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[juliamd]

Hi Ladies.
I am returning 5 years after my first post when I was distraught at the start of my meno symptoms. My periods just stopped, flushes/sweats started 20mins day and night, I was tired, ratty, bad tempered, irrational, anxious, and feeling my life was coming to an end. Kids were growing up and I was facing an empty nest, with hubby who was only interested in the tv and old cars, and in a job id been in for 40 years which I could not face doing any longer. I was at rock bottom.

I logged on here and found the most amazing site, the most amazing friends and masses of unwavering support. It saved my life, I dont know where I would have been without it.
So What has happened to me in the past 5years?

I have wasted a fortune on alternative remedies, none of which really worked. Ive was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, which took 2 years to get controlled  . I was also diagnosed with coeliac disease a massive change to my lifestyle. I continue to flush/sweat, fluoxetine helps but not much, Ive resigned myself that I will have them for life. Both my children have married and moved right away. My husband and I have found a hobby we both enjoy together as 1940s re eneactors ( shopping, dressing up and acting what a combo!!). I have studied a Masters degree course in counselling and hope to qualify in the next few weeks, at last I can see a 40yr career in the NHS coming to an end, I will soon be working for myself. .

I'm not a grandma yet....but who Knows,    but I am a bit to busy for that at the mo.

The best thing that has come out of this is the friends Ive made and stayed in contact with over they years from all across the country, Micki, Petal, Sparkly, Dreamer, Libby, and Angel, I have just come back from a weekend away having now met the last member Libby I have met them all, some of us now speak to each other several times a day via a private FB page, we support it each through lifes ups and downs, ( and there have been many of those)and will continue to do so for as long as we need to. I cant imagine my life with out my lovely loyal meno friends.
After meeting this weekend we decided it would be good for each of us to come back, to tell our own story, to tell you there is a brilliant life after the meno, and to say a BIG THANKYOU for the forum and to Dr Currie.

Oh And the hot flushes keep coming and going regular as clockwork, I've learnt to live with them, i still hate them, but they are not going to define me or control my wonderful life

Lots of love to you all who are starting out, in the middle, or like me, accepting this is the way it is
 

[kes]

It's good to hear you sound so happy, despite the menopause!  I am in the throes of peri - menopause at the moment, and it is great to hear stories about how others are making/have made it through. 

I heartily agree, as a member of a several different support forums for different things (including step parenting and addiction to prescription meds) that the friendships formed are one of the best and most sustaining things about being a forum member.  Last weekend one of my friends from the Step parent forum came to visit me - we had not met before but it was a great success!   A lot of my other friends are in the USA and all over the world, but it is still a great experience.  Thanks for sharing your progress with us.

[Greyhoundgal]

What a lovely, uplifting post to read.  I think a lot of us on here view it as a lifeline at times, some more than others.  I too, have made some good friends on forums and I think they serve a great purpose, if for no other reason than finding out that you're not alone.

[Micki]

When I joined in November 2007 as a desperately low peri-meno lady I could never imagine how my life would be beyond those dreadful symptoms that I was experiencing.  I was off work for about three and a half months, unable to function for 3 weeks out of 4 due to the awful mood swings and anxiety - I have often said that if I was plugged into the national grid I would not have batted an eyelid 
It was one of the lovely ladies on this forum who suggested that it may be due to the progesterone type of the HRT I was on, and following her advice of keeping a diary I ended up switching to a kinder progesterone and helping to educate my then un-knowledgeable GP.   
In that time I made some wonderful friends here, and the support I had was amazing and so as life improved I was able to rise above the bad times and I only occasionally dipped in and out of the forum.

The symptoms settled and life continued on a more even keel until last year when I experienced unexplained bleeding and ended up having to come off the HRT cold turkey.  This ended up with bad anxiety, flushes and mood swings and 5 months off work but thankfully the tests were all negative.  Time without HRT and the symptoms gradually subsided..... until I then began normal periods again at the age of 56!!!      
I am happy to say that I am coping, symptoms are nowhere near as bad as they were initially and I am longing for the day they finally stop!     But I am not dwelling on the bad times or what may or may not be when and IF they do     I coped once before and I will again 

Like Poppins I have moved on, my 2 children are settled, my Son is an officer cadet in the merchant navy and my daughter qualified as a teacher and is expecting her first child in a few weeks time.  I have to say that if I was to have chosen a hubby for her I could not have chosen better than she has, he is wonderful and they are so excited.
Hubby and I have a small 'retreat' by the river which we spend weekends at, chill and bbq time   
I have been studying holistic therapies and though this I have learned meditation and mindfulness and am learning to make the 'me time' again 

I have remained firm friends with many of those I 'met' here and we do often chat online on a daily basis - it's rather like chatting over the garden fence   
We have even all met up at one time or another, with the last (but not least!) with Libby last weekend, and some of us manage to meet more often even though some are scattered across the country!   

Dr Curry, and admin, I would like to thank you with all my heart for the opportunity that this site and the forum gave me.  It provided me with the information and support I needed just when I needed it.  And it also gave me friends who share so much in common, and who support each other through all life's ups and downs, tears and laughter, without judgment.    I'm sure that there are many other ladies on the forum over the years who have found the same   

So, there is life after the dreadful meno symptoms.  We may not get back to our 'old selves' (how many times have I wished that) but I have learned to embrace the new.  I have found what works for me and I know that will stand me in good stead for when I do finally go through that final step of the meno.  Rather than look back I am looking forward, and looking forward to a lifetime of friendship and laughter with those I have met along the way.

As Poppins said, whether you are just going into the meno, in the middle of it, or coming out the other side I wish all you lovely forum ladies all well along the journey 

Micki, with Love 

[CLKD]

 

we have to remember that this time of Life is called 'the Change' - the 'old' us gradually disappears and the new emerges, sadly with difficulty sometimes ....... fortunately the net has opened up new lines of support for many conditions!  A problem shared and all that (it's Good to Talk) or does that date me too much 

[Cazikins]

Hi Poppins & Mikki, it is lovely to hear from you both again & thank you so much for posting your updates.

I always remember your post Poppins about embrassing the meno, I took great comfort from that.It taught me to stop fighting the menopause, I could never embrass like you, but I did somehow learn to live with it.

Mikki, I have recently had unexpected bleeding also & have to have a histeroscopy soon, I am not looking forward to it but we have to find out what is going on. It is probably my mirena coil that needs changing, but I cant decide if I want another one put in or not....it just goes on & on.

I am so glad you ladies all kept in touch, & Sparkly lives down my way too (wonder if I've ever bumped into her down my neck of the woods without realising it)...

I love the idea of you all coming back to tell your own stories, it will help the ladies on here so much.

Hope to hear more from you all soon.

Love Cazikins xxx
 

[Evenstar]

What an inspiring post. Hope I manage to find such good friends as you have on here

[Libby Babe]

I just wanted to pop by and say hi and to follow on from what Poppins and Micki have already posted.  I would also like to say how very supportive I found this forum in those very early days when I started going through the Menopause and didn't have a clue what was happening to me.  I soon realised that most of the wierd symptoms and strange pains I was having were all completely ‘normal' for a woman of a certain age going through the change of life. 
I went down the HRT route and stayed on it for 5 years but have now managed to wean myself off it.  I still take citalopram to control the depression and difficult times (of which there have been a few).  My son suffered badly with depression and has had a couple of really bad years but I am pleased to say he is doing really well now and has just completed a really good first year studying law at university.   I totally agree with the others and would say that we probably never get back to the person we used to be after the menopause but I feel as though I have grown into a much stronger and better person, I certainly know my own mind much better now and am able to pace myself through the bad days and enjoy and appreciate the good days when they come along.  I was also diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes over 3 years ago and recently diagnosed with Rheumatoid arthritis and am waiting to start on new medication for this so life has been fairly challenging for me.  The friends I made on this forum have kept me going through all of this.  Meeting up with Poppins and Micki last weekend was so wonderful.  We laughed so much and shed a few tears on parting too.  We will be meeting up again in July when I go to visit them and will also be meeting up with Dreamer for the first time too.  There is light at the end of the tunnel for each and every one of you ladies and I am so pleased I joined this forum all those years ago. 

[winifred]

This is just a lovely post,  thank you for sharing I am finding out like you all have that the meno years  are all about change  and having to cope with what this throws at us, but we keep going and even try supporting each other  and you ladies are a great example of this, thanks again for posting

[juliamd]

thankyou all for taking the time to reply, and lovely to hear from some 'old' friends good to hear your updates to.
Keep strong, keep smiling

[pj44]

How lovely that you made such great friends that still help you today, I too would like that. 

[joyce21]

Hi Poppins and Co
How lovely to hear your stories, I've dipped in and out over the years, when I 1 st came on I was having problems with anxiety above everything else, then I lost my hubby, which put everything else into the shade for a while. Then I met someone new, moved lock stock and barrel, and now 4 years down the line have just celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary (3rd june).
I was only thinking about this meno lark this morning wondering, are we the "norm" or the exception? Do most people sail through it? or is the "unspoken" problem that most women go through. All I can say is , thank god for this site, sometimes when I'm convinced my new pain/symptom is life threatning, I come on here and just to read someone else has it makes me feel so much better. How on earth did my mum/nanna etc cope without sites like this 

joyce x