such a strong woman really.

sometimes going forward is hard though isn't it

just started getting back to some exercise now... always gives me a lift....will get back into a routine with that I think.

I'll be fine, I'm sure

thanks for your support everyone