Bramble, you're not being selfish by sharing your troubles with friends - it can be bonding. That's what friendship is about - it's reciprocal and your friends know you're there for them too. As the saying goes 'no man is an island', so no again you're being hard on yourself asking if you should stand on your own two feet. We all need support.
I do know where you're coming from though - many people have never been alone or partner-less so they can't imagine how difficult it is to cope alone.
**What do you do at times when you really need someone to talk to?**
I've always leaned on a couple of very close friends - they know equally that they can 'let it all hang out' with me too - and they have done so too. [For many years I lived alone however I'm fortunate enough now to live with my lovely partner but there are certain things I can't discuss with him as he doesn't "get" me.] Sometimes I've rung helplines for advice. I've joined forums, read self-help books, taken up yoga, swimming to process my emotions. And I've had counselling (private and NHS) to get me through some very difficult times in the past. It helps to just speak the words and get it out of the mind, as mentioned by Delilah. Sometimes I've typed out how I'm feeling to try and sort it in my mind. Once I visited the local Samaritans - at the time my dad was very ill and as it turned out wrongly diagnosed with liver cancer, I was like a zombie - I saw a brilliant Samaritan and we talked for 4+ hours, it helped enormously. Out of all this though, I would say my closest friend, J, is/was the greatest support and has always helped me get things into perspective / put a positive spin on things. If they're true friends then there is no 'burdening' as such.
Night_Owl
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